AF Army Thursday August 28th!

[vlad]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

LOL! If I went to a friends or relatives for drinks, I'd drink moderately, leave about 9.00pm and then go home and down half a litre of vodka.

[vlad]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Had to laugh at myself a few months back because I went to an engagement party, stayed on the soft drinks and then went home and had some beer - daft isn't it???

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Good morning everyone, sounds like everyone is doing GREAT.

It's still dark in the middle of the USA, dogs and cats are fed, and pretty soon I need to get to work on getting ready for tonight's class, and also have to go visit my mother in the psych hospital. Didn't go yesterday, just really felt I needed a break. It's always very hard, and this is not long after her 6 weeks in regular hospital, then nursing home. The "visiting" in these facilities is necessary but so painful and exhausting.

wip

[bloggy]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

A Work in Progress;393652 wrote: Good morning everyone, sounds like everyone is doing GREAT.

It's still dark in the middle of the USA, dogs and cats are fed, and pretty soon I need to get to work on getting ready for tonight's class, and also have to go visit my mother in the psych hospital. Didn't go yesterday, just really felt I needed a break. It's always very hard, and this is not long after her 6 weeks in regular hospital, then nursing home. The "visiting" in these facilities is necessary but so painful and exhausting.

wip

Big congrats on all you AF days WIP.

It must be especially hard when you have the added strain of your mum being sick.

We all seem to be doing pretty well tho! The big Al is retreating, slowly but surely! We will surely be in line for some Queen's recommendations and stuff soon.

[Cinders]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Good Morning, Everyone!!

Our platoon is doing so well.

I just wanted to let all of you know how much your support and laughter is helping me.

Not long ago, I was an all day, everyday drinker. It is amazing I didn't kill myself. That is not a joke. I would black out everyday by mid afternoon, I would have drank at least a bottle of vodka, starting very early in the morning, and sometimes two.

I would wake up in horrible sweats, I would wake up in the morning with hands shaking so badly I had to take a drink just to be able to make hubby's coffee when home, or have a couple before I got dressed so I could hide the shakes from the waiter in the hotel restaurant. I would go to work and pray the clients did not know.

Sometimes, due to the alcohol's effect and depression, I would consider ways to kill myself just to get away from the madness.

I have done better and better over time. Somehow on Aug 11, when we started this thread, I heard this "click" in my brain. It said, "You can't drink, you can never drink and you are happy about that."

No, it doesn't make the internal voice go away completely, but it does make it easier to tell it to shut up.

Because of all of you and your help, along with my happiness with being sober, and taking the Antabuse, which lets telling my internal voice, "Can't do it." I am back on another long term path. Only this time, I am thinking the long term is the rest of my life!!

Today, I feel like a non-drinker. When a client asked me to go to a pub with him for a couple, I told him I don't drink. It came out easily. I told him I had to quit drinking for good. He looked a little surprised but we went to the pub for a chat. I had hot tea and he had a couple beers. I wasn't uncomfortable in the least.

I am hoping this state of mind lasts forever. I wake up and pray a prayer of gratitude to God. I go to work, I eat dinner, I try to hit an AA meeting and I post on MWO. I go to bed and say another prayer of gratitude and I fall asleep content, happy and proud.

I also get to laugh and tease with my MWO friends and actually ENJOY LIFE!!

Thank you all for being here.
Love,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Thanks, OneTwo! Glad you got a bit of a lie-in after yesterday's BIG DAY, lots of work, lots of joy, and sorrow/anger, too, in dealing with Baldie, and his anger. That stuff'll wear you flat OUT.

Marbella! Do you think we will get Queen's Recommendations and all??!! Well, I think we OUGHT to...

Vlad, you're doing great, so good to get all that damn sneaking around behind you, yes?

I want to second Cinders, too, in thank you all. I look back and I am amazed that on the very day I really became determined to quit the alcohol, I managed to find this place, had never heard of it before. I had already found a nearby AA meeting to go to that day, I was gritting my teeth to make myself go there, but did some looking around the internet, too. Decided to check out MWO. It has made all the difference to have the help and support and companionship of so many lovely people here. I know that regardless of the strength of the determination that came over me on July 22, I could not have sustained it without you. Many, many thanks.

wip

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

p.s. Cinders I am one of those people who hates clowns, but somehow I really LIKE this new avatar, he is so f*ng OVER THE TOP that he's fun!

wip

[KBCE]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Cindi - good for you. you should be so proud of yourself - you have come so far! The "attitude of gratitude" is what helps me as well. When I think of having a glass of wine, I think to myself, what benefits are you going to get outta that? NONE! And them I reflect on the blessings I have in my life and how empty I would be without them. You guys here are a blessing to me. Your support and humor has helped me more than you know and I am grateful to each of you.

And DeeBee - I have a 14 year old who wears my clothes too! I try to wear hers, but I look like a dork. Not fair....lol

[DeeBee]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

LOL Kat, I know, I keep trying on her tops and they dont even cover the saggy bits LOL!

Wow WIP & Cinders, I sat here reading your posts and nodding my head. I have such a short memory span, although it is improving so I can never remember the thoughts that flit through my head long enough to put them in writing. But Cinders you are sounding AWESOME. Was it liberating to sit in the pub and order tea.... I hope you gave yourself a pat on the back for staying so focused!

