why can't I let go of the past?
Hi Dex,
Just lost the reply I wrote for you, so will try again. Your pain is certainly understandable. When we give our heart and soul to another person (and 15 years of marriage is no small gesture!) we get equal parts joy and vulnerability. And when that vulnerability is filled with pain, it's a very dark place to be. No doubt your ex's remarriage and your own financial situation only make matters worse. I hesitate to offer my thoughts as I haven't been in your shoes. But I'm going to take the plunge because if I was in your position, I'd want my friends to be honest and loving with me. So here goes.
I think some emotions and situations are far more difficult than we mere mortals are equipped to handle with our limited tool chests. We can try the books, think our way to a better place, or closet ourselves in an ashram; and if any of these work, great. But if I were in the same place as you, I would hope I could look to the creator of the universe and in all honesty say "Lord, I am hurting so much. Please help me." If my faith is not available to help me in my time of great need, then what exactly is the point? I do think we are meant to be in relationship with our maker, and that shouldering our burdens when they are too heavy to carry is part of the deal.
No matter what you choose to do to deal with all of this, Dex, know that there are many people who truly care about you. Count me in that group.
Vera-b
Hi Dex,
Just lost the reply I wrote for you, so will try again. Your pain is certainly understandable. When we give our heart and soul to another person (and 15 years of marriage is no small gesture!) we get equal parts joy and vulnerability. And when that vulnerability is filled with pain, it's a very dark place to be. No doubt your ex's remarriage and your own financial situation only make matters worse. I hesitate to offer my thoughts as I haven't been in your shoes. But I'm going to take the plunge because if I was in your position, I'd want my friends to be honest and loving with me. So here goes.
I think some emotions and situations are far more difficult than we mere mortals are equipped to handle with our limited tool chests. We can try the books, think our way to a better place, or closet ourselves in an ashram; and if any of these work, great. But if I were in the same place as you, I would hope I could look to the creator of the universe and in all honesty say "Lord, I am hurting so much. Please help me." If my faith is not available to help me in my time of great need, then what exactly is the point? I do think we are meant to be in relationship with our maker, and that shouldering our burdens when they are too heavy to carry is part of the deal.
No matter what you choose to do to deal with all of this, Dex, know that there are many people who truly care about you. Count me in that group.
Vera-b
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