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    #1

    Scared and Excited

    I'm not really expecting any answers from this just want to get some stuff of my chest..

    I have just got a lot of emotions running round inside me...Not one part of me is worried about not being able to do it..The worry is after reading a thread last night about what life is going to be like after drink..I always imagined life will be what i always wanted..I know it will be so much easier but i am worried i have built up my expectations too high..

    I think AA said something like even though i am sober i am sometimes still an arsehole...Or words to that effect..I know i am not going to change over night..I have made plans to fill time in the evenings..And god knows my house could do with a makeover..I suppose if what i end up with is half of what i expect then i should be happy..

    Or theres the other route...Do i try and push myself while im at this life changing moment...Go the whole hog..Change everything about me that i dont like..Diet...Smoking..Health..Attitude of proberly just doing enough to get bye...I'm not very proud at all of the person i have grown into..I used to be full of energy...And now i have none..

    I have also read other threads today that make me think god...stop pissing and moaning and get on with it..There are people here who have more on their plate than hopefully i ever will..

    I know my family will benefit no matter the outcome..As long as drink is out of the equation..Which it will be..I just hope i can live upto my and their expectations..Thats proberly the key to what my whole rant is about..
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009
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    #2
    Scared and Excited

    Gia got it right, I think. Take it easy (isn't that an AA phrase, too?). For most of us, getting AL out of our lives has to be the priority, and making tons of other changes that the same time (or trying to!) can be counterproductive. Later on, after getting fairly secure in sobriety, is plenty of time to look at other stuff. That's how I see it, anyhow.

    Best wishes,

    wip

    Comment

      #3
      Scared and Excited

      Macks, change can be scary whether it is good or bad - but kudos to you for taking the plunge.

      In a lot of ways I equate marriage to my sobriety, in that without a lot of work it is most likely going to fail.

      When we first get married, we are full of hopes and excitement about what the future holds for us and we dream about what life is going to be like growing old with that other person. What people don't initially realize is that all of that doesn't just happen by itself, right? Sometimes those rosy dreams don't turn out to be so rosy - kids come along, financial crises may arise, you may grow distant from one another - and those dreams are suddenly sidetracked.

      What to do......

      I suppose that you could get angry about the challenges that have entered your life, and take it out on those around you. But then you are not trying to fix the things that need fixing, you are instead accepting your lot in life. Or, you could work with your partner to raise those kids in a healthy and happy environment; you can work together to get through that financial mess; you can start going out on dates with your spouse or go to counseling to patch things up.

      The point would be that both will present challenges, will require an ongoing effort to succeed and won't run just on inertia. You hit the nail on the head when you said if you do half the things then 'you will be happy.' Find things that will make you happy in your sobriety, and those around you will pick up on it. You're being happy will make them happy as well, and the key is that they don't have to be these big earth-shattering things... it is the little things that are really appreciated...

      I know your going to beat these thing, and as others have recommended don't try to bite off too much at once. Just get sober and learn how to be a happy Mackeral and things will fall into place on their own.
      Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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        #4
        Scared and Excited

        live to what you expect out of yourself not for anyone else first and formost.. the rest will come later .. stay strong and thnk positive
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment

          #5
          Scared and Excited

          I hear you Mac.

          I too would like all sorts of changes at once, I want to diet, more exercise, get my house in order, etc. But you know what? For myself, if I try to change too many things at once and become stressed I might throw out the baby with the bathwater. I'm concentrating on staying AF for a while and tackle other things as I feel able. That way no matter what else happens to me right now I can point to me being AF and say, Hey at least I have done this. :l

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            #6
            Scared and Excited

            Macks, I know Lisa and your lovely bunch of kids love you dearly and are there to support you. You will be fine. :l
            Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

            Comment

              #7
              Scared and Excited

              Ditto PP. You are a wonderful family and we are here to help you out.
              "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

              Comment

                #8
                Scared and Excited

                Mack,
                I am at that stage where I am 60+ days AF and wondering why my communication issues, procrastination issues, non exercise issues, financial issues, house cleaning and organization issues have not just miraculously disappeared. I now face myself head-on and I'll deal with these problems one step at a time. They won't disappear overnight but I know, free of AL, I am in a much better place to start tackling the issues to be the person I really WANT to be. I don't like the thought of all the work I have ahead of me but I know it will be truly rewarding. Even now, with issues looming, I can look at myself with pride and a respect I didn't have 2 months ago. It is a great feeling. Krigs
                "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                  #9
                  Scared and Excited

                  Or theres the other route...Do i try and push myself while im at this life changing moment...Go the whole hog..Change everything about me that i dont like..Diet...Smoking..Health..Attitude of proberly just doing enough to get bye...I'm not very proud at all of the person i have grown into..I used to be full of energy...And now i have none..
                  Only got one thing to say.. don't loose yourself in all this mack. Be true to yourself mate and things will fall into place as AA mentioned. don't loose sight of the person you are and try to become something you're not.

                  Love and Happiness
                  Hippie
                  xx
                  "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                  Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Scared and Excited

                    Mack, I know how you feel ! Ha! IAD
                    ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                    those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                    Dr. Seuss

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