Cinders, you reminded me of something. Hubby and I had a drunken fight once and I left home and just drove... but I didn't have any petrol in the car nor did I take my wallet (not a well planned get-away) and I ended up sitting on a bridge just bawling my eyes out because I thought he didn't love me and was being such a prick. I had thoughts of just driving the car off the bridge as that would teach him! Ow, that really hurts to think of now. I think I filed that memory somewhere deep into the memory banks where I couldn't reach it as I was so ashamed the next morning.

WIP, I'm pleased you managed some time off to re-juvinate your soul and sanity. I have never been through what you are with your Mum so I have no words of wisdom, but i can send a huge ((((cyberhug))) to get you through today.

Vladster, I was the opposite, I would get trashed anywhere!! cringe!

[New Day]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Hello to the troops and new recruits ---- Day 4 for me ---- getting some good training in here. Having difficulty getting to sleep though ---- takes hours to fall asleep, and I'm up 3 times a night for bathroom runs ---- I drink a lot of water throughout the day! My best sleep time is between 4:00 am and 7:30 am. However, I'm still feeling okay. At least I'm not foggy headed and dragging my behind from being hungover... what a great feeling that is!.
Vlad, I can SO relate to you at the social events, drinking soft drinks and then hitting the bottle at home alone. I would do the same thing ... sort of reward myself for not drinking in public and making a fool of myself!
We have a big wedding to attend on Saturday, and will not drink except to toast the bride and groom. It's a wedding where we know just about everyone and would be horrible to end up drunk in front of them. So I'm glad I've found MWO before this big event. Thanks you everyone for your support and inspiring stories. Cindi --- you are a huge inspiration! What an accomplishment ... keep it up girl!
I will be enlisting full time come Sept 1 for the 30 day boot camp!

[Alley]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Good morning, troops! Y'all post so much earlier than I do that I can't keep up with all the threads by the time I log on! I need to get up earlier, don't I? So great to read the optimism and about the successes and gnarly little sleeping partners.

We got the remnants of Fay so it's been raining here in heavy bands for the past couple of days. I don't mind the smoky clouds and cool rain. Otherwise, it's dog days for us. My kitties are attached to my ankles since I've been paying them more sober attention.

Cindi, wow!!!! So great to read your post. I'm starting to feel like a non-drinker, too, even though I haven't done a very good job with the consecutive AF thing. There are more and more days that I go without. I like that idea of eventually not being stressed when others are drinking around me.

WIP, thinking of you and your mom situation. Dealing with parents is so thick with emotions. Hang in there.

Thinking of all of you. So glad I'm here. I've noticed that even though I don't talk much about getting sober, the few people I've told--friends--have strange reactions, as some of you have also noted. One friend actually tried to argue that she was sure she drank more than I did! She must be tops in everything! One had nothing to say. One doubted I really needed to quit altogether since I wasn't "all that bad." Funny how telling people brings up their own insecurities and they react accordingly. Only one friend has said, Don't worry about talking about it since we all need to be reminded of our own commitments.

I am trying, as advised, to slice away a few triggers, or at least hide them under the bed for a while. I think it's a workable strategy this time, even though I am moping on the days I don't drink. I trust that mood will pass as my body and brain even out. Have a wonderful day, all. I am definitely on board for Sept. 1! Best, Alley

[Carmac]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Hi all...checking back in

Its still AM here in the states and indeed cloudy here as well as the remnants of Fay pass.

I'm preparing for a weekend away today. Need to be cooking today and then off in the AM.

O2M - My avatar is Johnny Carson as Carmac the Magnificent. Carmac sees all!

Great weekend all! Erin

[startingover]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

I am here!!!!!!! Just catching my breath and will be back in a mo.....
Youre all doing fab, I warms my heart to read this thread!!!
Cinders, I pray that my light stays on every day too !

Back in a moment troops

[CS04]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

Blah

Hi everyone,
I am not doing well today. Not really because of AL, but with new routine this week, I have been forgetting to take my AD's, and it is catching up with me. I feel weepy, angry. Having my period doesn't help either (sorry if any of the guys are reading). I am back to being angry at hubby and feeling generally like a failure re. AL and my job. (not AL and the job together -- lol). There have been tensions here at MWO that frankly are getting me down a bit, and my sister and I have been fighting. She and I are close (our boys are 9 months apart, too) but she really is a negative person, and I need more positive vibes. Finances continue to be tight, as I don't get paid till the end of Sept. I usually feel positive at this time of year, but I just don't right now.

[lilnev]

AF Army Thursday August 28th!

I'm here, and doing awesome! Another fine day in Boston, another long bike ride this morning. I'll get in shape yet, plus it's my version of quiet time.

I've had a really great week. The best in a long while. Been going to AA ~3 times/week. At first it was stressful and difficult, but lately I've actually been looking forward to the meetings. I find a sense of connection there that's too scarce in my life.

I don't any kids to share my bed, but I do have cats. And it's great to wake up with one or both of them curled up next to me. A little cuddle time to ease into the morning.

March on, AF soldiers!
lilnev