JEALOUSY

[vlad]

This is sick - but sometimes I find myself feeling jealous of those who are drinking to excess! I'll hear, 'I drink a litre of vodka a day...' or something similar and I'll have this part of me that's JEALOUS! I'll think 'I wish I was drinking a litre of vodka a day, yum!' and I crave a little! SICK! SICK! SICK! It's utter rubbish! These people are hurting because they're struggling with addiction just as I was. ARRRRRRRRRRGH! I know there are other people who feel the way I do too but maybe feel uncomfortable about admitting it - I did! Feels better to get it out though!

[lucky 2.0]

JEALOUSY

I am actually repulsed by drinking or eating in excess.

[startingover]

JEALOUSY

Perhaps its just part of the process vlad?
I have just read a book about giving up the booze and it is like a bereavement, so you go through all sorts of uncomfortable emotions on the way.
Anyway as they say, best out than in (thoughts)

[Tiny]

JEALOUSY

Lucky -- your reply made me laugh -- to me "access" is a computer program that I use... and I hate access! Your point is well taken.

[lucky 2.0]

JEALOUSY

Yes, thanks Tiny. You are correct! I will change it!

[Evie.Lou]

JEALOUSY

Dearest Vlad,I can relate to the feeling jealous of people who are drinking.I have thought about this alot and I think it is the memory of when AL felt good that I miss.At the end AL never felt good so I know it is just a false memory.If your sick Vlad...I want to catch your disease.You are very wise in my eyes.

[vlad]

JEALOUSY

evielou;390686 wrote: Dearest Vlad,I can relate to the feeling jealous of people who are drinking.I have thought about this alot and I think it is the memory of when AL felt good that I miss.At the end AL never felt good so I know it is just a false memory.If your sick Vlad...I want to catch your disease.You are very wise in my eyes.

Ohhhh... thank you evielou! The jealous feeling is just one of those obsessional feelings I just can't seem to get shut of! One of the reasons I accidently stumbled across MWO in the first place.

[irishlady]

JEALOUSY

vlad you're not alone in your feelings. I can remember feeling the same way during the first six months or so of being AF. I can even remember being extremely jealous of anyone in a restaurant who seemed able to have just one glass of wine with their meal. I used to look at them and think why them and not me, even though by then I knew that I didn't want to drink again so the feeling and the thoughts were totally illogical. Even now at nearly two years AF I still get the same sort of feelings occasionally.

[DeeBee]

JEALOUSY

Vladster I think it's the buzz more than anything else I miss. It was so easy for me to get "happy" or "talkative" or loose my inhabitions (sp?) on AL. I find it so difficult to communicate (not on MWO though LOL) and AL has always openend the door to that for me. I am now learning how to be happy without it and get high on life. It's not easy mind you... and it's not always pretty when I look into the mirror and realise just how shallow and meaningless my life became.

Don't let AL fool you into thinking that it holds good times wrapped in a Vodka bottle... it only holds misery, self-loathing and guilt!!!