AF Army 21st September 2008

[hippie37]

AF Army 21st September 2008

My ex has been fckn with my head no end this week-end over me seeing Jasmine. I was just beginning to think she was actually being sensible for once over me seeing Jasmine and allowing my week-ends back. Today she has just rang me and said Jas is off colour (whatever that means in her book!!) and it would be best if I go down there for a few hours and see her. I need time alone with her and not like I'm under supervised frickin visits!!. She's just a lazy cow and can't be arsed bringing her up to me. I know her too damn well. Well it looks like I'm gonna be going to see a solicitor this week. Been talking about it with dolphin a lot recently and I think the time has finally come to say NO MORE!. It's all about control with her and boy does she know she's got it because of my drinking. She thinks she can use my drinking against me at every given opportunity where Jas is concerned. I've never put that child in danger EVER.

Sorry recruits but needed to vent that otherwise I'm liable to get really pissed off and say something to her later that I'll regret.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[hippie37]

AF Army 21st September 2008

I actually went up to CAB last Monday after talking with dolph about it but it was absolutely chokka and I didn't feel like sitting waiting for hours. I thought I'd put it on the back burner and see how things progressed over the coming weeks. It's just gone on for far too long now one without me having any 'proper' legal access. She could totally go back on her word over the week-ends if she wants to. The annyoing thing is as well I was just exlpaining to Gia the other day how good a relationship I thought my ex and I had over all this. We've been quite flexible for too long I think and I think it is starting to get to me now. I need something in writing (for all the good it will do me!!).

Anyway Have a good day troops wherever you are and whatever you're doing this afternoon. BE GOOD! I'll be biting my bottom lip for most of the afternoon so if you see any dribbles of blood on your screens later on don't worry it's just me. I'll have bitten my lip completely off no doubt!! AAARRRGGHGHGHH!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Hipps..i can relate to what your saying so much(are we related bro!). When Erins mum and i first split up, my life was hell. Had the soliciters letters, the 'Erins not well', were going out today lines. She was very bitter. I had ruined our relationship with my drinking, and firstly i dont think she fully trusted me and secondly she wanted to punish me for what i had put her through. I could understand it to a certain extent, but she took it as far as she could. I have always paid my maintinance on time(and not through the csa) and it really got to me. When i gave up the booze, things slowly started to get better, she found a new partner(i was single for 5 years!) had another child and now we get on great. I can see erin whenever i want and her other daughter also comes over for the day. I think alot of it is that she trusts me now, and even though my drinking has got out of hand over the last 2 years, its been at home and not in view of the public for most part and ive always been sober(except for the london disaster!) when ive had her and made her paramount in my life.
With regards to the soliciter, my parents good friend was a soliciter, and told me that i would be far better off trying to come to a compromise with the mother between ourselves, maybe with family members present, cause 1. I was/had been a big drinker and there were witnesses that would confess to that. 2. That 'mum' has all the cards, because of those bastard fathers who want nothing to do with there children, pay nothing and leave them to bring them up by themselves. He said the best i could hope for would be supervised visits for the first year. Plus, it would cost me a fortune.
Would be great to meet up for a coffee one day hipps and have a good chat.

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Oh KP, Hipps, I am SO sorry to hear you are both having problems.
I can imagine what you must be feeling like but I havent got children of my own so it is probably a million times worse than my imagination. All I can do is send you massive cyber hugs and pray that things get better soon for you.

KP you can bet your bottom dollar that GF is insecure. I know with Rich that often he likes to be included with "whats happening on the forum" as I spend SO much time here and say things that I probably wouldnt say to him. It has got easier over time because he can see the person i am becoming and understands that I need help from all of you to be that person. But one thing he said early on in my recovery that really broke my heart was "he felt like a bad husband because he couldnt make everything better with my drinking and my depression"
Its a learning curve for all of us.

Big hugs and positve vibes are being sent to both of you.

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Thnk you starting. wise words as always x

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

For Hipps!!!:

[ame=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BhAzW7AM-38]YouTube - Jay-Z - 99 Problems (Explicit)[/ame]

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Hipps and Cy, I am so sorry you are going through some painful stuff with gfs, ex's, and your kids. I do think that the advice Cy got is good (sad but true); at least in the USA, the legal system really is very poor at regulating this kind of dispute. It costs a fortune to try to get your rights enforced, it takes forever, and it is too easy for the ex-spouse to thwart any rulings that you do manage to get. One alternative that is becoming popular over here is for both parties to engage in arbitration. That can be very helpful. You might check it out, Hipps.

Cy, I agree with all the above about gf's insecurity. I imagine that she feels as if MWO has taken on a role in your life that she would like to have, and that it has become so important to you that it is a rival, to her. Since she doesn't have an alcohol problem, likely she just doesn't know how hard it is to get over it. You might explain to her that most people with a severe problem simply cannot get better without engaging in some very time-consuming treatment, such as (for some) 30 days inpatient in a facility (often, doing that more than once!); and any kind of recovery will take some time away from her, and will involve the need for contact with and support from others, such as you have found in MWO. The time it seems to take away from her is nothing compared to what the alcohol took away from her! I don't know... you may have already done that and it may very well not help at all. For those who don't understand how hard this is... there is no way to tell them.

For your back pain: how about cranberry juice? Very good for the urinary tract, maybe helpful for the kidneys, as well.

NoneTwo it sounds as if everyone is feeling better in your house? Including you? I hope so.

Cute pictures StartingO!! Good job! How did you manage to re-size that one? I can't do that.

Marbella, watch those triggers, hon!

I got my new camera traded in for one that isn't damaged... will go out and play with it today. Will post any good results!

wip

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

This is my pride and joy and we have just been for a spin (and it is after 12....that would never have happened before ))

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Hi Wipster, pic just uploaded as "large"

O2M still snotty? get the vit C down you girl!

[vlad]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Nice car, this is mine...

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

She is my precious baby One 2 and she goes like shite off a shovel )

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Nice alloys vladster. Diesel or petrol?

[vlad]

AF Army 21st September 2008

startingover;418125 wrote: Nice alloys vladster. Diesel or petrol?

1.9 Turbo Diesel - 130bhp! Damn quick for a little car. Show's people who still think Skodas are crap what for!

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Nice one vlads. Hubby wants a skoda superb when they bring the estate out this year. I understand that the 130bhp can be chipped to 170!

[vlad]

AF Army 21st September 2008

This was my previous car: