what did your significant other do....

[Babbert]

that made it obvious you needed to do something about your drinking?

It was when I noticed that every single time my husband came into the room he would look over at the side table, before looking at me or anything else, to see if there was a drink on it - and almost always find one there.....

[kriger]

what did your significant other do....

My hubby always had a beer in his hand before I did, so I had to arrive at this decision to quit on my own. My motivation is my health...my future life. I am hoping that, in time, he will follow my lead. I worry terribly about his health. His eyes are no longer white and that scares me terribly. He doesn't want to do anything anymore when done with work besides drink. He is going to have to make his own mind up to become sober-I can't make that decision for him.

My son, like your husband, was the one to notice all the beer bottles lining up on our kitchen counter. I haven't told my son I stopped drinking but he has noticed and has been much more affectionate lately. He worries about us and I'm sure he's not too keen on having alkies as parents.

Babbert, Did you stop drinking? Has your hubby noticed any changes you have made? K

[kriger]

what did your significant other do....

Janie,
I doesn't sound like things are going better for you and hubby. Sorry to hear that. K

[Babbert]

what did your significant other do....

Janie
totally get your comment. my hub doesn't drink much but he can be pretty annoying at times. can get rather condescending about me doing it. bad attitudes don't help a dang bit.
but really, it just showed me how what i was doing actually was changing was people around me did. also underlined how much time i was spending in the den, sitting on the couch watching tv and drinking.

[Babbert]

what did your significant other do....

K
I'm on DAY ONE. hubs knows all about it and is watching out for me in terms of weird side effects of topomax. so far so good, we both agreed no promises but definitely hope.

[rubywillow]

what did your significant other do....

Hubs

Somedays, he's fine; affectionate, grateful, helpful. But then his true personality comes out (kidding, sort of). He's an only child, MOL DOTES on him, never like me (38 yrs). He doesn't think there's anything wrong with being blunt, speaking his mind, and expects a lot as being normal. He truly doesn't believe he's hurtful when he speaks his mind, but he can't take what he dishes out. After 38 years, the good outweighs the bad, but I really wish he could get the real picture. It's hard to be with someone who is almost always right, and he knows it. At his job, he's the go-to man, always has the answer. At home, he knows the answer but won't do anything about it till I threaten to hire a professional. Needs computer now, so I'm out!:thanks:

[New Day]

what did your significant other do....

My hubby never said anything ---- actually my 26 year daughter was the one that called me an alcoholic a couple of years ago. I laughed it off, but she was right. I had a hard time admitting it (probably still do to be honest). My husband smokes, so he knows if he ever said anything, I'd come back with the "well, I'll quit drinking if you quit smoking" line. I decided I needed to do this for myself. I found this site almost 2 months ago, and although I've not quit completely, I've had many, many more days AF than in the last 5 years combined, I'd say. I did tell him, for the first time, that I was giving alcohol a break, so that's why I wasn't drinking as much as I normally do. He seemed very pleased by that, but didn't say much more. We have a hard time going into serious discussions..... probably because whenever we went there, I was drunk ... and then it would get ugly. He has certainly put up with a lot from me and I need to thank him for that.

[dexterhead]

what did your significant other do....

Hub used to figure out my hiding places. A glass stuck behind a door, etc. Oh, the shame. He wasn't so much of a drinker. Now he has found a new woman without such problems.

[CS04]

what did your significant other do....

Babbert, you may find it helpful to search the thread "Spouses Who Drink." I started it a while back because it has been a big issue with me. There is a lot to read there.

[rubywillow]

what did your significant other do....

It's hard for me to understand how so many women on this site say their husbands never said anything. Maybe I was worse than anyone else, 'cause Hubs said plenty! He's a bit of a hypocrite tho, and I've pointed that out to him, (which he does not like!) He's the sort that's used to being right, and gets uneasy when he's not. I'm getting stronger, tho, and he doesn't really know how to take it. I used to get over-the-edge drunk, and become abusive, 99% of the time verbally. I DID throw a skillet at him one time, but missed on purpose. I think all my frustrations came out when I drank, since I'm not normally confrontational. Now, after all this time, he's trying to figure out where he stands, and it takes some getting used to. He's getting better, but he's a true alpha male, and I've found the best way to deal with him is to quietly ride out his moods, then watch as he wrestles with his bad behavior. He KNOWS he's wrong, but has to figure it out for himself, since I don't want to argue with him any more.

[Cinders]

what did your significant other do....

Wow. This one is really interesting to answer.

One time recently (before I quit) my hubby told me that if I continued drinking, he would have to divorce me because I was putting the whole family at risk. He said he did not want a divorce but would be forced to divorce me.

Now, one would think that would make me want to sober up.

Here's the scary thing. I actually thought about it and had to decide which was more important, drinking or staying married to the man I love for 30+ years.

A couple days later, I woke up and thought about that and many other things and realized that it was so bad that I actually had to think about it.

So, did the thread of a divorce scare me sober? No.

The realization that I was that far gone into this addiction scared me sober.

Does that make sense?

Cindi

[boozehag]

what did your significant other do....

My husband never said much either - it is so strange really that they a lot of them dont seem to say anything maybe they dont want to rock the boat or something. I certainly never initiated any conversations with mine about my drinking as I didnt want to address it or admit it at that point. I think he might have said a couple of times when I was hungover "you know are going to kill yourself if you keep this up" but that was about it. He also hasnt really said much about the fact that I dont smoke and hardly drink anymore except that he misses hangover days.... Oh and when I said I am not drinking anymore (or any less!) he said oh well that's sex gone out the window. He did also recently mutter something about not getting that life insurance payout he was expecting....
But I am sure he cares deep down.... very very deep down....
BH

[cymru]

what did your significant other do....

My partner gave me the ultimatum. I either start looking at my problems and make an effort to START doing something about them, or she was leaving me. She had already left the house and moved in on her own, but had given me chance after chance and always come back after id binged for 3-4 days without talking to anyone.
She told me that she didnt want the worry of wondering if i was dead this time anymore and didnt talk to me or see me for a while. It was the wake up call i needed.

[Chelle12]

what did your significant other do....

Interesting thread..
I guess for me, it was when I found it 'natural' to hide how much I was drinking. I havent had a glass of wine in an actual wine glass for months.. always in tumblers (I can quickly put them in teh desk drawer if I hear him walking in).
He's pretty much found all my hiding places now... and chucks out any bottles he finds. A couple of weeks ago he heard me close the desk drawer as he walked in and put two and two together and said "what are you hiding there?" I just shrugged, and he opened the drawer, took out the glass without saying a word and went into the kitchen to pour it down the sink.
When he came back in he found me swigging the bottle instead... so grabbed that off me and poured that down the sink too.
I waited til he was in the bath, then popped across the road to get some more.
Expensive being an alcoholic, isnt it!

[bloggy]

what did your significant other do....

Mine has been very tolerant over the years.

It is awful though, when he goes to kiss me when I come in and I know he is checking to see if I have had a drink.