Well, it's this issue of cause and effect that is so hard to get to grips with when you feel depressed.
You feel depressed and drinking seems like the effect of feeling so bad and being desperate for relief. And it some ways, it does offer relief. It relieves anxiety initially. But if you do some reading up on it on this website, you see that what it really does is physically cause depression and other emotional problems. So it's a cause and effect of drinking.
You may have alienated those who love you because maybe they are exasperated at not being able to help. I am sure they still love you but maybe some will keep their distance just to avoid the pain of seeing you harm yourself. But the most important person here is you. Do you love yourself? Are you going to decide to help yourself? Are you on your own side? What kind of messages to you send yourself? If these things are not there, all the love in the world from the outside is not going to help you. (In my opinion and from my experience)
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