My breakup with boyfriend AL

[AstraiaJ.]

I am celebrating a new AF record today, so I was thinking about "AL," who is beginning to feel like the bad boyfriend I needed to break up with but couldn't see it at the time. Seriously, this may sound really stupid, but when I first visited this site and didn't know the various abbreviations yet, someone referred to "breaking it off with AL" or something like that and I thought it was someone talking about a relationship! Geese. But for me, AL WAS like a bad boyfriend because
AL was jealous of time I could have been spending with family and friends
AL took lots of money and didn't give any back
AL made me feel good temporarily; terrible the next day
AL led me to make excuses to everyone about our relationship
AL became an embarrassment I tried to hide

NOW THAT AL DOESN'T HAVE A HOLD ON ME I AM BEGINNING TO BE A WHOLE PERSON AGAIN! THANK GOODNESS.

[shelbysmiles]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Congratulations on your AF record!

AL embarrassed me in public
AL aged me by 10 years

[Carmac]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Indeed, congrats on your record. Can we ask what it is?

A few more additions to AL's boyfriend propoerties:

Al totally disrupted my nights of beauty sleep

Al destroyed my self esteem, and made me ashamed of who I was

Al created detours in my path to personal happiness

[New Day]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Very well put, AstraiaJ. Yes, the embarrassment is universal I think! :thanks:

[AstraiaJ.]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Indiamike, since you asked my record for today is 15 days, but that doesn't tell the whole story. Before that it was 12 days (with one day having AL) before that it was 9, before that it was 5, and so forth. All total, since June I have cut way back. So I guess you could say my former boyfriend "AL" and I are still on occasional speaking terms. I wouldn't recommend that for everyone though. I think the only way I am able to do this is that my hubby and I made a mutual decision that we would NOT have AL in the house ever, at least for now. I see "AL" when we go out to dinner, which is becoming less and less (both of us realizing that part of the reason for going out to dinner was to have a drink also). With gas prices and inflation, we save money by not going out to dinner so much anyway! Now, before we do go out to dinner, we renew our promise: no buying alcohol on the way home. And we can't drink much when we're out, since we have to drive.

If I were doing this on my own, I think I would have to do NO AL, EVER, at least for now. I have too many cravings (getting better now). Can't ever seem to have "just one" except in a contrived situation, like going out to dinner and promising not to buy any on the way home, and sticking to it. I'm beginning to accept that I may never be able to have AL in the house, ever, for the rest of my life, but the good thing is that I'm OK with that (wouldn't have been in June).

[nanlovesdogs]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

I am having an affair with AL. AL and my husband are aquaintences, nothing more. AL and I have been so close for so long, it is hard to break up. AL has a split personality; charming and seductive in the evening, hateful and painful the next day.

My husband has not yet issued the ultimatum and I don't want it to get to that. I am in the process of cutting AL out of my life, but he doesn't want to go. I get stronger every day that I visit this group, so I will get rid of AL.

[AstraiaJ.]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

AL, you two-timer! (Actually million-timer). Nanlovesdogs, keep it up! I didn't want to lose my husband over AL either. And the more I came here, eventually the easier it was to give it up. Wow it was so hard at first. Beginning to get much easier now. Don't give up!

[New Day]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Congratulations Astraia ---- you developed a pattern of longer and longer AF stretches. That is my goal too. It will take baby steps for me to get there.
Nan --- I too don't want to wait for hubby to issue an ultimatum ... he has been very tolerant up til now and I don't want to push it. Haven't told him what I'm doing, but I'm sure he's noticed. To me it's out there ... I haven't had a bottle of wine night after night, but because he doesn't drink much, and I would sneakily fill up my glass when he was out of the room (who was I kidding?) .... I'm not sure he knew I'd polish off a bottle and be well into a 2nd before heading to bed. He spends most of his evenings in his office and I'm in the family room, so it was easy to hide it from him..... but he nows I loved my wine. So, when we're having milk with dinner every night, he hasn't said anything. Maybe 4 - 5 days at a stretch isn't noticible to him yet, ... but boy to me it's HUGE!
I too am so much stronger for having found everyone here.... thank you all!

[nanlovesdogs]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

New Day,

As with you, I haven't told my husband what I am doing, but I do think he notices. I have not told him about my "group" either. This has to be between me and me for now. I am concerned that he will scoff or be critical. I only post at work, which makes feel bad that I am using company time.

I hope to be able to join in at night and on weekends at some point. I have only been here for 5 days so I have a long way to go. I think about all of the AF folks at night and hope I can be one of you sooner rather than later.

Yea for us!!!

[CS04]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

Astraia, read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She makes many of the same analogies about alcohol being like a bad boyfriend that you know you need to break up with, but can't. It really is an excellent book.

[gyco]

My breakup with boyfriend AL

thnx as,im glad your seein the lite,great job gyco