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    #1

    Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

    Am talking therapy here. Do you think it`s vital if we are to remain sober?

    I never asked myself this question before I became sober........wouldn`t even have occurred to me to do so.

    In the early stages of my sobriety I would have answered that "No........therapy is not vital to remaining sober."

    Now that I`m a little further down the line, I find my opinion changing as I now feel that I have to get to the bottom of my discontent to protect my sobriety, and I think therapy may well be the way forward for me.

    My general opinion of therapy used to be that it was too much trouble, too long-winded and maybe even too far-fetched in many ways. I`m only just realising that I can no longer afford to have such a laissez-faire attitude, if I am ever to really find my niche in this life.

    So.........how do you feel as regards therapy for us ?

    Star x
    Formerly known as Starlight Impress.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

    I am a believer that therapy helps many people find their way. If you find yourself at that stage where you are wondering....what next? Is this all there is? Maybe therapy would be a good way to sort things out. It is an individual decision....only you know what's best for Star. Getting to the bottom of discontentment would be a good reason for me to seek help, especially if it is there all the time. If you get sad or discontented only occasionally, I might be inclined to call that everyday normal life. I think you were talking in general terms about us all, as problem drinkers or alcoholics and I don't think that is a question that really has a "general" answer. Each of us is different....so are our jouneys. JMHO
    Krigs
    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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      #3
      Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

      You are definitely going to hear both sides of the argument here but for me personally therapy has done nothing. Why? Because I know what I need to be doing, I know what my issues are, I know what I need to do to deal with them. No amount of talking to someone about me, me, me is going to change the brain chemistry I have been given and frankly I feel more well informed than many therapists, especially as it pertains to this addiction. The last therapist I had I finally admitted my problem and her wise answer? Yep, the good old "well just don't pick up the glass." Ya think Sherlock??????

      This is not to say that I am sure there are some wonderful therapists out there who could probably make me change my mind but I sometimes feel as if therapy keeps us stuck in our past if that makes any sense.
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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        #4
        Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

        IMO, we all need to do some form of emotional work when we get sober because we are now thinking, reacting & living in a new mindset... our old ways of dealing with life's situations no longer work....they no longer fit.
        Therapy can take on many forms..it can be professional help, it can also be found in reading material, friends, or even in our own quiet meditative state. To me, therapy is the act of looking inwards... realizing why we feel & react as we do... and work at becoming a fully functional, enlightened human being.
        AF 6 years
        NF 7 years

        A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

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          #5
          Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

          Yes agreed. Therapy can take many forms, not just going to a therapist.
          I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

          Comment

            #6
            Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

            The only correct answer (and I've been on both sides of this one, therapist and client... and also a person who teaches grad students how to do therapy), in my opinion is: it depends! On the person seeking therapy, and what her problems might be (alcohol dependence, plus x y or z other problems), and also on the therapist, and on the fit (or not) between the two, and on the type of training the therapist has... So many important factors, it's impossible to give a yes-or-no answer...

            Also, the bad news is, I have found that many, many, many therapists are just plain incompetent. They will offer to "treat" anybody who walks in the door for durn near anything, and then sit and chat with the person for years, if allowed to do so. It is shameful. Really good and competent therapists are out there, but they are very hard to find.

            wip

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              #7
              Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

              Different opinion again Star...I would say go with your instincts...Only you know what you need...Your body might be telling you something...

              And hay...If you try it... and its crap...At least you'll know..

              The fact that you acknowlege you need more help to become what you want shows more battles after alcahol...Is an eyeopener..
              Do whatever it takes...Your only here once..
              I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
              One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

              Comment

                #8
                Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                To me, it is (was) very important, but you have to be willing to learn from and accept what you are being told. No amount of therapy in the world will help if your mind is closed to it.

                I didn't drink because I really, really liked blacking out and disappointing my family... I drank to escape the perceived problems in my life. In doing so I became much more withdrawn from life, and needed help to get the old me back.
                Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

                Comment

                  #9
                  Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                  I think it depends on who you get. And as WIP says, there are a lot of incompetent therapists out there. One told me that there was no way I could develop alternatives to drinking for stress unless i first became abstinent and that alcoholism was always a progressive disease. I dropped her and found out she was flat out wrong on both counts.

                  A good therapist can help you out of ruts and to be more positive and constructive about your life.

                  I always ask them if they are active because the passive ones are useless. You need someone who will offer suggestions and take a stand on some things. In my opinion, a good therapist can offer better advice than loved ones-- friends and family.

                  Sounds like Lushy already has that self-awareness and it's just a matter of acting on it, so for her therapy is not very useful. How self-aware are you Star? Could you use some help there? I thought I was self-aware but actually had some distorted negative thinking to work out. A good therapist can offer tips on navigating your way through life and getting better coping mechanisms.

                  It doesn't have to be a big long relationship Star, you could tell them you want to do some short-term therapy to work on a few issues, help you get into a better direction. And do recap the past for their knowledge, but otherwise focus on the present or future. I have been interested in the posts we have seen recently about how bad it is to relive bad memories.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                    I feel this site is my therapy, at least in regard to alcohol. People with experience tell me things I need to know. I ask questions, get a range of answers. Works for me.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                      Well, this is interesting thus far and much as I expected, in that most of you think that therapy could be a valid input, depending upon the individual and the obvious point that good therapists are few and far between.

