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    #1

    I can't believe this

    Had a total AF day yesterday. Didn't do bad saturday either, a lot less than normal. My incentive was two interviews today with recruitment agencies who have forwarded me for roles.

    Did a shop in the low cost supermarket this evening and picked up a low alcohol bottle of white. By low alcohol it was 11% which I think is mild. I was doing great. Had one glass over an entire hour, then went for a top up and a cigarette, then another top up, then finished the bottle and now have opened a bottle of red that's not even mine. Damn this illness. I can't stop it and I felt so sorted all day.. so together, so positive
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    #2
    I can't believe this

    That's just wonderful,Juley...You are on your way to a new future where you can call the shots,not alcohol...Everyday it gets better and better.You will find plenty of support here so stay close...OK??
    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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      #3
      I can't believe this

      just do your best .. stay strong and think positive
      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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        #4
        I can't believe this

        Just get right back on that horse when you are ready Jule. You are here and talking about it, so that is a positive step. You Can Do it. Stay close by and let us know how u are doing. Don't beat yourself up. It really does not help.:l
        "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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          #5
          I can't believe this

          I think I have decided I'm on my way. I posted my REAL story a moment ago. I so want to be rid of this poison. I mean that.

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            #6
            I can't believe this

            Btw guys. The encouragement here is great. I was afraid I'd hear 'Oh you shouldn't have' or 'what were you thinking'.

            You are all so understanding, it's so encouraging.

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              #7
              I can't believe this

              NO JUDGEMENT FROM THIS PLACE.YOU ARE SAFE TO SPEAK YOUR MIND AND TELL YOUR TRUTH...YOUR OFF TO A GOOD START AND HAVE A POSITIVE OUT LOOK.WE CAN BEAT THE BEAST TOGETHER.
              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                #8
                I can't believe this

                Hi Juley
                Tried to say hello to you in chat but no response. i dont know if this is any help to you but I had to give up smoking to give up drinking. I found that the smoking made me drink more - with the double hit of dopamine to the brain from the AL and the Nicotene was like rocket fuel. I found smoking when drinking just made me drink more. Now I dont smoke as I gave up when I joined MWO so now I hardly drink at all as there is no urge to binge drink (everything within a 10km radius) without the nicotene fuelling the binge. Just an observation...from my personal experience.
                BH

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                  #9
                  I can't believe this

                  Thanks BH,

                  I saw your message from chat but you were gone before I got back.

                  I don't smoke anymore unless I drink. I'm not addicted to nicotine but as you said the two go hand in hand. I will rarely drink without smoking. But if I don't drink I never smoke.. weird...
                  I guess I know then if I can give up drink, I'll also give up smoking. I'm not a heavy smoker. I can honestly say lately I have at most 40 a week. That's less than 10 a day. And again only with drink. I worry more about the drink, because honestly... I'm about to have a cigarette and will want to follow it with another large sup of wine.. damn this. I mean it.. damn this..

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                    #10
                    I can't believe this

                    Juley, no one judges you. We've done what you do. The hiding and sneaking around takes up so much of our time! Keep trying, even if you have to start over every day. People here know you, without knowing you, and we want you to be well. Post anytime, even when you're using. That's what this board is for. Peace and love, baby.
                    sigpic
                    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                      #11
                      I can't believe this

                      thanks rubywillow. I know it's somebit positive being here when I've done this immediately. I normally come on following day or after a massive binge. I know despite what I'm doing right now I want different.. if that makes any sense

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                        #12
                        I can't believe this

                        Juley, I just read your story. It sounds like you are ready. Never be afraid to share whatever it is. Stay strong....you CAN do this
                        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                          #13
                          I can't believe this

                          Hi Juley , dropping kids off to school now and then im going to read your story. Looking foreword to getting to know you .

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                            #14
                            I can't believe this

                            Hope tdy is a positive start for you Juley. Keep posting and chatting.
                            To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                              #15
                              I can't believe this

                              my dear juley dont be hard on yourself everything takes time you do have a lot of baggage gyco keep talking

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