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    #1

    Liquid Courage

    A lightbulb just went off in my little blonde head : ) I have been telling therapists for years now that all of my old (big) problems are gone but I still can't let myself be truly happy because it feels wrong and scary. Like the pattern of battling problems was imprinted in my mind but now the problems are gone and I don't know how to just be happy without a problem to fix. So now I have no problems and it's great but at the same time it's like somebody took my binkie, LOL! Then I got to thinking about how I am such a happy drunk and I made the connection, I am afraid to be happy.

    Maybe while drinking all of us become, to some extent, whatever we are afraid to be sober. I would have never thought it could be something like happiness but it does make sense to me now.

    Anyway, I thought I would share, in case anyone can relate. This realisation has really helped me to not drink
    Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
    - George Jackson
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    #2
    Liquid Courage

    MyHeart,

    I know what you mean about being afraid to be happy. I tend to be waiting for the other shoe to drop and something horrible to happen.

    I am so glad you have made steps in solving your issues. Not just with the drinking but with the whole shebang.

    You are on your way, girl!!

    Love,
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #3
      Liquid Courage

      ps, I missed the outcome of the AA meeting with you and your BF.

      How did that go?
      AF April 9, 2016

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        #4
        Liquid Courage

        We never did go to that meeting but did bring in a third friend on our sobriety discussions....we are forming our own little group, LOL! Unfortunately one of us is only a pill popper and friend #3 says some people may indeed be offended by that at AA. We haven't ruled it out entirely though.
        Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
        - George Jackson

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          #5
          Liquid Courage

          cindi;391192 wrote:
          I know what you mean about being afraid to be happy. I tend to be waiting for the other shoe to drop and something horrible to happen.
          EXACTLY!!!! We're all in this together girl :l
          Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
          - George Jackson

          Comment

            #6
            Liquid Courage

            My Heart ---- I never have thought of it in those terms .... "afraid to be happy".... but boy did you nail it for me! I've only felt true, unabashed happiness once in my life ... I was hiking the Milford Trak in New Zealand and was astounded by the beauty. The rest of the time I've faked being happy when I know I should be so I didn't let others down when they were trying to please me, etc. I'm a fairly quiet, reserved person and won't open up to others until I've had a few drinks. My question to others .... how do you overcome this without drinking?

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              #7
              Liquid Courage

              Heart -

              I certainly can't speak for all of AA but do know the meeting I attend would be just fine with it. We all realize the battles are one and the same in so many ways. We have folks battling drugs, alcohol, alcohol and drugs...you name it.

              Hope passing that along may be helpful.

              Erin
              Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

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                #8
                Liquid Courage

                Oh...and the afraid to be happy thing?

                Yah!! Like I am not valuable enough or deserving....

                Well, I am working on ditching that notion 'cause I have decided we are all worth it! Me too!
                Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

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                  #9
                  Liquid Courage

                  New Day;391218 wrote: .... how do you overcome this without drinking?
                  Recognizing what is really happening is part of overcoming it.....kind of like "The truth will set you free." :l
                  Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
                  - George Jackson

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Liquid Courage

                    indiamike2;391221 wrote: Oh...and the afraid to be happy thing?

                    Yah!! Like I am not valuable enough or deserving....

                    Well, I am working on ditching that notion 'cause I have decided we are all worth it! Me too!
                    Thank You Indiamike, That is part of the puzzle solved for me...low self esteem....we are all worth it :h
                    Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
                    - George Jackson

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Liquid Courage

                      Heart -

                      Loved the This is Me on You Tube. Very, very appropo.

                      And yes, that self esteem thing?

                      It's almost like we have to learn to say "yes" to ourselves. We are good people. We love our familes, care for our friends and work hard to be good people. We just sometimes have to remind ouselves.

                      I am learning to be happy.........and recognize all the things I do well. Others have told me I am a good person. Now I'm learning to let myself believe it.

                      Thanks for your post. Its nice to know others are on a similar path.
                      Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

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