                      I had also thought about therapy not having to be a face-to-face consultation, so........how about self-help therapy as in appropriate reading........what do you think ?

                      Am very mixed up, I suppose.......just finding that being sober isn`t really the continuously joyous experience I had anticipated........the honeymoon period is certainly over for me, but.........I`m not actually miserable ( :H ), just acutely aware of this underlying discontent.

                      I am also very lucky in that there are no great traumas in my past, just a series of rash decisions which seem to have manifested themselves in this sense of being not quite as good as it gets or as happy as I can be.

                      Am not meaning to moan.........I do appreciate where I`m at........just thinking out loud, I suppose.

                      Star x
                      Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                        Star. My account as follows:

                        I first went into therapy or counseling at a very early age. I was about 18 at the time and drinking heavily because of an incident that happened to me when I was a year younger. I went to short-term counseling for about 16 weeks. I was fortunate to speak to a guy who had gone through the same experience and that made things a lot easier with me opening up about what had happened to me. Admittedly I was at my wits end and on Seroxat at the time. I couldn't talk to anyone about it as the experience was so horrific and probably, as I thought, unheard of at that time. I felt though the counseling was short-lived. I felt great getting things off my chest finally and I was happy for a while. But I felt I needed that counseling at the time to last longer. Probably like in the US where I could go and see him every week after those 16 initial weeks.

                        My second time in Therapy was about 10 years later and when I first had the response from familly and friends that my drinking was way out of hand still. At that time I saw a very hippiefied/green type woman again who I thought was on my wavelength. I came out of those sessions smiling. I felt great afterwards and again this was short lived becuase I wasn't informed how to mantain that stability and happiniess within my life outside of the sessions. I actually remember coming out from about my 4th sessions feeling so high and so good about things that I actually went to the pub to celebrate my 'greatness'!!.

                        Last time I was in therapy was when I first took Antabuse in June last year which was part of the deal for my GP to presrcibe it to me. I entered into therapy again with a female who was the green/christian type this time. My sessions ended up me talking after about the 3rd to the last about my relationship with Sal. If I wanted relatioship counseling I would of gone to 'relate' I guess. But still I didn't get to the deep rooted problem that had been bugging me for years and why I first went into counsiling in the first place and probably the whole reason behind my truama.

                        The one thing I found or the common denominator with all my counseling sessions was the fact that I felt 'easy' with talking to my councilors. Now some may find that a good thing but for me I found that a hinderence. Reasons being is that they became in my eyes more of a friend than a counsilor. I saw them all in different lights after a few sessions and that blinded me as to what I needed to achieve within those sessions. I feel my last councilor should of 're-directed' me rather than let me rant on about my relationship problems. Before her Sally (yeah I still remember her name!) was too easy going I think. I may as well of been counselling her and her sea shell ear-rings shaped like dolphins (Don't even go there YOU!). First guy...........nuff said!

                        The key to counseling I think is like getting a sponsor in AA. don't pick the guy you feel is gonna talk shite with you all day about your past. Pick the guy who is gonna kick you up the arse when you need it and tell it how it is. If you feel you've got the wrong sponsor then say so and get another one. I'm sure if AAthlete reads this thread he will understand where I'm coming from. Don't sit there though for 16 or so weeks feeling like you're not getting anywhere.

                        Love and Happiness as always
                        Hippie
                        xx
                        "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                        Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                          #13
                          Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                          AAthlete;446032 wrote: To me, it is (was) very important, but you have to be willing to learn from and accept what you are being told. No amount of therapy in the world will help if your mind is closed to it.

                          I didn't drink because I really, really liked blacking out and disappointing my family... I drank to escape the perceived problems in my life. In doing so I became much more withdrawn from life, and needed help to get the old me back.
                          Well as I was writing my post the bugger has posted already I see!!!lol
                          Maybe you could clarify what I mean with my last paragraph AA?
                          "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                          Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                            Hippie is absolutely right that there is no point of sitting there for 16 weeks and getting nowhere.

                            I think you really can get very far with self-help, reading books, coming to a place like this. But face-to-face help is different because you get feedback from a professional. Self-help through books and face-to-face therapy are complementary.

                            It's great that you don't have old traumas to relive. So how could a therapist help? I imagine if your life is in transition you might get so depressed or confused that you get kind of paralyzed. A therapist might be able to help with that. And they might be able to help you more fully see the positive and enjoy that. I mean, your sobriety is an amazing achievement in itself.

                            Sounds like the greatest challenge for you is putting a new life together and getting through this period of frustration while you plant seeds everywhere and slowly rebuild. You need to do this without getting overwhelmed or stuck in the past. I suppose those things can be done with help from friends. But as I said before, a therapist can see through defense mechanisms and behavior that will derail your best efforts.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

                              I have been seeing an 'alcohol' therapist since around July, and have found it vital in getting to the bottom of why i drink. I have learnt alot about myself and why i do what i do. Things i kept burried inside, and didnt even know about. For me it has been vital this time around.
                              I have quit for a long time before, but used nothing but will power. But i think i started again because i hadnt dealt with my 'inner' issues.
                              I feel i have really moved on since going and look forward to our next meeting.
                              To Infinity And Beyond!!

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