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    #16
    Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

    Kriger, I cannot tell you how many times I waited by the phone until the early hours. worried sick, really sick. crying and calling my friends, as if there was something they could do. He has, in the past, left at 5:00pm to get gas and did not return until 3:00am. The agony is unbearable for the one who is not making this happen, but still has to deal with it. I am learning to put some distance between us when things happen. I am not always successful, but I am getting better at it. I am not sure how much longer I can do this, but I am hope everyday it will stop.

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      #17
      Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

      Oh Yes! On a usual night it is about 10-12 beers; on a day off twice that. Some days he mixes in wine or vodka-that's when he gets really drunk. I was doing the same until I stopped. K
      "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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        #18
        Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

        Waiting, Have you ever talked to your husband about rehab? Do you have ins coverage for that? I think for my husband that might be the best answer. K
        "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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          #19
          Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

          I never thought I would say this, but beer was not so bad after all. The Vodka is the real enemy today. Everybody tells me how I should take care of myself and learn "to let go". I know he is the only one who can make this happen (I hear that everyday), but I cannot stop myself from trying to help. He asks me not to give up.

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            #20
            Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

            Serious stuff, Kriger. This could be his last "wake up call". Someone has to help him to realize that if he doesn't. I know you can't Make him do anything. Oh, crap, I don't have any good advice--I'll say a prayer, ok?:h
            _______________
            NF since June 1, 2008
            AF since September 28, 2008
            DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
            _____________
            :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
            5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
            _______________
            The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

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              #21
              Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

              So sorry to hear about that Krig. I once stole mt FATHERS car when drunk, when they were on holiday, just to drive it to the end of the road and back(we lived in the country). It was a fast car, and i took it to the bottom of the road turned it round, drove back at a high speed and rolled it 3 times at the bottom of there drive. I was arrested and banned for 3 years, but it didnt stop me. I carried on and i was only in my early 20's. My father didnt speak to me for 2 years. I only stopped when i wanted too.
              Does he ever come on this site Krig? Would he if he doesnt? Sounds pretty bad. Thinking of you. x
              To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                #22
                Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                Kriger, this is awful. I have little to add to what everyone has said. I do think this: that trying to talk him into anything, or reason with him so that he "agrees" with you about his problem will not be effective. The only person whose behavior you can control is you; and the best way to possibly influence him is by your example, and your own behavior, for example by calmly telling him WHAT you are going to do, and then DOING it. For example: "if you go to rehab, and stay sober, then I will not leave you. If you do not, then I will."

                Much easier said, than done. I know. I've been there, too.

                wip

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                  #23
                  Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                  Thanks Gia, LVT, Cym,
                  Gia, I am about to cry here; your post was so sweet. Thanks for your concerns also, LVT; I DO hope for that "wake up" call.
                  Cym, He won't come to this site; he's not one who would sit in front of the computer except to read an occasional email. Before last night I would say he is really proud of my quitting but still wants his beer and cigs. It will be interesting to see how he feels after last night. I need to be very careful how I approach him or he will "shut down" on me. He is a difficult one to talk to when the suject matter is in any was perceived by him to be accusatory...I will try to tread lightly tonight. I need to figure out just what he really feels. If he starts to minimize this incident then I will be very very sad.
                  Kriger
                  "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                    #24
                    Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                    Thanks WIP,
                    Yes, you're right, I think some serious steps are in order and I need to get up the courage to actually take the steps and follow through. No idle threats allowed. I hate where I am right now-my mind is bursting with thoughts and all I want to do is run. Thank heavens-I won't run to AL, but I do want to escape the hurt of this situation. I will find a way to face my husband tonight-not fun stuff, but necessary. Krigs
                    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                      #25
                      Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                      Obviously I don't know your hubby, but I think the tread lightly plan is a good one. I'm not one to play games, but let him wonder what you might be thinking.....I know in my past I handled some situations terribly (had anger issues). It's way more effective to be quiet and let people figure some things out for themselves. I would agree that if he doesn't see this as an opportunity to get help, it would be very sad.
                      I'm thinking of you! :l

                      Like others, been there done that---then I became one!
                      _______________
                      NF since June 1, 2008
                      AF since September 28, 2008
                      DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                      _____________
                      :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                      5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                      _______________
                      The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                        I dont know if im sounding harsh, and i dont know your personal life(other than your a lovely person) but could it be time to just come out and tell him how you feel. I know that when i stopped it was me who wanted to, but a big part of it was my long term girlfriend moving out of our house and telling me that she would only start to listen when she could see that id made the effort to start to deal with my problems, or to at least admit them. My mother told me that i was going to lose everyone if i didnt do something about it. It was a huge wake up call to me, and i realized that i wasnt going to get away with it anymore, and that in a week eveything wasnt going to go back to normal, including my binges.
                        I know we are all different and have different forms of alcoholism, but it was the shock to the system i needed. All my love Krigs x
                        To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                          #27
                          Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                          Thanks, LVT, CYM and O2M,
                          Thanks for all your ideas. I think I have to play it by ear; I want to know what happened and what his intentions are but to get him to spill is the delicate part. I think you're right Gia, tomorrow might be a better day if he spends all day in bed today. I've got to diffuse the anger too. I can say this, I am glad I am sober; I would be a crying mess and totally unable to deal 46 days ago. I would likely have started drinking this am and be totally drunk by now, so for that I thank you all!!! Kriger
                          "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                            #28
                            Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                            I will, Gia. Thanks. k
                            "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                              #29
                              Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                              Thanks O2M
                              What a shitty day this is! I'm going home for lunch and I may have to see him (if he stayed home from work)! I am shaking a bit and I am developing a headache. I'll let you know what happens; it might be past bedtime for you O2M when I get backfrom lunch- It'll be 10:30p your time, I believe. Love, Kriger
                              "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

                              Comment

                                #30
                                Drunk Husband Wrecked the Car!

                                Saying a prayer and thinking of you Krigs. Ill be here and im sure o2m will be too. Remember, were all with you.x
                                To Infinity And Beyond!!

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