AF Army 21st September 2008

[hippie37]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Listen troops, can I say something.

I think at some point we have all been or are still on some kind of 'medication'. I was seriously 'fooled' into thinking I was depressed because of the drink. What made me depressed was my 'actions' from the fall-out of the drink. Don't become too heavy thinking that because you have a drinking problem that you're depressed too. In a lot of cases like mine it was my mind set (because of the drink) that made me feel that way. I'm not trying to get into a whole debate about alcoholism and depression but give yourselves some time to truly understand what alcohol can do to your brain in such a short space of time. My last slip I wanted to sign myself into the nut house to be honest. But purely because I felt I couldn't cope anymore with life. The alcohol made me think that way. I may still be stuck there now if i took that road and made that decision. I would not be able to get pissed off today about not seeing my daughter properly because I would be stuck with electrodes in my head or fighting the 'very reason I signed in in the first place' without much look because of my initial mental alcoholic thoughts. I was Jeckyll & Hyde but I now for a fact I'm not 'unstable' apart from when I drink.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[bloggy]

AF Army 21st September 2008

hippie37;418421 wrote: Listen troops, can I say something.
I was Jeckyll & Hyde but I now for a fact I'm not 'unstable' apart from when I drink.


xx

I agree entirely- I have been given some AD years ago, but only took a few- and the truth is if I dont drink, or indeed drink moderately, i am a fair normal cheerful sort of person- but after a bad drunk I feel suicidal.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Back home from bike ride, nothing really to photograph that caught my eye, but it felt good to be out in this pretty day, getting some exercise.

Good for you Kriger but I'm sorry you went through such a difficult time. As to meds and supplements... I just don't know. I started out here 2 months ago with ALL the supps, and I ordered the Topa. Never ended up taking the Topa (it took 3 weeks to get here, and by then, I was doing fine). I started cutting back on the supps after about 5 or 6 weeks AF, because they were SO expensive, and I was still doing fine, and I wasn't convinced they were really doing much of anything. I am on the look-out, however, for any changes in my thinking about alcohol, or strong urges/cravings/impulses (I believe they are all the same thing). If any of that starts happening, I will be heading quickly for the place where I get all those supps.

Cooking some soup for lunch, then I will go make a quick visit and check-up with my mother. Dreading it, of course. But it will be quick, then I can have the rest of the day/evening to relax a bit. Back on the work treadmill big-time tomorrow, I have let a lot of things slide during all this mother-related stuff.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Hipps and Marbs: just saw your posts, and I agree wholeheartedly. Much of what we identify as "depression" can be traced back to conditions that we truly have some choice over, like drinking and drugging and losing touch with the things that make our lives satisfying, meaningful, and (at least somewhat) pleasurable. And I am not saying that this kind of experience of "depression" is NOT something that occurs within the brain, related in part to neurotransmitters, etc.; that is true, too. But the important point is that we can influence all of that, to some extent at least, by the choices we make in life.

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

I def feel a hell of alot worse after a big binge for a couple of days. As marbs said i feel suicidal after drinking non stop for a couple of days

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army 21st September 2008

cymru;418436 wrote: I def feel a hell of alot worse after a big binge for a couple of days. As marbs said i feel suicidal after drinking non stop for a couple of days

Me too, Cy. That's why I absolutely HAD to stop. My father actually did commit suicide. My drinking was getting to the point that it was resembling his pattern. Scared the shit out of me... finally!

A lot of alcoholics do destroy their lives with alcohol, and then end their lives, with suicide. I do not want to be among them, nor any of my friends here!

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Totally agree with the drink causing the depression. Trouble is now I have been taking them for so long I am scared to stop, scared that if I stop i will drink again. I know its probably irrational but that is how I think, wish i didnt.

And now I have just got back from my mums and she is having trouble breathing again. She had lung, breast and adrenal cancer last year and had half her lung removed at the beginning of this year along with her breast and one adrenal gland Always scares the shit out of me when she's feeling poorly

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

one2many;418442 wrote: Am I wrong in thinking there are some "happy foods" that can be eaten to combat depression??

I agree with what Hipps, WIP and Marbs are saying but I do think there are sometimes when depression just sets in, I had post natel depression after Adam quite badly and I wasn't drinking at all, was too far gone for even that!!!

I think boss man wrote about the Seratonin Power diet that supposed to help

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

one2many;418445 wrote: Awwhhh Starting....your poor Mum, sounds like she has been thru the mill, will get the kids to light the Angel candle here for her.

Oh thank you one 2 and thank your little angels for me please.

[bloggy]

AF Army 21st September 2008

I have followed it for about four days O2M- trouble is it is a bit difficult to adapt for a vegetarian/raw food diet- I am not a raw foodist but try to eat at least 50% raw, but the days I did follow it, (more or less) I certainly felt my moods were very stable.

I did not buy the book, just gleaned what I could from bosses' post and the net- it might actually be worth buying.

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Little sweethearts. They bought a smile to my miserable gob )

[bloggy]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Your mum must be such a strong lady to have gone through all that Starting.

A prayer for her from here, too.

[startingover]

AF Army 21st September 2008

marbella;418453 wrote: Your mum must be such a strong lady to have gone through all that Starting.

A prayer for her from here, too.

Thanks marbs, she is one tough cookie. Trouble is she is 73 and she wont last forever I keep wondering if this is it. I know thats bad, but the amount of cancer she has had is like waiting for a timebomb to go off.

Prayers are great though, thank you hun

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

Sorry to hear about the bad news starting. Thinking of you here in Wales.

[cymru]

AF Army 21st September 2008

ive got some classics somewhere. Cant find the memory card there all on though!