OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

[TakeHeart]

Hello, I know I have a serious drinking problem that is getting worse. I have resorted to "sneaking" drinks when my boyfriend takes a shower, runs to the market, etc. I live by myself, so when he's not around it's even worse. I also have my own business and I rent office space that I rarely use because I can also work from home AND drink while doing so (lovely, huh? My clients would be so proud!). I have tried quitting in the past and have even been on this site, however I have never been even remotely successful. I tried the supps, CD's, Topa, and read the book. I am completely broke right and would love to re-order supps and topa, but will have to do with the leftovers I have right now. My problem is getting started. I'm always going to start...tomorrow. This morning was the day. I had a half glass of wine I did not finish last night, went to the sink to dump it out...and dumped it down my throat instead. So much for today!! Now I am doing everything I can to not go buy another big bottle...I already screwed up today, so why not start tomorrow, right? The craving is overpowering. Did anyone else have such a hard start? I must get AF and get my life back on track. I have so many problems right now that drinking anesthetizes the reality of my life spiraling out of control. I wish I was as strong as some of you, but...Any advice and sorry for such a long post.

[cymru]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

I think the majority of us have been where you are right now heart. The problems that you are having in your life are not helped by the bottle. I would drink white wine till black out for 2-4 days to shut out the problems in my life, but when you finally wake its twice as bad as before and you just keep doing it to shut out the problems that are building every time you drink. Things are not going to get better while your getting plastered. Its time to face up to these things and do something about them. Start to like yourself again, get a clear head and you will be amazed how your life will change. Believe me, im on day 16 and never thought i could feel this good 16 days ago, downing pints of wine and hating myself.
You have to want to do this heart. Ive stopped for short periods before and its been a struggle, cause ive wanted to drink. You have to not want it anymore, want a better life. The drugs help alot, but there no is magic pill, its just as much your will to stop drinking.
Stay with us, post and read, make friends and start on a new path. Weve all been there heart, and we can all help eachother. Be strong.

[Seacailin]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Hi Takeheart
It is very difficult. You are not alone. I live with my two kids, who are in their 20's, and I sneak the alcohol too. It is just ridiculous and Sick!! I feel like crap because I drank 12 beers yesterday, and what am I thinking about?? Getting some AL. Sick Sick Sick. I have to agree with cymru: We have to want to stop drinking More than we want to drink. I know that I want to stop again. I did 40 days recently, and felt great, but I too keep putting it off.

[AAthlete]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

TakeHeart;411186 wrote: ... I already screwed up today, so why not start tomorrow, right?

TH, I know that you are hurting right now, but as this website proves stopping is possible. The first step would be to change your outlook. I quoted from your post because that really jumped out at me.... Think about it - would a normal person let 1/2 a glass of wine screw up their entire day? Of course not, but that is what we alcoholics (I use the term loosely as to not offend) do - we are perfectionists and if it isn't 100% well the dammit, I might as well not try.

For me, it was also an excuse... I screwed up today, so I might as well go drink and start over tomorrow. Of course the next day I would be so depressed that I would drink again just to feel better... But this time, only a couple...... Yeah, right...

You know, it is okay that you didn't make it. You can start again tomorrow and that is the beauty of this program. People will think no less of you because we've all been in the same boat. Also try to be a little easier on yourself - as a positive outlook is essential if you are to beat this thing. Believe me, very few people have shamed themselves into sobriety.

Keep reading, keep coming back, and don't ever stop trying.

[Evie.Lou]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

It comes down to REALLY,REALLY WANTING IT...I found every reason to wait for another time,another day..It was hell to get just one day.Now I have a safe guard...Antabuse...I don't take it regularly,only if I am tempted.That gives me time to rethink the drink..It is as close to a magic pill,that I have found...It will not LET me drink..

[bestlifeldms]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

I was the queen of "Try and Try Again!" You just have to keep trying and never give up. I finally had to stop playing games. I finally got serious! Stay with us. You can do this!

[TakeHeart]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR POSTS! You all have such great advice. You are so right, AAthlete! What kind of kooky thinking is it when I say to myself, "Well I had half a glass of wine! Might as well drink 2 bottles now!" I want so bad to be sober, but I have been drinking since I was 17 yrs old and have continued for a little more than 20 years. As bad as I want it, there is a part of me that doesn't because I am afraid life will be boring, will my friends still want to habg with me, etc. I am scared. I don't even know what it is like to live a life without AL. So as much as I want AND NEED to get sober, I am afraid. I'm afraid not to as well, but atleast AL dulls the pain. However, you are right CMYRU, drinking only makes it worse. Had a dream last night my family did an intervention. I asked my mom if she reallythought I had a problem and she said "Yes, for several years now. That is why we are taking you to rehab right now" Weird how things play out in our dreams. Thanks SO much again, everyone. And, I look forward to getting to know you all better...AND I am NOT going to go buy that big bottle of wine (even as I type this, the devil on my shoulder is saying,"Oh yeah!", but I AM NOT...go away you evil voice!!)

[boozehag]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Hi takeheart
I promise you all those things you think you can never do again will come in time and they will be so much better than you ever imagined if you can just get some AF time under your belt. Life is most definitely not boring without AL - it is a real life not one seen through the bottom of a bottle. It may have challenges but once you have a clear head it is much easier to deal with the challenges of life. That is just the AL talking you out of it. I suggest you do not have any AL in the house and do not buy any. Is it possible to make it difficult for you to get access to AL - maybe only get so much cash out of the bank that you need for the day and give your credit cards or whatever to someone else. That might just get you started and once you have a few days under your belt you might be motivated to keep going. THe l-glut does help with the cravings I found. In the meantime keep posting and join in one of the newbie threads - they will also help keep you on track.
BH

[TakeHeart]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Hello! Just wanted to say thanks again. Because of your support and words of wisdom I DID NOT go buy or drink anymore wine yesterday! I really have given a lot of thought to what you all said. So much so that it seems like longer than yesterday morning that I wrote that post.

AND, I can make it ONE day, because I did TODAY!!!

God willing I will tomorrow as well!

[boozehag]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Hi TK
That is just fantastic. Well done you. Maybe this is the time for you to get a new PLAN together and give it a new start now that you got your wits about you. It can be done and if you need some daily arse kicking there is a little irish leprechaun on the AF army thread that will keep you in line. Best of luck and keep us posted by posting!
BH

[cymru]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Well done heart. You will start feeling so much better real soon. Keep it up! Come join the AF army thread. Were having a party tdy, and the more people the merrier!

[gyco]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

hi T H,unbeleivable isnt it,what just a few words can say,as most hav said this is a day at a time job,i like a lot here hav quite months at a time,you made a 1st step just coming here and talking now your on your way,keep up the good job,trust me once the fog goes away,it is a fabulous way of life,som can even mod, good luck to you gyco

[beatle]

OMG~ Can't Even Seem To Make It One Day!

Good on you TakeHeart (as your name itself says)...

Lots of good advice here. Just wanted to add the kudzu helps very much with cravings, very much.

And if you do l-glut, do a lot (you should do at least 5 grams at a time to get a real effect).

MY FAVORITE: 1 True Calm (from this site) together with 1 GABA (from this site, 750mg)-- add a vitamin C, and you will get a nice wack to your brain, making you feel good, kind of buzzed without alcohol, and awake/alert and not wanting alcohol. (This should be done on an empty stomach.)


Keep posting!