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    #16
    Powerless vs Power

    A Work in Progress;437544 wrote: ........So, I would think that consistently successful moderate drinking, for those who have a history of serious alcohol abuse, depends a lot on the "mental game" (monitoring thoughts, daydreams, attitudes, expectations, stress levels, triggers), and also a lot on control over the environment within which one chooses to drink. All of those factors interact with the strictly alcohol-related physiological factors that are taking place in our brains.

    wip
    Great posts everyone and I appreciate the debate.

    WIP, I don't disagree with the path that you have laid out, but for me that is almost too black and white. A primary reason why people come here is because they can't do it themselves - they need help from others. You could give me a book that laid out EXACTLY the thought processes that I needed to get sober and there is a 99% chance I wouldn't be able to because I don't understand how the mind works and how doing 'A' will influence 'B.'

    For me, I needed someone to show me how to get sober, and it had to be someone who had 'been there and done that.' I went to a therapist for several months and it did very little good. By all accounts she was a great therapist, and pushed the AA aspect of recovery -- but I would have none of it because she hadn't walked in my shoes and didn't know the true pain that I was in.

    You mentioned monitoring thoughts, daydreams, attitudes, etc. and that works for a lot of people. But honestly, that sounds like a heck of a lot of work for me. I prefer just to turn my stuff over to my problems and issues over to my higher power and wash my hands of it - and that is literally what it feels like.

    I know everyone has differing opinions and I appreciate everyone's honesty and point of view.
    Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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      #17
      Powerless vs Power

      AAth, I hope I didn't manage to convey the impression that I don't think I need help with this! I certainly do... and that's why I'm here, and that's why I am doing a lot of things differently in my life, so as to maximize my chances of remaining permanently free from alcohol.

      I know that a lot of people want to get their "help" from people who have suffered the same problem that they need help with. That kind of help can be good... or not... Same is true for therapists... and, in many cases, true for physicians, as well... Sometimes we find that their help "works" and sometimes we conclude that it does not "work." Partly, the outcome depends on expectations and beliefs. If we strongly believe that only a person who has "walked in our shoes" can help us, then it's likely to be true.

      Clearly, for you, the concept or method of "turning problems over to a higher power" is very effective, and I totally applaud that... for you, and for everyone who finds that to be helpful!

      wip

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        #18
        Powerless vs Power

        Nope - I'm with you WIP and I wish I did have the ability to look at it the way that you do.

        It's what works for you (or me, or anyone else) that matters, right?:thumbysup:
        Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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          #19
          Powerless vs Power

          x
          Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

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            #20
            Powerless vs Power

            Hello all,

            This is an extremely interesting thread. I have just one thought to inject. Some people look at a "higher power" as an external being, yet others see the God in all of us. Personally, I believe that the creator of the universe works within each of us. That said, "he's" at work in the lives and struggles of everyone. There have been many times in my life when I faced a dilemma and didn't know what to do next. Often, just the right person at the right time crossed my path and I knew what the next step should be. I do believe that was God working through people.

            When faced with the ultimate challenge to me, controlling drinking, I found MWO. The
            word "powerless" is so loaded I avoid it. But I sure did gain a lot of strength through the collective wisdom and experience here. I think that was the creator of the universe at work - in the lives of everyday, ordinary folks - showing me the way. Thank you all.

            Vera-b

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              #21
              Powerless vs Power

              Well said, Vera-b. Yet another way to look at this.
              AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                #22
                Powerless vs Power

                That's a wonderful post, vera-b. I agree with much of what you said.

                In Buddhism sometimes we speak of "small mind" and "big mind." My own understanding of this is: The small mind is the grasping ego, habit energy, selfishness, defensiveness, short-sightedness, etc. Big Mind is the mental or spiritual "place" where our individual consciousness merges with, or is in contact with, all that is creative and wise and compassionate.

                I believe that the same mind (my own mind) that expresses its short-sighted, addicted, deluded desire for alcohol is the same mind that has the capacity to hear and express wisdom, good judgment, compassion, and clarity. When I learn to listen to what goes on within my own mind, and as I observe the truth of cause and effect, I begin to discern which is which. And, as I see more clearly, I become more consistently able to exercise the freedom to behave in a manner that is compassionate and wise. Even better, that is often (but not always, unfortunately!) exactly what I want to do.

                wip

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                  #23
                  Powerless vs Power

                  fantastic thread everyone. Certainly when alcohol is not in our body/mind we have absolute and utter control over it. it's simply a liquid sitting someplace. it's keeping it in that place that is the simple and yet sometimes hard thing to do. Once we let it in our body then of course this challenge becomes extraordinarily complex.
                  as for why it's harder to mod than other times I think it has to do with the many things AWIP pointed out and even such simple things as what we have eaten recently, the state of our brains neurotransmitter levels, how much sleep we've had etc etc. just like sometimes we'll go to the gym and feel trash and other times feel like we can go forever with no obvious explanation.

                  I was talking to our beloved Morrison here on chat once many months ago about maybe modding sometime and he asked if it was worth it. What if it DOESN'T go well. I've a lot more to lose than gain from a night of drinking. Best thing is that I could escape unscathed for one night. Worst thing is that I've opened up the possibility for DUI, accidents, arguments, hangover, embarrassment etc that could also happen in that one night.
                  sorry slightly off track now...
                  nosce te ipsum
                  (Know Thyself)

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                    #24
                    Powerless vs Power

                    Wonderful thread, thanks guys
                    nancy;437473 wrote: I think for some people, powerlessness was what got us into the mess in the first place...
                    I think this is it in a nutshell for me. Thank you all for helping me see this concept in a totally new way. I can relate better now to the idea of the big mind or higher power being within me and the practice of mindfulness being a way to access or remind ourselves of that. Somehow everyone here is absolutely right in their own way.
                    :thanks:
                    Fickle

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                      #25
                      Powerless vs Power

                      Hello All,

                      This is a great thread an very interesting. I enjoyed reading everyone's comments and understanding more about the addiction of alcohol helps me in my life to be AF or to moderate AL. For myself, MWO is the best place for me to learn to control my AL - I've never been to AA but I would be surprised if you could get this kind of information and support.

                      I do believe in my God (as a Higher power) but I don't necessarily believe that my God is going to get me to an AF/Mod life. I think that is more about what is going on with me and taking control of my own mind and figuring out what works for me. I think the important thing is that whatever we beleive as long as it helps us to understand our addiction and gets us to our goal of an AF or moderation life, that's really what counts. Thanks to all of you for your comments on this thread. I should save this and read it, everytime I feel a bit "powerless" -to remind me of who's in control. Thanks again.

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                        #26
                        Powerless vs Power

                        Hi Petey

                        Nice to meet you. I hope you have a nice home here with MWO. I have no problem with a higher power or God or whatever you want to call it. I would like to think I have had some experiences with him or her also.

                        Just remember that what you do rests with you. I have been on this rocky road for a long time and have been thrown off the wagon more than once due to bumpy roads. Thank goodness I have now learned how to hang on so I don't fall off anymore. It happens eventually. It happens.
                        Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

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                          #27
                          Powerless vs Power

                          good post AA,that is , one of many good things on this site,openess to air what you want to say,if it works USE it have a good weekend ALL GYCO

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                            #28
                            Powerless vs Power

                            Petey, firstly, welcome!

                            I have a blog entry titled "brain power" you may find helpful BTW.
                            nosce te ipsum
                            (Know Thyself)

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                              #29
                              Powerless vs Power

                              bumping this for Kat

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