Best of intentions

[gatorgirl]

Found this website in July got very excited, started most of the supps,got the book, even David Carr's, can't afford cd's yet. outed myself to family and Dr. Had complete blood workup unbelielably liver enzymes ok, mild high BP and Cholestral all due to my sugar intake with alcohol (i don't eat sweets). Started eating healthier. breakfast(never did before) with a nutrional drink, at least 4 bottles of water a day. Started a new job to keep me out of the house until after happy hour which guess what just started later. Seem to be doing so much right but cannot stop the habit of walking in the door and making a drink--vodka the demon of all spirits. Live in a very rural area with nothing to do, no book store,red light --nothing but idiotic obese rednecks (i'm southern by birth). Even started exercising for the first time in my life, live down a rocky dirt road so walking is not good. I still cannot stop the habit and I think that's it, not even I crave it so much but am so lonely and bored. Am also a smoker and want to stop that thinking about Chantix but am scared, just rambling but don't know what else to do. Got temp. laid off due to f------ gas crisis,just feel stuck,don't know what else to do. Thanx for listening.

[Boss.man]

Best of intentions

Welcome Gator!

You are doing great. Just keep that in mind.

This process is not a button, or a book, or a simple fix. You know that!

So post here often, and learn, as we all have done. Some make it look easy, and others like myself tend to struggle with ups and downs.

There is no question, this economy causes huge new issues we never had before. I own a business, and have stock investments. So I spent this week and today checking my business banking and payroll accounts, to be sure they were secure. I cashed out a number of stock investments today at a cryable loss. I just got too afraid of a possible Monday meltdown should Congress betray us. Then my Mom calls me (after market closed) and says Cramer says Dow 8800 if bailout fails, and maybe if it succeeds. Yuh right, another 30% meltdown. Just what I need.

In my my personal bank, WaMu, I'm storing enough money to pay my property tax, house insurance and car insurance (Yes, for me October is a triple whammy). WaMu was declared insolvent by the FDIC at 5pm Pacific time last night, Auctioned, purchased and reopened this morning as JPMorgan Chase. In less than 10 minutes yesterday my precious savings needed to pay annual huge bills passed from the most shaky bank in the US, to the most Chinese owned bank in the US. Wow.

All this, while I'm trying to be AL free.

What did you guys think I used AL for? It's to keep me from going BONKERS when this stuff happens.

Welcome welcome. If you grow half as much as I have given the people on this forum, you will do well and conquer all your demons. There may not be a button or a pill, but there is a process, and this forum is a parade of people engaged in the process. Learn and share.

[gatorgirl]

Best of intentions

Thank you for your kind words. I know there's many with pressing problems esp. with our economy (how did it happen and so fast --Greed by many I know). I'm single and the silence can be unbearable. I can't even find a yoga class in this place. Just want a life, just don't know how to get it back. But you're right it could be worse, didn't happen overnight not gonna get fixed today.

[A Work in Progress]

Best of intentions

gatorgirl, have you considered getting the alcohol out of your house? You are doing so many of the right things, but it seems that you are going to need an alcohol-free home in order to begin de-activating that one VERY big habit (the drink(s) when you get home from work). As for "nothing to do," consider getting creative about it... literally. Writing, photography, knitting, painting... you can do any of that, anywhere... Learn a new language, learn to play chess... You have to make some changes, and they will all feel like going uphill, against the tide... because they are. But it's worth it.

best wishes,

wip

[WaitingToExhale]

Best of intentions

Hey gator!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wondered where you went off to !!!!!

I'll tell ya what ya do, pick that damn phone up and call me again .. I love to hear your voice!

I survived Vegas, and got started on my cutting back September 6th. Not been an angel but I'm doing pretty good and better than I thought I would be. PM if you've lost my number. "Ive got yours here some where on my desk **tossing papers aside, cat goes flying, its here somewhere!**

WTE

[Boss.man]

Best of intentions

Gatorgirl I have a question.

If you could have one thing totally change in your life right now, what would it be?

You raised the issues of loneliness, alcohol, job, and smoking.

Think of it as a list. Which issue would be on top?

[gatorgirl]

Best of intentions

To be in love and share myself with, not nec. marriage, one of the most basic needs of humans is to be loved. I think I could conquer all. I'm to old (in my mind or body) to start a demanding career, just want to be special to someone and have wonderful sex.

[IAD]

Best of intentions

Gator girl......you ever think of moving ? Maybe a new location would help . I live in the Baltimore/Washington Area...most of the people here are from somewhere else ! Sometimes you have to make that move.....go where the work is. Their 1,000's of people that come to work in this area from West VA and Penn. everyday. That's cause this is where the work is. Just a thought....IAD.

[WaitingToExhale]

Best of intentions

Gater, I hear you. But we both know, we're both going to continue to "blow it" until we get our acts together. At least that's how I feel about me. You know my story. It was not a direct "I'm leaving because you are a drunk" ... but I know for CERTAIN I would not have been kicked to the curb like that on that day if I had not been drinking, in the morning, and way too much, and reacted the way I did.

They are waiting for us gator. You are one hell of a neat lady and I know that from the dynamics in your voice. We just have to sort this issue out to be able to make some good choices and decisions, and they will come. I beleive that, for both of us. Really I do.

I got really deep in depression over him and feeling sad for myself and losing him and I have to tell I was making it ten times worse with the booze. Right through my birthday in Vegas. Once I started cutting back, little by little, the depression got so much better. I've even gone out on a few dates. (they turned out to be frogs, but what the hell, they thought I was cute so it was good for the ego LOL)

Baby steps chickie. Remember we talked about that. And dammit, you're my buddy in this so get your arse in gear here!

Hugs

[gatorgirl]

Best of intentions

moved to this area last nov. to be close to my grandsons,which has been great but quite a culture shock. jobs are scarce and so is entertainment even a movie. financially impossible now also. wouldn't know how to start over at my age (54) without knowing anyone. will get better, just have to find my way. thanks for the advice though.

[A Work in Progress]

Best of intentions

GG... did you think about the question of having the alcohol in the house?