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    #16
    Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

    Well, it's this issue of cause and effect that is so hard to get to grips with when you feel depressed.

    You feel depressed and drinking seems like the effect of feeling so bad and being desperate for relief. And it some ways, it does offer relief. It relieves anxiety initially. But if you do some reading up on it on this website, you see that what it really does is physically cause depression and other emotional problems. So it's a cause and effect of drinking.

    You may have alienated those who love you because maybe they are exasperated at not being able to help. I am sure they still love you but maybe some will keep their distance just to avoid the pain of seeing you harm yourself. But the most important person here is you. Do you love yourself? Are you going to decide to help yourself? Are you on your own side? What kind of messages to you send yourself? If these things are not there, all the love in the world from the outside is not going to help you. (In my opinion and from my experience)

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      #17
      Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

      That's my biggest problem Nancy; outside of alcohol. I haven't loved myself for years. Only felt happy while drinking, majority of the time.

      I suffer from clinical depression (this was diagnosed before the alcohol abuse). I should be on meds, but no insurance equals no help whatsoever.
      It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission.

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        #18
        Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

        You may have alienated those who love you because maybe they are exasperated at not being able to help. I am sure they still love you but maybe some will keep their distance just to avoid the pain of seeing you harm yourself. But the most important person here is you. Do you love yourself? Are you going to decide to help yourself? Are you on your own side? What kind of messages to you send yourself? If these things are not there, all the love in the world from the outside is not going to help you. (In my opinion and from my experience)
        I have to agree with Nancy on this one. Healing has to start with self love. We love ourselves enough to care - and care whether we're healthy, sober, happy, on the right path, etc. Rachelita, you may very well be a very sensitive person. The creator of the universe made us all unique - with our own "specialness" as well as our challenges. My own sister is extremely sensitive and she rarely drinks. It's just who she is. I try to honor that, but it is a lot of work to monitor every syllable, every sigh to ensure that she is not inadvertantly offended. The result? We don't talk all that often.

        But your sensitivity can also be used as an asset. Knowing how much you feel things, you can likely sense emotions in others. Perhaps you are well poised to help others - be there for others in need, if only to listen with the level of sensitivity lacking in some. This may feed your own sense of self love that will help on your journey to control the drink. I would suggest doing anything and everything to start looking at yourself with enough love and respect that you can make the journey to sobriety.

        Vera-b

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          #19
          Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

          You may have alienated those who love you because maybe they are exasperated at not being able to help. I am sure they still love you but maybe some will keep their distance just to avoid the pain of seeing you harm yourself. But the most important person here is you. Do you love yourself? Are you going to decide to help yourself? Are you on your own side? What kind of messages to you send yourself? If these things are not there, all the love in the world from the outside is not going to help you. (In my opinion and from my experience)
          I have to agree with Nancy on this one. Healing has to start with self love. We love ourselves enough to care - and care whether we're healthy, sober, happy, on the right path, etc. Rachelita, you may very well be a very sensitive person. The creator of the universe made us all unique - with our own "specialness" as well as our challenges. My own sister is extremely sensitive and she rarely drinks. It's just who she is. I try to honor that, but it is a lot of work to monitor every syllable, every sigh to ensure that she is not inadvertantly offended. The result? We don't talk all that often.

          But your sensitivity can also be used as an asset. Knowing how much you feel things, you can likely sense emotions in others. Perhaps you are well poised to help others - be there for others in need, if only to listen with the level of sensitivity lacking in some. This may feed your own sense of self love that will help on your journey to control the drink. I would suggest doing anything and everything to start looking at yourself with enough love and respect that you can make the journey to sobriety.

          Vera-b[/QUOTE]

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            #20
            Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

            One of these days I'll figure out how to do the quote thing. Nancy - just wanted to properly attribute your words.

            Vera-b

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              #21
              Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

              I'm sorry, Rachelita. Looks like we cross posted. I did not realize you were clinically depressed. I don't know enough about it to know if there is any action you can take to improve your self image when battling depression. Is medication the only avenue to help? Are there natural supplements that are effective? Is there anything that can be done to battle depression?

              Vera-b

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                #22
                Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

                vera-b;439453 wrote: I'm sorry, Rachelita. Looks like we cross posted. I did not realize you were clinically depressed. I don't know enough about it to know if there is any action you can take to improve your self image when battling depression. Is medication the only avenue to help? Are there natural supplements that are effective? Is there anything that can be done to battle depression?

                Vera-b
                For a person who is actively abusing alcohol, the best thing to do to battle depression (calling it "clinical" depression does not really mean anything in particular) is to quit drinking. Meds are not effective for folks who are drinking. Getting off the alcohol is likely to reduce or eliminate the symptoms of "clinical" depression. Along with getting off the alcohol, exercise and psychotherapy would be very helpful. And two out of three of those things are free (getting off the alcohol, and exercise)!

                wip

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                  #23
                  Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

                  Well, for what it's worth, a therapist told me flat out, that stopping drinking (well, i interpret it as stopping over-drinking) would do a lot more for me than taking an anti-depressant in terms of helping with depression. After two months of following this advice (in that time no more than 10 normal drinks per week), plus a lot of other things, I have to agree.

                  Think of avoiding alcohol as if you are taking a treatment. Honestly, it's easier that way. I mean, as much as we self-destruct there's a part of us that wants to be well I believe.

                  Are there any sources of free therapy in your area? Some advanced psych students offer cheap rates.

                  The good thing about the problem mainly lying in yourself is that you hold a lot of the power to healing.

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                    #24
                    Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

                    Rachelita, Nancy makes a good point about the psych students. The university in your city would be a great place to start. (I used to live there and went to school there.)

                    Your neighbor, CS

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                      #25
                      Sensitive=more prone to alcohol abuse

                      Nancy and CS,
                      I'll look into it, thanks for the advice
                      It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission.

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