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    #16
    BLEW IT!!

    It's so good to have you all here. Thank you. I REALLY dreaded having to come in and tell the truth today, but you've all made me feel better.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #17
      BLEW IT!!

      Well, Ruby, I'm with Cinders. I don't think you blew it. You had some drinks but you haven't given up and you didn't do serious damage to yourself or anyone/anything else. And you obviously know it will be up to your son to take care of this terrible situation, and you can't do it for him, even though you wish you could. That's a very stressful place to be. I hope you can concentrate on your painting, and on keeping your head on straight about the alcohol... and I have every confidence that you can, and will!

      wip

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        #18
        BLEW IT!!

        Thanks again, guys. I'm going to try and lie down a bit now since I slept exactly 1 hour last night, to much to think about. Love you all!
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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          #19
          BLEW IT!!

          Never say you BLEW IT!!! if you continue ... you have BLOWN IT... clean up and start over.. we get good at this after awhile .... if i can doo it, anyone can ... um today is like day 12 i think for me ... yup day 12. Just pick up the pieces and start again, we all have..

          Love to you.. Attached files [img]/converted_files/644915=4108-attachment.jpg[/img]

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            #20
            BLEW IT!!

            the thing is that we get to start again, another chance try to go a little further this time, beating yourself up only makes it easier to slip again, good luck
            "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

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              #21
              BLEW IT!!

              Rubes, my heart goes out to you hun. At least you are back where you belong now x
              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                #22
                BLEW IT!!

                rubywillow;426935 wrote: Now I start over, and that's depressing, but at least I have this place and the option of starting again.
                Every day we all start over, in one way or another. You have been doing so well, keep it going! :l
                You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

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                  #23
                  BLEW IT!!

                  Hi Rubes
                  I am so glad that you are back. There is hardly anything in life more difficult than witnessing our childrens' pain, no matter how old they are. You did not Blow it, as the others have said; minor setback, but you jumped right back in, and that is what matters.:l
                  "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                    #24
                    BLEW IT!!

                    Ruby my Love, please stop with the self anger.This is part of the recovery processes.I surely went thru it and come out the other side, so can you...Get your mind on something creative and express your feelings thru that channel...Read my Peace Corp post and it my help you understand..
                    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                      #25
                      BLEW IT!!

                      Dearest Ruby, I soooo understand. I say that "I was the queen of try and try again". That is the key. Keep trying. I too have a son who suffers from depression. Made much worse when he drinks alcohol. That is when he talks about "Not wanting to be in this life anymore". So horrificly freightening for a loved one. His last episode was a couple of weeks ago. I left work in the early afternoon to go home to check on him. Afraid that I might find that my precious and loved child has ended his life. My guts churn and my heart aches when I think about it. I wish I could go back to when they were young and change the example of what I set for them. Unable to do that, each day I try to show, through my sobriety, a better way to live. I talk openly with him, about the effects of his drinking. I no longer tip toe around the subject. I used to feel too guilty. My words could mean nothing to him, unless my actions supported them. I would never have forgiven myself if I just stood by and watched this happen to my beloved child, without trying to intervene. The outcome of our story has not yet been written. I just hope that any parent who reads this, will take it to heart. Be strong, you can do this! Love and support! :h
                      "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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                        #26
                        BLEW IT!!

                        I don't think anyone here just started the MWO program and was successful the first time......I know it took me 3 attempts before something just "clicked" and I was able to climb out of the hole, with the help of a few very special people here....

                        Never give up. As I've said before, for me the pain of drinking became more than the pain of quitting. I got to the point where I was just so sick of being sick and failing.

                        Constantly quitting takes alot out of you. You have to get mad and decide you are going to do this and you are going to succeed. It is much easier to quit once and for all instead of continuing the roller coaster ride of quitting 1 day and drinking the next.

                        Never give up....

                        Don

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                          #27
                          BLEW IT!!

                          I am wishing with all my heart you and all present the very best for your life.

                          It is so helpful to be encouraged to not give up, I find thats the most difficulty, how my soul just bleeds for relief. I get so dispondent. Then I come here and somehow there is relief just for a moment.

                          Cinders, your quote in purplish towards the bottom of your posts brought tears because it opened up in my eyes that I am too reclusive with this.
                          I don't have any friends and sometimes I talk to total strangers.
                          I am making a move, today, to change this social condition.
                          I am researching gatherings here, even if is at a Church, just place that I can go to with this insanity and feel normal.

                          Bless you in your own struggle and know you are not alone and to not ever give up hope.
                          :notes:Theme2be

                          " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

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                            #28
                            BLEW IT!!

                            Thanks, 2be. We do isolate ourselves with our alchol lover. It's time to let the light of the rest of the world in! Good luck to you. PM me if you're ever feel too alone.
                            sigpic
                            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                            Comment

                              #29
                              BLEW IT!!

                              ruby, dont look at it as starting over, its more like you are "regrouping'! Please keep the faith!
                              "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

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                                #30
                                BLEW IT!!

                                Hi Rubes

                                So nice to see you again, I don't think you blew it, you just needed something to numb- and then realised it didn't help one IOTA- been there done that- we need to do it a few times to realise it DOES not help- then eventually we just won't do it anymore.

                                There are loads of successful people here walking the talk for us to know we can get there too.

                                Take care Ruby, I am not worried about you as I know you are very strong

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