AF Army September 19 08

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

Hate Hate Hate F__kin' Heroin!!!

[hippie37]

AF Army September 19 08

Right Sea! gptta say something! Heroin is fucking wank and a shit drug if you choose to abuse it. I didn't and used it along side many other drugs in a cocktail as it where. We the English public were made to feel this was the worst drug on the planet, that it would cause Aids disease and all kinds of emotional problems. I was shit scared of the drug because of that campaign. It showed a guy living in a cave away from all his friends and society etc covered in spots looking white as a sheet and bulging eyes etc. This is probably the advert they would re-run on Bristish Screens taling about Skunk weed. It's dangerous because its 20 times stronger than normal weed etc etc. Mental health problems etc etc...I am telling you know....The goverment PUTS that weed and smack on the streets in the first place to cause commotion.... YES I know I'm not stupid here I've had 100% columbian etc that has nothing to do with this etc. watch Bruce Parry - AMAZON next week. He was chewing coca leaves etc and in the heart of the Peruvian rainforests watching these people make these drugs. Western society has NO fuckn clue what goes on over there. unless your a supplier.

I'm not tryinhg to make out that drugs are good or even bad...BUT. Don't believe everything they tell ya on te NEWS. Sea pm me!

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

My sis, my daughter and I are going to try and come to Ireland next year. We supposedly have family in Athelone. It is being researched. Are you anywhere near there? I can't wait!!! I would so love a meet up.

[hippie37]

AF Army September 19 08

Wherever it is we will meet UP OK?

[hippie37]

AF Army September 19 08

I'm dying to get to Ireland because it's the one place I ain't been to in the British Isles. Not only that I would love to meet the 2 L's

[hippie37]

AF Army September 19 08

That's what I said in the first place.........THE 2 L's

[cymru]

AF Army September 19 08

That would be great. We should def all meet up at some point. Maybe bring the kids over too. Where is limers tnt?

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

So what time is it on that side of the pond? It is 4:30pm here. I am planning to go to a meeting at 8:30 pm. Check this out. I told you guys about the woman that I drive to meetings. Put this under reasons not to drink. We had a 15 minute conversation late yesterday afternoon. Two hours later, she started calling me. She left me 6 voicemails. She had completely forgotten our conversation that had taken place 2 hours before. I really fear for this woman.

[bloggy]

AF Army September 19 08

Hi Guys

I am soo sooo sorry I did not log in for a few days- to the point that I have received PMs wondering where I am.

Not good! Thank you all for your concern- have had a few dogdy days.

O2M- Congratulations on your 30 days! I know you don't like counting, but 30 is really awesome! I hope you are very very proud!

Evielou and New Day- Happy Birthday! Cy it was awesome of you to bake those cakes!

Lots of posts to catch up on- I will make my excuses quickly because I have to leave to pick a friend up from the airport in 10 mins- then I will log in properly fro Requiem tomorrow.

Well needless to say- I have slipped. I dont really think that is the word- now I go over the events leading up to drinking 5 beers- I think I must admit it was planned- albeit subconciously.

I went to a funeral on Wednesday- the lady who died is a friend's mum who was alcoholic- she was 68.

I had taken half an antebuse 4 days before so I knew I could probably drink- so lets face it if I hadn't of been planning it I would have just taken another tablet. I do now agree with others on the AB thread- for it to work properly you really do have to take a tab every day- else you just leave yourself open to slips.

Anyway to cut a long story short I ordered an AF beer in the bar we went to after the service- saw lots of people I had not seen for a long time (all big drinkers), and my second drink was a beer- no excuse really- I obviously should not have gone to the bar afterwards- it was obvious where it was going to lead.

I spent the whole of yesterday absolutely gutted with myself- I ended up have 5 bottles of beer (5.4 proof) and had a hangover to top.

Today I've been fine but have had to catch up on the jobs I should have done over the last 2 days- I am supposed to be preparing the shop, and have so much to do down there- I can't tell you all how disappointed I feel.

I just cannot keep slipping- everytime I do it I feel worse. To make matters worse I only have a few antabuse left- poor Chelle is still waiting for hers as the company do not have any in stock at the moment, and they are so expensive elsewhere I have put of ordering hoping hers arrive soon, then I will put an order in.
(I will email them tomorrow Chelle).

So that's it I am afraid. I am glad everyone else is hanging on in there- I suppose I will feel a bit more cheerful again tomorrow.

Have to run- am already late-
MXX

[cymru]

AF Army September 19 08

Thats awfull sea. Your so caring to still 'care' Lots would give up. Its 9.40 p.m here and usa are beating europe 3-1, but i rekon they could come level by the end of tnts play!

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

I will never give up on a fellow alcoholic who is still breathing as long as it does not jeopardize my sobriety. We went to meeting together on Wednesday night. She consistently tries to get me to leave at the break. This time I refused, and I will continue to do so.

[cymru]

AF Army September 19 08

so good to hear from you Marbs. Glad your safe. A slip is a slip. It was a small one. You didnt break anything. Dust yourself down and jump back on board. Weve missed you and the crazy dog!!

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

Chronic caretaker, Geez....I wonder if that's why I became a Nurse.lol. It used to take the focus off of my behavior.lol. Now I just want to help others who are like me.

[cymru]

AF Army September 19 08

Its something that i would like to do if i can string a number of years alcohol free together. I think the recovering(i dont think your ever cured) alcoholic can help those who have hit rock bottom and are reaching out for help. Doctors can help through what they have learnt, read and seen, but i feel its only people who have been to that dark place who truely understand the 'disease' we suffer from.

[Seacailin]

AF Army September 19 08

Had to take off for a bit a talk with my daughter. I am back now and lost I am sure. lol
Just a day reasons not to drink. I am writing a letter to a friend of mine who is in the county jail because he got in to a drunken fight with his BIL.