As some of you know, I`ve had a particularly difficult week, alternating between feeling overwhelmed and empowered.
The thing is.........I`m coping very well with my AF life now........my thoughts may sometimes wander to drink, but.........it really is just the occasional thought (no actual cravings, thank God!!!).........I cannot imagine that I will ever again go there, although I remain very vigilant, after all........"never say never" and all that, right? I can recall the night I quit drinking just as if it were yesterday.........it was traumatic to say the least, and, I`m not sure that I could ever put myself through that again, so.........best steer clear of booze altogether so as not to have to endure another night like that. I shudder to think.............
I think I`m finally moving on from the actual quit.........I no longer really see myself as someone who has quit drinking.........I just think of myself as someone who doesn`t drink and I don`t lose any sleep over it........it`s fine..........I could even go as far as to say that it`s pleasant.
I have been very distressed this week, simply because.........all the while I have not been drinking.........I have been burying my head in the sand and refusing to address any of my real and urgent problems. I ignored some then minor problems when still in my drunken stupor days and.........despite having sobered up.........I continued to ignore those problems for months...........I finally took my head out the sand about 10 days ago and accepted that I have to face the music for ignoring the little problems of long ago..........I now find they`ve snowballed into great giant mountains..........I have to act NOW or suffer the avalanche.
The good (good??
:H) news is..........I am down but far from beaten. I have already did extensive research to see what courses of action are available to me to salvage the situation and tomorrow I am seeking independent advice to allow me to identfy the best way to go.
I am feeling lighter of heart, simply because, I now realise that whatever our problems........there is always a way out if we learn to look hard enough and in the right places.
I think my own situation must reflect that of many who quit drinking, in that so many of us can accrue huge problems which we ignore whilst still drinking. Those problems are laid bare once sober and admittedly, I was sh**-scared to confront them, but only by doing so can I ever move forward and begin to actually enjoy my sobriety. I have bust a gut for sobriety, just as we all have done or are trying to do. I want some joy out of life now and...........I am so going to get it, right??!!! :H
Wish me luck for tomorrow then, please.
Star x
The thing is.........I`m coping very well with my AF life now........my thoughts may sometimes wander to drink, but.........it really is just the occasional thought (no actual cravings, thank God!!!).........I cannot imagine that I will ever again go there, although I remain very vigilant, after all........"never say never" and all that, right? I can recall the night I quit drinking just as if it were yesterday.........it was traumatic to say the least, and, I`m not sure that I could ever put myself through that again, so.........best steer clear of booze altogether so as not to have to endure another night like that. I shudder to think.............
I think I`m finally moving on from the actual quit.........I no longer really see myself as someone who has quit drinking.........I just think of myself as someone who doesn`t drink and I don`t lose any sleep over it........it`s fine..........I could even go as far as to say that it`s pleasant.
I have been very distressed this week, simply because.........all the while I have not been drinking.........I have been burying my head in the sand and refusing to address any of my real and urgent problems. I ignored some then minor problems when still in my drunken stupor days and.........despite having sobered up.........I continued to ignore those problems for months...........I finally took my head out the sand about 10 days ago and accepted that I have to face the music for ignoring the little problems of long ago..........I now find they`ve snowballed into great giant mountains..........I have to act NOW or suffer the avalanche.
The good (good??
:H) news is..........I am down but far from beaten. I have already did extensive research to see what courses of action are available to me to salvage the situation and tomorrow I am seeking independent advice to allow me to identfy the best way to go.I am feeling lighter of heart, simply because, I now realise that whatever our problems........there is always a way out if we learn to look hard enough and in the right places.
I think my own situation must reflect that of many who quit drinking, in that so many of us can accrue huge problems which we ignore whilst still drinking. Those problems are laid bare once sober and admittedly, I was sh**-scared to confront them, but only by doing so can I ever move forward and begin to actually enjoy my sobriety. I have bust a gut for sobriety, just as we all have done or are trying to do. I want some joy out of life now and...........I am so going to get it, right??!!! :H
Wish me luck for tomorrow then, please.
Star x
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