Help, I am a wreck

[dexterhead]

I have been trying to get my life back together for such a long time. Went through a shattering divorce 3 years ago and I cannot seem to recover. My drinking went thru the roof during the divorce and has continued. I have planned to do 30 days in September. Yet this morning, I received the news that my ex is remarrying. I am sitting at work hysterical, bawling my eyes out. I simply don't know how to deal with this blow. He has moved on to happiness; I remain mired in misery. Sorry to be such a baby, but how much more heartbreak can I take ...

[Lila]

Help, I am a wreck

Awwww...Dexter

Divorce is very very hard.
Maybe you are using alcohol to help you thru it?
I am doing very well using New Chapter SC27 St Johns Wort (the best brand) and L-Tryptophan at night.
Keep doing the program and sharing here. Many of us have been thru divorce. It is one of the TOP life stressors. You will get thru this! You can't see it now but there are wonderful things ahead for you.

Love

Lila

[bestlifeldms]

Help, I am a wreck

Awwwwe! I am so sorry that you are feeling such pain. OMG! I got divorced because it was what I thought I wanted. But, can remember, I was devistated when ex moved on! It's one thing to be divorced legally, but entirely different to be emotionally divorced. Sending you love and support. I really do understand your pain.

[Popeye]

Help, I am a wreck

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad Dexter.
It's a lot to go through, but there is life after divorce.
Try and keep your head high.

[on my way]

Help, I am a wreck

Dexter?. Lila is right, using a depressant is not going to help you thru a depressing situation. I hope you can find some peace and closure. I?m getting back at abs after an unsuccessful attempt at moderating. I would love to have someone to move through the first month with. You can find me in the abs thread

Lila, glad you?re doing well

omw

[Carmac]

Help, I am a wreck

Dexter -

I am so so rry to here your pain. I, too have been through divorce.

There is life after though. I and many, many have experienced that. May I suggest a wonderful book that has helped me and many of my firends? It describes the stages of getting through this painful time and rebuilding your life in a healthy way. It's called Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Dr. Bruce Fisher. I always keep a spare copy here to give to people in your situation.

Please try to stay strong for you.

Erin

[brittzak]

Help, I am a wreck

Dexter my heart goes out to you as well. Divorce is VERY HARD. Keep your gioal for Sept, dont let this deter you.

[spottydingo]

Help, I am a wreck

Dear Dexter, I'm so sorry to hear your pain and my heart goes out to you. Just remember that drinking makes depression worse and it prevents us from moving forward. I know its hard to not get mired down in the "Pit", but TRY not to dwell on it. Focus on yourself, be nice to yourself and try to keep your goal of going AF in September. Chances are everything will feel less painful when you can see the situation clearly.

Best wishes!

[nancy]

Help, I am a wreck

Hi Dexterhead

I know it's tempting to turn to alcohol for help with emotional problems, but as the others wrote, it's a depressant and will only make you feel worse.

You should try to be with people you are close to during this time and refrain from drinking if possible. I can also suggest a good book by a Buddhist nun, I think she got into if after her marriage fell apart. It's called "When things fall apart" by Pema Chodron.

It's natural to feel really upset after something like this. Allow yourself to feel it for now and don't try to drown it out with booze.

Nancy

[startingover]

Help, I am a wreck

Oh Dexter, I am sorry to read you are having a horrible time. Like all have said, the worst thing you can do is drink and the best thing you can do is look after you. Easier said than done my friend I know. Just know that thoughts are with you,

[dexterhead]

Help, I am a wreck

Thanks guys. India, I actually went through a whole seminar type thing based on the "Rebuilding" book. Guess it did not do the trick, but I made some good friends through it.
The thought of him living with his new lady in the house I so adored (yes, he got the house, I make so little money that I didn't try to fight for it) makes me ill ....
I just cannot seem to heal.

[louise]

Help, I am a wreck

I'm so sorry Dexter. It is ok to cry your eyes out right now. Can you call some of those friends you made?

[beatle]

Help, I am a wreck

Hi Dexter. I'm not in a position to give any help- but I just want to let you know I'm feeling for you.

[sammys]

Help, I am a wreck

Ok Dex, I for one think you should stop thinking your ex is happy alot of people can't be alone, or get married for all the wrong and I mean all the wrong reasons. Try to remember what it was like living with him and of course everyone has good times but you got divorced because it was not good? Right!!

One time someone told me that if you are going to be miserable that person is still controlling you even if you are not with them. They said if I want to get up and be happy its up to me not them.

I hope I helped a bit, us girls need to stick together with stuff like this.

Sammys

[hart]

Help, I am a wreck

Dex, what Sammy said makes a lot of sense. I divorced my husband, and felt awful, but after trying to get me back and failing, he immediately went and married a mail order bride twentyfive years his junior (I was 16). Some men just can't be alone....that doesn't mean your ex loved you less.