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AF Army 11th October

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    #1

    AF Army 11th October

    Morning all you lovely people....

    Today I am going to try to feel a bit more postive about things. The last couple of days have been truly horrible and I keep expecting a phone call from the hospital to say my mum has worsened or died. They think she has a clot on her lung.
    The strain really sends me downhill and the wanting to numb out and smoke has been quite overwhelming at times.
    BUT I have so much to be grateful for and I dont want to lose that. That is where I must focus my attention and not the stuff I have no control over.

    So I am sorry I have been a miserable bugger recently.

    Oney, I know you have been down too. We will get through this. Lets just tell ourselves that bad feelings dont last OK?

    Have a lovely day all of you.
    I am so grateful that I have all of you as my friends and support network.

    Catch you later
    Love Fartingover xxx
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009
    Tags: None
    #2
    AF Army 11th October

    Sending a huge hug your way Starting!!
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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      #3
      AF Army 11th October

      Good Morning Starts and Deebee and everyone else who will be here later-

      Starts I am so sorry your mum is in a bad way- I know how awful it is to sit around waiiting for news. When my dad was sick/dying I did an awful lot of numbing and it is something I now regret- that I couldn't be there for my family- or indeed him- I was too drunk.
      And it did not make me feel better or indeed numb- it just made me feel infinitely worse.

      Deebee- I have just ordered that book you mentioned on O2's thread- thank you for that

      I am feeling fine (sorry for all those who don't) although I am not taking the naltrexone anymore, it seems to have lost some of it's dubious charm, and I am moding or remaining AF without too much trouble.

      Have to fly now as I have lots of work to do with the shop today-

      Have a good day everyone- I am saying a prayer for your mum, Starts.

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        #4
        AF Army 11th October

        Hi Starting - you're sounding strong and positive this morning I will be saying a prayer for your mum. And no, you havent been a miserable bugger..lol. Hey, if you've been that this past week, then I must have sounded like a cross between a kamikaze pilot and a lemming!

        Morning to everyone. I hope everyones saturday is happy and calm and healthy.
        ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

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          #5
          AF Army 11th October

          Morning all. Hope everyone is feeling positive this beautifull sat. Whats everyones plans for tdy? I have no money, so will prob go for a walk in the park and try and find stuff in my fridge and cupboards to cook something!
          Thinking of you Starts, and hope evrything goes o.k tdy.
          To Infinity And Beyond!!

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            #6
            AF Army 11th October

            Hi Cym, My plans (apart from being sober) are to look after my doggy, get some ironing done and stay in the warmth of my house, because the cold wind outside plays havoc with my sore gums
            Money's a bit tight too here, so will be raiding my cupboards and fridge to make a stir-fry concoction.
            Oh, and its the start of the X Factor live shows tonight to look forward to
            ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

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              #7
              AF Army 11th October

              Really thinking of you and your mum at this time Starts.
              Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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                #8
                AF Army 11th October

                and you and your mum too O2M.
                Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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                  #9
                  AF Army 11th October

                  Hi All,

                  Thank you so much for all your good wishes. Means alot to me.
                  Mum is not great this morning but will see her later on.
                  I am feeling brighter though. Think exhaustion took over a bit yesterday.

                  Oney, my prayers are being said for your mum too.
                  Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                  Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                  Comment

                    #10
                    AF Army 11th October

                    Starting, my mother went through the lung clot thing during her last hospitalization. What I learned was that they are not always as scary as they seem (I thought they were always extremely dangerous); sometimes they just settle into a spot in the lung without being in danger of breaking loose and going to the brain. They put my mother on a blood-thinner to keep her from getting more of them (it's the ongoing process of producing more clots that is so dangerous).

                    I have been feeling strangely cranky and irritable the last couple of days. Need to snap on out of it. I'm going to look at the entertainment pages of the paper and figure out if there is some kind of festival-type thing or art show I can make myself go to. Will take camera. Have been spending too much time at home! Also, MUST visit Mother... that's part of the crankiness, it comes from having something I dread that is always in the back of my mind...

                    Cy, Chelle, OneTwo, showing some good attitude, all of you! Hi DB, vlad, marbs!

                    wip

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                      #11
                      AF Army 11th October

                      Thanks wip, yes my fears are that it will break away and kill her. She has had thrombosis before so I think she is prone to them plus that is what killed her mum.
                      Trouble is she cant breathe, I hate to see her suffer like this......

                      I hope you feel better soon. Mums eh ? )))
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment

                        #12
                        AF Army 11th October

                        Just checking in briefly to say 'Hello'. Starting I hope things take a turn for the better with your mum. Sorry, but being absent these past few days on the thread means I've a lot to catch up with!!

                        Love to you and yours starting and one. And love and happiness to the rest of you lovely recruits. I've gotta fly as I've gotta go and meet Sal to pick up Jasmine in the village. She's actually stopping with me overnight tonight FINALLY!!. So I'll be busy for most of the day. Taking her back tomorrow at 2ish so I'll have a proper catch up with you all tomorrow afternoon.

                        Again Love and Happiness
                        Hips
                        xx
                        "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                        Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                          #13
                          AF Army 11th October

                          Hips, hope you have a really wonderful time with Jas! And I'm sure you will... I'm happy for you!

                          wip

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                            #14
                            AF Army 11th October

                            Hipps, thank you. I am so pleased to hear your little one is able to stay with you today. Have a lovely time
                            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                            Comment

                              #15
                              AF Army 11th October

                              Good morning/afternoon everyone! Saying prayers for all the mums today :wings:
                              It's been a trying week for all of us, that's for sure. I think I am going to make a new list this weekend. In the beginning of this journey, I thought about and documented the pros and cons of drinking/not drinking. Now, I have to look at what I can control in life and what I cannot. I am going to look at what I can do to prepare for what I cannot control and how to better react to what I can control. Am I making sense or do I need to have some more coffee...LOL!! Wishing everyone a great weekend
                              :l
                              LTG AF January 13, 2011

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