Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

[Elizabeth]

After a successful week AF I went to a close friend's bar/restaurant celebrations for her pub/restaurant. It was definately the party of the year. I started out as I intended to, drinking red bull and off the booze. Then I moved on to low al white wine, then shots, then normal wine, then whiskey!!!! Anyway the point is I was not pressured in any way. I've actually been openly proud of not drinking booze, I guess I just wanted to join the mood/flow...whatever! The point is that whether its a party like this or just an easy evening around the gym bar after a work out or at home doing graphics on the computer late at night, I seem to fail victim (God I hate that!). A fellow AA says there are 8 triggers, music and a party being 2! How do you successfull AFs recognise and handle these moments. There has to be a mental plan involved. I would really appreciate your advice and thoughts.:thanks:

[caysea]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Hi Elizabeth
Don't think of myself as long term AF[only 4 months] but can give you some personal info.I tried many times in the past to stop drinking but now realize my plan was not what it should have been.I would stay AF for a week and than think I could hang out at parties and not drink.I would end up just as you did. This time I made not drinking the most important thing I do each day.What ever it took to not drink I am doing.This meant in the beginning not going to certain parties and avoiding certain situations.I needed to be away from the al for awhile for it to weaken its grip on me. It was a self imposed ban on being in situations that centered around drinking.I don't know how in the past I thought I could hang at parties with this battle raging inside me.Now it is no problem being around people drinking.It is just not for me and it doesn't bother anybody else I don't drink.That is something you have to realize.It was isolating but necessary for me .

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF5-16-08

[Chief]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

You have to look at yourself as a non drinker instead of someone who is just not drinking.....

It's a mindset. You have to take drinking off the table. We get into trouble when taking a drink becomes an option. Once The Beast has it on the table and up for negotiation, he's got you....

And I agree with Caysea.....in the early stages of AF you have to make it the most important thing you do each day. You avoid situations which you know are going to involve drinking......you get rid of all alcohol in your house.....you plan to succeed instead of letting The Beast allow you to plan to fail...

Hope this helps....

Don

[A Work in Progress]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Caysea's answer is pretty much what I would say, too. You can't necessarily engage in all the same activities that you did while drinking, and expect that it will be OK. The "mental plan" has to include that "whatever it takes" mentality, PLUS careful planning as to where you will go, with whom, and doing what. As you get stronger and more confident, you can begin to do more things that might have been quite risky at the beginning.

best wishes,

wip

[tlrgs]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Chief;432967 wrote: You have to look at yourself as a non drinker instead of someone who is just not drinking.....

It's a mindset. You have to take drinking off the table. We get into trouble when taking a drink becomes an option. Once The Beast has it on the table and up for negotiation, he's got you....

And I agree with Caysea.....in the early stages of AF you have to make it the most important thing you do each day. You avoid situations which you know are going to involve drinking......you get rid of all alcohol in your house.....you plan to succeed instead of letting The Beast allow you to plan to fail...

Hope this helps....

Don

ditto

[cmhguy3]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Chief;432967 wrote:

. You have to take drinking off the table. We get into trouble when taking a drink becomes an option. Once The Beast has it on the table and up for negotiation, he's got you....

Don

WOW! What a simple way to put it in words! This helps me also today...Thanks!

Guy

[AAthlete]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Elizabeth, I would agree with others in that a week of sobriety is not enough to go to celebration like that and remain sober.

Being that you are in AA, I would say that until you have worked all the steps and feel on solid footing you should avoid those events. Remember what is said - 'alcohol is cunning, baffling & powerful' - and it will look for any opening it can find to get us to drink

[southernbelle47]

Please ~ Need advice from long term AF's

Amen