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    #1

    My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

    My beautiful daughter is struggling so much at school and I am fearful that I could make the wrong decision and potentially destroy her.

    She is 8 and the school want her to stay in Grade 2 for another year. She is bright but has very specific sequencing and processing issues. We had her assessed earlier in the year for dyslexia ? which she doesn?t have ? but it did reveal her sensory sensitivity. She needs to wear earplugs in class as her auditory system is constantly bombarded with noise, from the hum of lights to the ?shushhing? noise of someone fidgeting. Her visual sensitivity is manifested when there is too much happening on a page ? she can?t work out where to begin as everything is vying for her attention at the same time. We brush her skin 3 times a day to gently de-sensitise her as this has an impact on her emotional system. She is a very gentle soul and would never think twice about giving you her last cookie if you asked for it.

    If she stays in Grade 2 her self-esteem will take a beating, but if we push her up to Grade 3 she will suffer increased anxiety due to the work load and will have to take on additional tuition to support her.

    If anyone has had experience in this area, or just plain old advice, I am all ears.

    Thanks

    Take care

    xxx
    The mind is in its own place, and in itself
    Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

    John Milton
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    #2
    My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

    Jinja,
    We are currently going through a similar thing however our daughter is in grade 1 and 6 years old. Our Kindergarten teacher ( pre school ) advised us that she wasnt ready to start prep but our financial situation and work arrangements made us pray she was. Her child care people did not concurr with the Kinndy teachers view and said she was ready to start school and keep her in kindy one more year was not necessary. In the end we were so confused and our financial situation dictated the day ie "we will start her in school". Shes doing great at a reading and writing/numeracy level but as our kindy teacher said she doesnt have the social play/ maturity skills. She is very shy and has difficulty in joining in to boot and to make us feel even more guilt her teacher has said she is wetting her self quite often. She is so tall she looks like a 8 year old and the other kids have been teasing her. Any way we are seeking a re assessment from the ed department educationlist her current teacher has rep for being mean. My partener wants to put her in another school but we have been advised this causes more trouble. Keeping her down for me is not a option she has freinds and they will start to wonder . Its a great school and the teachers are the salt of the earth!!!! Dont ever underestimate the childs ability to adapt i think sometimes we the parents worry too much and expect to much and want to wrap them up in cotton wool!!!! Illl keep you posted on how our sweet lucy fairs but in my mind shes gonna be fine she is a beautiful little girl and a one and only child....... which i think has alot to do with the social maturity thing. We will take advice but i dont want her to stay down
    All the best Jins with your beautiful girl.... The main thing is not to worry too much and stress kids pick up on our feelings they are Psychic and it makes it worse. In the end lots of love wins out you cant go wrong on that one. take care
    Love cap

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      #3
      My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

      [I]Jinja, I know it's tough...but kids adapt. My two boys have a touch of A.D.D. and when thier Kindergarten Teacher told us that I was Ticked off. Took them to the Doc. put them on mild meds.....they were ok. My youngest out grew the meds and is doing fine.Schools can find problems out and try to help. My brother was held back in the 3rd grade. He is currently a supervisor for a hazordous disposal[ company working at NIH ( He's A Enviormental Chemist. BA from Fairmont State). Don't sweat the small stuff, make sure that your child gets the help they need. IAD/I]
      ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
      those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
      Dr. Seuss

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        #4
        My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

        Does your school system have an occupational therapist? If so, you could ask for an evaluation. This usually needs to go through her classroom teacher. They have great ideas for helping to deal with the sensory issues. Maybe you got the brushing program through that route. But I have no idea about the available of related services in South Africa.
        My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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          #5
          My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

          Hello Jinja,
          Just know that all parents are just as worried as you are about their education. My answer was to go into Rudoph Steiner education and I have found that was a wonderful way to support my children in the early years. (You can google that or pm me for links).
          But I believe you love your daughter fully and she will benefit more from that than anything else.
          Please do not stress, many children have challenges and this only makes them more wonderful.
          Hugs,
          Fickle

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            #6
            My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

            Hello Jinja
            In my opinion, it is better to hold them back when they are young. I had to hold my son back a year. He did not suffer any self-esteem issues, and as he began to catch up to the others, he gained some confidence. Try to get all the assistance for your child that you can while she is young. Best wishes.
            "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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              #7
              My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

              I don't know your full story, sorry if this is a stupid question, but is your daughter autistic? I really wish that I could help, but I don't know the educational system where you live. It sounds to me that until the schools accomodate her needs, she is going to struggle regardless of what grade she is in; it is not the content of the instruction, it is the environment. There are ways to make things better, but it depends on the school environment, not whether or not you decide to hold her back.
              Goal 1: Today
              Goal 2: Tomorrow

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                #8
                My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

                Luks I am interested ........what do you define as 'school environment'. I trust your take on things youre the best you know life...... by the way I have missed you so much Luks just a thought that shot into this Lame brain of mine...... you aint been around much and I bloddy hell miss you
                Love cap

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                  #9
                  My beautiful daughter is struggling so much

                  Thx for the feedback - some more information. She is not autistic & has been doing OT for the past year. Her IQ is just above average. Her OT doesn't believe that she needs to stay down. This is where my confusion comes from. It's not a clear-cut decision. She suffers enormously from anxiety in the classroom, but performs well in a one-on-one setting. Her grades are above average, so this is where I'm struggling to get to grips with this.

                  I will google Rudolph Steiner after I have posted this. Thx

                  Take care
                  xxx.
                  The mind is in its own place, and in itself
                  Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

                  John Milton

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