I don't know what happened. I was so psyched, so ready to do this, went through all the crap to get everything I needed--the book, the cd's, the supplements, the Topa. I was so proud of myself, and here I am--drunk again. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because of the financial crisis, the fear of my husband losing his job, the fact that my newlywed son just lost his. But, in the face of all of this, when I need to be strong, what am I doing? Avoiding, avoiding, avoiding. It just sucks. I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of getting old. I just wish I could be strong. I wish I could love life the way I used to. :upset: Kay
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Lost My Resolve
Kay,
I know much about where you are.
Once, early in trying to get sober, I told my husband "I need to get my happy back."
I am usually a very happy upbeat person but somehow this year that changed.
I do know that being sober makes it a lot easier. When I was drinking, it amplified it, not eased it. (Well, okay, let's be honest, it eases it for about an hour, but then all h@ll breaks loose and you are back to drunken miserable.)
You have the tools at hand, you have the desire but you are obviously afraid of the big step.
Try it. Do it. You can.
Love,
CindiAF April 9, 2016 -
Lost My Resolve
Kay,
Have you started the supps, Topa, cds, the book? They won't help if they are laying on the shelf. You are back here with us so that indicates your desire is there. Just start tomorrow as a new, fresh day and take it ODAT. Most of us don't make it without some rollercoaster action so don't spend a whole lot of time beating yourself up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try try again. Try to switch over to water or "sweet tea" as you have in plentiful supply there in Georgia. (I'll be there in a couple of weeks and can't wait to drink some). I'm sending my well wishes your way, Kay. This battle is a tough one but doable!
Kriger"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-TzuComment
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Lost My Resolve
KTB - post on my thread on "just starting out"..?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?
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Lost My Resolve
Kay, you CAN do this. I think that I am the opposite of just about everyone. I drink when I am happy. I get this feeling that I am floating too far above earth and I need to get grounded. In reality, these are all just excuses fed to us by the beast. He/she/it/whatever will try to lure us with every excuse in the book. It feeds on our fears/sadness/happiness/frustrations and convinces us to drink because supposedly there is no other way out.
Especially right now, fear is certainly an excuse to drink. Does it help? Hell no. Do we know better? Hell yes. Do we continue to do it? We wish not. Can we do something about it? We believe so; therefore, we can.Goal 1: Today
Goal 2: TomorrowComment
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Lost My Resolve
Kay this crisis is hitting a lot of us hard.
But it's still no excuse. When things get tough, we need to stand up and face it. And we're going to be better for it. Diving for the bottle is the easy out, but as your post shows, it's not the solution.
It's an ideal time now to rise to the challenge, and get to leading the charge, and feeling good because of it. Put that thought into the mix. Tomorrow is a new day.Comment
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Lost My Resolve
Kay
You have all of the tools, so come on, let's go. You can do this!!!
I am severely financially stressed; on the verge of losing my home, but I know that getting drunk will not make it go away. I have to accept my situation and do my best to change it. The rest is out of my hands. We are here to support you."Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)Comment
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Lost My Resolve
"Losing resolve" is something that IS going to happen. The human mind is not a machine that we can set to a certain place, and keep it there. That's why we have to put other aspects of the program into place that will help when our minds falter and our brains cry out for alcohol, like little children wanting candy. The "other aspects" include a commitment to come here and ask for help when we don't feel strong in our resolve; getting alcohol out of the house; not going to places where they sell alcohol or hanging out with drinking buddies; a commitment to engage in distraction methods when impulses to drink arise; exercise, hypnotherapy, meditation... We need to have a full-scale plan to successfully engage in this difficult and long-term battle.
best wishes,
wipComment
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Lost My Resolve
It took a long time before I had the tools to get me thru that first impulse to drink...I gathered a box of things that made me feel good and would force myself to do some of those, before I gave in.I had Candy, Movies, Magazines, Photos of my kids, Old Love letters, etc. etc.....I kept adding new things, to keep it interesting...That SOBRIETY TOOL BOX has saved me, many, many times..sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!Comment
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Lost My Resolve
Evielou, what a wonderful idea - the sobriety tool box! I also agree with all the above said. Don't let your tools sit on the shelf. They will truly help. Wishing you strength and resolve...:l:hYou, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ BuddhaComment
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Lost My Resolve
Strangely enough, the hard times seemed to help my loving husband with AL. This past week while staying sober he realized that hard times call for action and he is determined to face them head on. It is the best time to bond together and support each other.. it has to get better and it will.Comment
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Lost My Resolve
Thanks for all your help and supportive words. I laid on the couch and listened to "escalator" man for an hour this morning. Not sure if I was hypnotized or just about to fall asleep. Taking all the supps and the topa--just need the desire and determination to be AF. I am going to use the cd's again religiously. It may be my imagination, but they did seem to help. If nothing else, the sounds of the ocean and birds are calming.
Everyone have a wonderful weekend. I've got plenty to keep me busy, if I can just stop watching the financial meltdown. Thank God the market is closed. Now, I think I'll go take a look at our 401K statement--Yikes!! KayComment
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Lost My Resolve
Good to see you're feeling better Kay
Keeping busy is certainly the key.. Im spending this weekend sober, and looking after my poorly dog?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?Comment
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Lost My Resolve
I cant really add to whats been said Kay...So much really good advice there already..Beleive me i know money gets you down..Lots of things get us down...
But i bet your family would pick your health over money any day..
Kay the no 1 priority is YOU...But not just for you..For your family..I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009Comment
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Lost My Resolve
Hi Kay,
Perhaps now is not the best time to look at that 401K!! I've avoided looking - I get queezy seeing roadkill, and the devastation to our retirement assets would make me hurl. But what goes down must also go up, so to borrow a line from Scarlet O'Hara, "tomorrow is another day." Seriously, fear takes over when we feel we have no control. That's a good time to seek the comfort of the Lord, or higher power, or whoever you credit the creation of the universe. And us. Not that we had anything to do with the universe, but we do like to keep our little corner sober. We're in for a bumpy ride, for sure - but perhaps there's some good in it. We'll see.
Vera-bComment
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