I think the title says enough. Many newbies may not know me; oldies may not care for me, but I don't care who does it, but pleeeeaaassseeee I need someone to tell me to pull my head out of my ass.
I have excuse after excuse: I am bipolar and self medicate. My ex-husband had an affair when I was pregnant. My mother died of AIDS. I lived in an abusive, alcoholic family. I am broke as shit and am trying to pull it together while my ex doesn't pay child support while he lives the country club lifestyle. The man I love is so emotionally detached from life itself he will never love me.
All of these things are just excuses, and I know it. Really, deep down I know this, but it is hard for me right now to wrap my arms around the fact that some day it WILL get better. Better? When?
I feel like things are much the same as when I joined 9 months ago (now). I know that this is because I am still drinking. In those nine months, I did do two 30 day stints. These "stints" were extremely painful, both mentally and physically. Although this may be the case, I felt like I learned a lot from them and actually led a more healthy lifestyle before and after---drinking much less, going to the doctor for proper diagnosis, etc.
I think that I have let my guard down (obviously). During recent changes on the site, I won a gift certificate to the store. I was so thrilled in my time of brokeness that I said that I would never take that for granted. I feel that I HAVE taken that for granted. I bought the HYPNO CD's with the monies. A few months ago my son took my CD player out of my room to listen to; I have not bothered to put it back. Once again another excuse, but I realize how important iit is to follow a program and never give up---even if Sponge Bob and some jerks in life are trying to get in the way.
Thanks for listening and I hope to be here a lot more than I have been.
I have excuse after excuse: I am bipolar and self medicate. My ex-husband had an affair when I was pregnant. My mother died of AIDS. I lived in an abusive, alcoholic family. I am broke as shit and am trying to pull it together while my ex doesn't pay child support while he lives the country club lifestyle. The man I love is so emotionally detached from life itself he will never love me.
All of these things are just excuses, and I know it. Really, deep down I know this, but it is hard for me right now to wrap my arms around the fact that some day it WILL get better. Better? When?
I feel like things are much the same as when I joined 9 months ago (now). I know that this is because I am still drinking. In those nine months, I did do two 30 day stints. These "stints" were extremely painful, both mentally and physically. Although this may be the case, I felt like I learned a lot from them and actually led a more healthy lifestyle before and after---drinking much less, going to the doctor for proper diagnosis, etc.
I think that I have let my guard down (obviously). During recent changes on the site, I won a gift certificate to the store. I was so thrilled in my time of brokeness that I said that I would never take that for granted. I feel that I HAVE taken that for granted. I bought the HYPNO CD's with the monies. A few months ago my son took my CD player out of my room to listen to; I have not bothered to put it back. Once again another excuse, but I realize how important iit is to follow a program and never give up---even if Sponge Bob and some jerks in life are trying to get in the way.
Thanks for listening and I hope to be here a lot more than I have been.
Luk, I know how you feel. Most of us have been their. Just pick yourself up and start again. IAD
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