I know that my family comes before anything..
I know its far over due that i become the dad that i know i can be..The husband Lisa deserves..
So why...Why...Am i starting to be selfish and think that after the 27th..I can never go out of a night and enjoy a night out..
I put myself through this last time..Torturing myself..Telling myself...Thats it now..you had your chance...you had your fun...you fucked up mate and you blew it..
This is my main problem...I look to far ahead...i should look at the immediate benefits...enjoy them..and continue enjoying them...I just get weak points like tonight...Thinking....im 32...and it's game over..
I dunno...i got...like a lot of people here...absolute shit loads going through my head..Too much to process at the moment..
I know im doing the right thing...Its just so final..
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