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AF Army 18th October 2008

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    #106
    AF Army 18th October 2008

    WIP, Welcome Back...I didn't know you were going to ARK til I saw some pics...what was going on there pray tell?
    I am the one meeting Rubes if she is communicating by then. I have to wait until the baby is born then the plane ticket gets purchased, then I go...Probably early Nov. I don't have address, phone or anything but MWO modes of communication with her. I worry about her head injury....that kind of injury is nothing to mess with!
    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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      #107
      AF Army 18th October 2008

      Not worth killing him One - I don't think they'd let you take Alfie to prison with you, LOL
      It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

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        #108
        AF Army 18th October 2008

        Oney, Is Rob off to sleep by now? Maybe you'll get your "me time" when he finally falls asleep!!
        "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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          #109
          AF Army 18th October 2008

          Oh Crap. One2, You just made me think. Now what the Hell did you go and do that for? lol What if I am at the meeting with Gary and Mr. Warm Hands is ther. Uh Oh.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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            #110
            AF Army 18th October 2008

            Get that blunt one out Oney....you need your time alone for heaven's sake!!!!!
            "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

            Comment

              #111
              AF Army 18th October 2008

              Oh Poooooo, That would suck, Sea!
              "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

              Comment

                #112
                AF Army 18th October 2008

                OK, don't kill him YET, OneTwo. Read this article first, about how to successfully train a husband by using animal training methods. Here's the link, and here's an excerpt:
                The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

                Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.

                I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything.

                I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Enlightened trainers learn all they can about a species, from anatomy to social structure, to understand how it thinks, what it likes and dislikes, what comes easily to it and what doesn't. For example, an elephant is a herd animal, so it responds to hierarchy. It cannot jump, but can stand on its head. It is a vegetarian.

                The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven.

                Once I started thinking this way, I couldn't stop. At the school in California, I'd be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I'd be thinking, "I can't wait to try this on Scott."

                On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept.

                Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously.

                At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked.

                I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away.

                In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott!"

                It was only a matter of time before he was again tearing around the house searching for his keys, at which point I said nothing and kept at what I was doing. It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel.

                Now he's at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. Then, sure enough, all goes quiet. A moment later, he walks into the kitchen, keys in hand, and says calmly, "Found them."

                Without turning, I call out, "Great, see you later."

                Comment

                  #113
                  AF Army 18th October 2008

                  LMFAO One2 God I love ya Girl.:H
                  "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

                  Comment

                    #114
                    AF Army 18th October 2008

                    Hey Wipper Snapper, Tomorrow is your 90 days, right????
                    I love that exerpt....I'm going to read it over a few times before I begin implementation. Hubby already practices the ignoring strategy when I am raging around the house looking for something. I do ignore son when he runs screaming thru the house looking for something. We have that one down pretty good in our household and it has made a big difference in our temper tantrums....they are almost non-existent any longer. KriggenBottom
                    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

                    Comment

                      #115
                      AF Army 18th October 2008

                      Oney, You make me roll on the floor laughing....I am dead serious. You should be a stand up comedian. You've got lots of material-that's for sure!!!
                      "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

                      Comment

                        #116
                        AF Army 18th October 2008

                        Hey, Kriger, 90 days for me, I think, is Monday? I am not good at counting days, from one month to the next! But I think Monday. Thanks for thinking of it!

                        wip

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                          #117
                          AF Army 18th October 2008

                          Suggestion: Do not kneel down and sit back on your feet while blow drying hair. Me peggers went numb. I cannot stand up.lol
                          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                            #118
                            AF Army 18th October 2008

                            Almost ready. I just might be on time for once.lol.
                            Help!!! I just banged my ingrown toenail. Oh Feck!!! Need Hipps and Det to remove it. Owww!!!
                            "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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