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    #1

    A journal for my kids?

    Hi All,

    Friday evening and trying to keep busy..... I have been clearing out the house and have come across a lot of things I want to keep and pass on to my girl and to my boy..photos, books, special toys and for my daughter, my wedding dress.

    I have been thinking of starting a journal that I can pass on to each of them later in life which will give them an idea about their early years but that will also log my AF journey. Why? - because maybe I want them to think twice before that first drink or whatever else it might be, to be aware that if I have had a problem that they might be more susceptible and most importantly for me for them to know no matter what that they can come to me and my husband whenever they may need help, no matter how bad the situation...one of the main reasons I want to go AF is so that I can hopefully be there for them for a lot longer than if I keep on drinking.

    Is this journal a good idea or am I better saying nothing and letting them figure it all out for themselves?

    Advice and thoughts welcome
    :h
    Bandit
    There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
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    #2
    A journal for my kids?

    I think it's a lovely idea Bandit! I think I might also start something like that. The kids need all the advise they can get these days ..... whether they use it or not is another story LOL!!! You know even if you decide not to give it to them it will be something that you can go back and read in a couple of years time and realise how far you've come.
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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      #3
      A journal for my kids?

      I already keep a journal but I'm not sure if I want my children to read it when they get older. Maybe when I'm dead and gone. I don't know...it's just so personal.

      Comment

        #4
        A journal for my kids?

        Bandit, I also think the journal is a wonderful idea... for you. I'm not so sure about passing it on to your children. Do you think you'd then start censoring what you wrote because you know they'd be reading it? It might not be as useful to you if you did.
        Our kids (as we did ourselves) probably do a lot that we as parents don't know about (and really wouldn't want to) .... I think there is a point where children don't have to know the nitty gritty details of our lives either. A frank talk with them when they are old enough (as in old enought to drink) would accomplish the fact of passing on to them that they might have a tendancy to abuse alcohol as you did, and therefore make them more aware of their actions in that regard. Just my opinion.

        Comment

          #5
          A journal for my kids?

          Yeah, I too think it is a good idea for you to keep it, and maybe for your kids to have, but perhaps after you are gone, and probably not as a learning tool or example for them when they are young and beginning to make decisions about alcohol. It just doesn't seem likely to get the kind of result you want, more likely just to be really distressing and/or embarrassing to them. Just my guess.

          wip

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            #6
            A journal for my kids?

            First thing is that I disagree with my parent's concept of "getting me used to alcohol" by giving a bit of wine as early as 12 years old. I think that was wrong. Both were drinkers and I think they were "training us".

            On the other hand, both my parent's were drinkers, so maybe that had nothing to do with it. My youngest brother went through 2 years of high school in Switzerland (where everyday people drink wine at lunch) and lives nearly AF now simply because he thinks wine (beer and booze) is simply too expensive.

            A journal to capture the trials of your life is an interesting legacy for kids. OTOH, my Mom says "I grew you boys up in an alcoholic Valium haze and I'm glad you all didn't go to jail but frankly, I don't remember a moment of it". It's a great line, because we can't blame her for anything...

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              #7
              A journal for my kids?

              hi Bandit

              I am a parent, and I think maybe more important than it all being about alcohol, maybe more about how you had a problem, and were open to, and did, work on it.
              I think that is a huge example to give to your kids.

              Lila

              Comment

                #8
                A journal for my kids?

                BTW I shouldn't diss my mom. During her "alcohol and valium days" she managed to raise 4 boys, work full time, obtain a 2nd college degree (i.e. she has two "four year" degrees, and also was New England regional champion at duplicate bridge for at least 2 years and runner up in at least six more years.

                So I think she's using a line now... That's what I'm saying.

                Comment

                  #9
                  A journal for my kids?

                  Boss.man --- you're Mom is absolutely feeding you a line ..... from what she accomplished in a supposedly alcholic/valium daze? I've taken up duplicate bridge in the last 3 years, and her being a champ at that game! ... there is NO WAY she was in a haze .... it is a game that takes immense concentration, focus and memory skills. I was blown away by the amount of learning it takes to be a good bridge player, let alone a champion one. I have 7 books, each about 1 1/2 inches thick that I've studied, just to become a "beginner". This is not kitchen bridge! So, good on Mom ... she "got" you!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    A journal for my kids?

                    You should see me at sudoku, which I can do dead drunk.

                    I like to study the physiology of alcohol. And I find it very interesting. I've never taken Valium, and am so afraid of any any addictive drug that I have not taken any Vicodol or Codine, even when prescribed, for more than 20 years.

                    You are right. Duplicate bridge, a game played with a partner, is an exercise in extreme codewords, known as "bids", where after two rounds the players play hands and the result is determined. The result shows the "truth" of the bidding. The bidding takes a calculation that you personally know 1/4 of the cards played, and you and your partner transmit in your bids your hand. Thereby you calculate the plays of the remaining 50% of the cards.

                    The game reaches a level where there are "codes" where you bid a certain way, to indicate something different than your bid. So the codes by themselves are a whole new realm.

                    But isn't that a reflection of how we all live? Sure we go to work, tell the truth, and raise kids. But isn't there codes we give to other people to affirm or dis-affirm them in our lives?

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