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Now for the hard work...........

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    Now for the hard work...........

    As some of you know, I`ve had a particularly difficult week, alternating between feeling overwhelmed and empowered.

    The thing is.........I`m coping very well with my AF life now........my thoughts may sometimes wander to drink, but.........it really is just the occasional thought (no actual cravings, thank God!!!).........I cannot imagine that I will ever again go there, although I remain very vigilant, after all........"never say never" and all that, right? I can recall the night I quit drinking just as if it were yesterday.........it was traumatic to say the least, and, I`m not sure that I could ever put myself through that again, so.........best steer clear of booze altogether so as not to have to endure another night like that. I shudder to think.............

    I think I`m finally moving on from the actual quit.........I no longer really see myself as someone who has quit drinking.........I just think of myself as someone who doesn`t drink and I don`t lose any sleep over it........it`s fine..........I could even go as far as to say that it`s pleasant.

    I have been very distressed this week, simply because.........all the while I have not been drinking.........I have been burying my head in the sand and refusing to address any of my real and urgent problems. I ignored some then minor problems when still in my drunken stupor days and.........despite having sobered up.........I continued to ignore those problems for months...........I finally took my head out the sand about 10 days ago and accepted that I have to face the music for ignoring the little problems of long ago..........I now find they`ve snowballed into great giant mountains..........I have to act NOW or suffer the avalanche.

    The good (good?? :H) news is..........I am down but far from beaten. I have already did extensive research to see what courses of action are available to me to salvage the situation and tomorrow I am seeking independent advice to allow me to identfy the best way to go.

    I am feeling lighter of heart, simply because, I now realise that whatever our problems........there is always a way out if we learn to look hard enough and in the right places.

    I think my own situation must reflect that of many who quit drinking, in that so many of us can accrue huge problems which we ignore whilst still drinking. Those problems are laid bare once sober and admittedly, I was sh**-scared to confront them, but only by doing so can I ever move forward and begin to actually enjoy my sobriety. I have bust a gut for sobriety, just as we all have done or are trying to do. I want some joy out of life now and...........I am so going to get it, right??!!! :H

    Wish me luck for tomorrow then, please.

    Star x
    Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

    #2
    Now for the hard work...........

    Wishing you BIG luck tomorrow and thereafter, Star! Great post.

    wip

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      #3
      Now for the hard work...........

      well I hope you do , you certainly deserve it.

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        #4
        Now for the hard work...........

        I'll be there right beside you tomorrow, Star......I hope you can get some answers...

        Don :l

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          #5
          Now for the hard work...........

          Starlight
          I completely relate to your entire post. I too have allowed problems to snowball while I was drinking. In fact in some ways the problems were the cause of me starting to have a problem with alcohol.
          So now here we are sober and facing the problems that we did not deal with for all that time. In some ways it is extermely scary and overwhelming, but in other ways I am proud of myself for being able to finally make the tough decisions and the life changing choices that should have been made along time ago.
          I wish you luck tomorrow and I know that you will be happier when you are able to get the answers you need to make those decisions.I also know that there are many here to help you through the next steps. Let us all know how it goes.

          Comment


            #6
            Now for the hard work...........

            Hi Star. Some very poignant words in you post that i can relate to my own situation at present. I guess I'm not ready to open up about them yet on the forum but thank god for people like you who give me the strength and wisdom to know that.

            God bless you my friend and whatever endeavors are coming your way i hope you find the resolve you're looking for. Here for you if you need to talk tomorrow.

            Love Hips
            xxxx
            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
            Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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              #7
              Now for the hard work...........

              Good luck Star!

              I am sure you will get where you want to be in the near future.

              Comment


                #8
                Now for the hard work...........

                Star,
                I feel like you just posted my story...I imagine many of us can relate to the fact that when they become sober they realize the problems they have drowned out in a bottle have become monumentous because of neglect. Many of us will undergo life changing events as consequenses for our neglect but we'll make it out the other side and we will have "grown" in our experiences. I wish us all good, positive futures without the benefit of alcohol!!!
                Kriger
                "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

                Comment


                  #9
                  Now for the hard work...........

                  Star, I resonate with many of the things you say. It is a similar position for me just now. I call it the "Now whats?" Now I am sober I need to deal with the tough stuff.
                  It sounds like you have exactly the right attitude to move forward with your life.
                  I wish you all the luck in the world and have a feeling that you will find all that joy you seek.
                  Good luck!
                  Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                  Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Now for the hard work...........

                    Hi Star
                    I think you have hit the nail on the head, drinking not only boots our confidence it also keeps our real self hidden. Always new I drank too much but thought because my behaviour did'nt change that it was OK for me and now faced with some critical personal problems am finally ready to face the real issues. Have been in therapy (not for drinking) for a few months now and am currently working on "Recovery on Your Inner Child" very hard hitting but can already see why patterns have formed. First day of 30 day AF - did have all April sober but have slipped back into old comfortable routine of drinking. Really great you are seeking help - hope all goes well.
                    Margierose

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Now for the hard work...........

                      I can so relate! I wish us all well on our journeys. I am starting to realize that "cleaning" up our lives is where the real work begins.
                      "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Now for the hard work...........

                        My dear old friend Star. You know I have been writing about this for some time now. How do we deal with our sober problems as sober people? We never really had to do that before, did we? But I am certainly glad that you and I are doing it without AL, as hard as that may be at times. It is much better that way. We'll do it. I'm not always sure how from day to day, but I know we will. We've come this far, so we'll get the rest of the way.
                        Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Now for the hard work...........

                          Facing our issues is a key thing...working on mine with some good days and some not so good.
                          AF with a few speed bumps during 2014 & 2015 but will succeed.
                          As of 4/12/2014 I have not smoked at all and feel great.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Now for the hard work...........

                            Hey Star -

                            I can surely relate too !
                            Your honesty and courage are glorious.
                            Wishing you all good luck tomorrow :l

                            Love ww xox

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Now for the hard work...........

                              Hi Star
                              Oh Yes I do know what you are saying there!
                              No matter how many times I bury my head
                              then come up for air....hello the reason for
                              doing it in the first place is...yes....still there!
                              Yes I am learning...albeit slowly.:H
                              Great post :l Pan

                              Comment

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