Don't know why I did it

[rubywillow]

Don't know why I did it

P.S. If you don't get answers right away, don't give up. People move around lots on here, and we have to try to live our lives too.

[river0123]

Don't know why I did it

Hi Hopeful ~
It took me several attempts in the beginning to make it through one day AF, but now am looking at 100 days sober on Thursday! After several slips, I managed to scare myself absolutely sh**less on what would be my last drinking binge. I consider myself lucky to be alive. I got sick during the night and barely woke up in time, I almost choked. I imagine my kids finding their beloved mom dead that way and it is enough to scare me sober. I'm not saying it's always been easy, but it's been very worth it. With the CD's,supps/book & never ending support found here, I'm hanging in there. When you look at all you have to lose from drinking, it puts it in perspective. Many people here have found it helpful to make lists of all that is lost with drinking. You'll find your way, and we'll be here to hold your hand. Never, ever give up!!!:l:h

[Pyes]

Don't know why I did it

Hey Hopeful Mom I hear you on the little voice and the guilt from hubby and kids. Thats exactly what I did yesterday and today I'm not so good. I am yet to get the meds etc but we can do this right? Isnt the first step the hardest to make.
Pyes :new:

[akmom]

Don't know why I did it

Hopeful mom;427429 wrote: When do you start feeling better about yourself?

hopeful....you have good days and bad days....some are way up and some are way down, one thing that you have to remember is that you aren't your disease, or whatever phrase you are using. You are human, capable of mistakes and moods. You are also capable of taking control of your moods and reactions. By choosing to be AF you are taking proactive control over your life, instead of reactive. You can do it!!!

Believe in yourself......WE DO!!!!!!

[Hopeful mom]

Don't know why I did it

Thank you all for the encouragement. I am blessed to have found you all, and I thank God for putting you in my life. Of course I've always known that I wasn't the only one who was going through this hell, but never had anyone to share with who could relate. Thanks again!

[gabby]

Don't know why I did it

[quote=Hopeful mom;427241]Want so badly to be in control (like everyone here). This site is so encouraging and I thought I'd finally found something that would put me on the right track. How do you guys do it?

Oh Boy...everybody works on it every day. Dont think anyone really has it nailed just gotta keep on workin.

:welcome:

[Determinator]

Don't know why I did it

HopefulMom, it's interesting that your thread name was "I don't know why I did it". that's really quite telling of this disease. When we become taken over by the addictive entity that rises up from within us, we become unconscious beings. We really do become slaves to an unconscious series of actions and sorry consequences. Thankfully it's possible with practice to separate yourself from this addictive parasite that we all here share. Don't allow yourself to identify with this entity when you become aware of it's presence. Instead watch it from a distance in your mind and realize it's a defective thing with a short attention span trying to 'get you'. If it turns follow it. keep staring it down and it will shrink back into it's little hole as the powerless thing it really is. In time this mental exercise will become easier.
Hope this helps you as much as it's helped me

ps...also I firmly believe the MWO hypno has helped me retrain my thinking. Also getting on the 'chat' here is great fun and helps to alleviate those craving thoughts.