I feel so overwhelmed....

[Miso]

Like many of us, I feel like I have so much on my plate that I could just explode. I have been taking care of my mother who had stroke, 8 years ago. I am her sole caregiver. I have no life. I have no friends that are local. During the past 8 years my drinking has escalated, but a drinking issue has always been there. I am also having stress over my financial situation, my health and my weight. Generally, I just feel like crap. I had 112 days AF and did well for a couple of months "moderating". Now, I just want to numb the pain. I know I shouldn't drink, because of my health and all the other obvious reasons, but I just want to be numb. I hate myself for that.

I am not trying to justify my behavior (I know I'm not doing the right thing,right now), but it seems like so many of us are really struggling . It seems like a lot of people have been falling off the wagon lately. Has anyone else noticed that? Or, am I just noticing it, because I have fallen off.

I am just looking for some support and advise. I feel so lost right now.


Miso :heart:

[Carmac]

I feel so overwhelmed....

Miso -

I know this may sound trite....but if you can get through those feelings without the drinking, it may lead to becoming more famiiar with how to accomplish it in the future and your realzing that you can do it. Its ok to feel like crap. We all do at times.

Sometime the dark is what we need to get ourselves through to that next period of light and change in our lives. It also tends to make us think about why we are there and how to make ourselves happier.

Please try to get through it. We're here to help.

Erin

[gyco]

I feel so overwhelmed....

very good thread,your doin what most would do,your a care giver but with nothing in return,or no help ,your not alone many of us out there,as far as your drinkin,if you cant slow down which it seems you can, just slow down,i guess some us thro thick and thin need to medicate,that is the way of the world,But your strong,sit back and relax,when you get a chance and enjoy,beleive me i feel your Pain gyco

[bloggy]

I feel so overwhelmed....

Miso

I have done well lately but I must admit would have failed today (Day 5) without the Antabuse, and I thought lots of us were doing well! I suppose we notice the posts more that resonate with how we feel at the time.

112 days is awesome- you must've felt better at that time?

You are obviously feeling depressed hence the reason you want to numb, and you do sound like you have a lot on your plate- I wouldn't normally say this as I don't really like taking meds but have you thought about getting something of your doctor to help with this?

I know here there is stuff they give you for short term use to get people over bad patches. Might numb the feelings enough that you don't feel you have to drink to do it?

Please let us know how you get on.

[startingover]

I feel so overwhelmed....

Hi Miso, I think I know how you feel. My mum has been ill for a long time too (she is getting better now though) it is so draining when there is no end in sight isn't it? I asked the doctor for help eventually when I was at the end of my tether and drinking like a fish (didn't tell him I was drinking though, just said I was depressed) I am on anti depressants now and having counselling. It has really helped me (especially being AF) I don't think I could be af though without the other help.
Perhaps have a chat with your doc? Just talking about stuff and letting it out was a start for me.
I hope this helps a bit.
Take care of yourself x

[Miso]

I feel so overwhelmed....

Wow, thank you all for your kind words and support. It really felt like a hug :l. I probably should try the chat room again. I'm just not very savy in that department. I should probably look for a support group for caregivers too. Although it is very tough on me, I wouldn't change the wonderful times it has given me with my mother. I have been on almost every anti-depressant there is out there, and the side effects never seem to go away. It has to be something in my chemical makeup, because no matter what time of the day I take them, they all wire me to pieces. I have tried the GABA, SAMe, L-Glut,Lithium Orotate, and did not get any calming effects, just felt wired. I am going to try the 5-htp and see what that does.

Again, thank you all for responding. I don't want to be a whiney butt, but I am really feeling lost.

Miso :heart: