I finally found my old fart post as several of you like to call it. I re-read it and it brought back loads of memories of what I went through sobering up with MWO. It is ironic to read it now as I had a set back over the summer and I am hauling my arse and my MWO tools out to get myself back on track. As I re-read this a couple of things came to mind:
1. It is not as hard this time to get back on track as I am not nearly as bad off as I was then. NOT EVEN CLOSE!
2. I now have the tools available and ready to go at a moments notice when I do fall behind.
I am so grateful to MWO people and RJ for making my New Year's resolution in January of 2008 a possibility. I will never forget January 18, 2008 when I discovered MWO. And I am so grateful that when I need you again in my life you are all still here for me.
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The old fart thread (Feb 5, 2008): Bad Gas and Good Dreams
As I lay there trying to relax on my escalator (listening to my hypno CD), I noticed that my stomach is starting to bloat again. This happened to me once before a couple of days after I started taking the supplements, but I had hoped it was just a one time thing as my body got used to all the new powder I am now ingesting. Apparently this is going to be a weekly visitor. Great.
Some of the side effects of sobering up have been very interesting. This one is just plain awful. My stomach gets very round and hard. It reminds me of being pregnant and I can almost feel the baby move. I swear I am going to get stretch marks I am so bloated. If I poke it with a pin it would pop and my body would shoot all over the room in random directions until spent of its wicked gas and laying in a pile in the corner. Instead I rub it making wishes.
I really feel for my husband, because along with the bloating comes the gas. I lay there percolating under the covers hoping the smell will not wake him. At this point I am guessing he is dreaming that he is a zookeeper.
The side effects have really been taking a toll.
As my husband lay dreaming of cleaning out the hippopotamus exhibit I roll over and enjoy my dream. I am in an open-aired cottage on the beach. The ocean laps against the deck while the breeze moves the gauze curtains that form the walls of the room. I am on a bed and am no longer bloated. Instead my skin is even-toned and smooth. My cheeks are blushed and my hair cascades down my back in soft curls. Luxurious sheets drape around my naked body. Johnny Depp and I are making sweet, passionate love. I am not sure whether it is the supplements, the topo or the hypnosis, but I think I will stay on the MWO program a little while longer.
I really hope our marriage survives me becoming sober, because it is starting to take its toll. The grouchiness has set in now and I have become co-dependent. I am usually very independent, but now he has become a crutch, along with all the others, that help me not drink. When he is in the house he acts like my conscience, a force reminding me that I should not drink and good things will be in my future. But when he leaves all hell breaks loose. No one is here. No one will know. No one is watching. Apparently my own conscience has no shame.
Co-dependence, the shakes, smells are different and even food tastes different. And I am so tired. All I want to do all day at work is go home and sleep. As I lay on my bed trying to get back into the hypnosis thing I start to second guess all the pills I am taking. Is this really a good choice for my body?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. It is not as hard this time to get back on track as I am not nearly as bad off as I was then. NOT EVEN CLOSE!
2. I now have the tools available and ready to go at a moments notice when I do fall behind.
I am so grateful to MWO people and RJ for making my New Year's resolution in January of 2008 a possibility. I will never forget January 18, 2008 when I discovered MWO. And I am so grateful that when I need you again in my life you are all still here for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The old fart thread (Feb 5, 2008): Bad Gas and Good Dreams
As I lay there trying to relax on my escalator (listening to my hypno CD), I noticed that my stomach is starting to bloat again. This happened to me once before a couple of days after I started taking the supplements, but I had hoped it was just a one time thing as my body got used to all the new powder I am now ingesting. Apparently this is going to be a weekly visitor. Great.
Some of the side effects of sobering up have been very interesting. This one is just plain awful. My stomach gets very round and hard. It reminds me of being pregnant and I can almost feel the baby move. I swear I am going to get stretch marks I am so bloated. If I poke it with a pin it would pop and my body would shoot all over the room in random directions until spent of its wicked gas and laying in a pile in the corner. Instead I rub it making wishes.
I really feel for my husband, because along with the bloating comes the gas. I lay there percolating under the covers hoping the smell will not wake him. At this point I am guessing he is dreaming that he is a zookeeper.
The side effects have really been taking a toll.
As my husband lay dreaming of cleaning out the hippopotamus exhibit I roll over and enjoy my dream. I am in an open-aired cottage on the beach. The ocean laps against the deck while the breeze moves the gauze curtains that form the walls of the room. I am on a bed and am no longer bloated. Instead my skin is even-toned and smooth. My cheeks are blushed and my hair cascades down my back in soft curls. Luxurious sheets drape around my naked body. Johnny Depp and I are making sweet, passionate love. I am not sure whether it is the supplements, the topo or the hypnosis, but I think I will stay on the MWO program a little while longer.
I really hope our marriage survives me becoming sober, because it is starting to take its toll. The grouchiness has set in now and I have become co-dependent. I am usually very independent, but now he has become a crutch, along with all the others, that help me not drink. When he is in the house he acts like my conscience, a force reminding me that I should not drink and good things will be in my future. But when he leaves all hell breaks loose. No one is here. No one will know. No one is watching. Apparently my own conscience has no shame.
Co-dependence, the shakes, smells are different and even food tastes different. And I am so tired. All I want to do all day at work is go home and sleep. As I lay on my bed trying to get back into the hypnosis thing I start to second guess all the pills I am taking. Is this really a good choice for my body?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IAD. Ha!
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