Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Hmmmm nancy........that`s a little disconcerting but something of which I should be very wary........"defence mechanisms and behaviour that will derail your best efforts".........I`m very much a creature of habit, something of a stick-in-the-mud. I do feel very "stuck" at this time.........the all talk and no action syndrome has more or less been the story of my life, hence the discontent.

I need to find something that can help me give myself an almighty push forward. I vaguely know where I want to go, but sometimes I doubt myself, wonder if I really have it in me to change my life and if I do have it in me, how do I find the strength to bring it forth from this someone who hasn`t been much of an anything to date???

Star x

[FallenAngel]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Starlight Impress Forever;446089 wrote:
I need to find something that can help me give myself an almighty push forward. I vaguely know where I want to go, but sometimes I doubt myself, wonder if I really have it in me to change my life and if I do have it in me, how do I find the strength to bring it forth from this someone who hasn`t been much of an anything to date???

Sounds to me like you're searching more for your true purpose in life, than you are therapy.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Fallen......that is exactly IT.......you`ve hit the nail on the head.

I have no wish to rake over old coals........I don`t want to relive the past........there is nothing there that`s even vaguely disturbing, save for the usual shit, which I believe is the run-of-the-mill trials and tribulations of life.

So........you`ve just made me realise.........it`s my true purpose in life I seek. I`ve only recently come to accept that life is what we make it. I`ll never be really happy until I am able to find my true passion in life and live accordingly. I feel adrift.........I`m 43 for God`s sake, and.........I still don`t know what I really want or need.

Where do I go from here ?..........who knows ?........only know I have to find my way forward as a follow-up to my way out.

Star x

[lucky 2.0]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

My $0.02 is if anyone is going into therapy they should state their goals and what they hope to accomplish in a well defined period of time. If the therapist is on board with the goal, it might work. Going for an open-ended period of time is like wallowing in mud to me.

Good luck to you!

[lushy]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

I totally relate Star. I feel very stagnant at this stage of my life as my daughter does not need me as much and there is always that question of "now what?" But you have done something remarkable by giving up an addiction that is hard to beat so focus on that positive for now. The rest will fall into place.

[hippie37]

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Star. Do you remember last summer when I was stuck in this search for, what I called, the holy grail. It's quite a paradox really. The more you search for it the more unhappy you become trying find it. I truly believe in an alternative approach these days which I've commented on many times.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Boss.man]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

I'm with Lushy's first post, and WIP is always the voice of wisdom as well as others.

I think overall we need to "remake" our habits, and part of that is to literally "trade addictions". Basically to find another interest as compelling and interesting as drinking used to be.

Going to therapists may cost as much money, but I don't feel it will be compelling in the long run. I think a better route is to be like those model train nuts, or old car geeks, or marathon runners, or volunteers, or any other person with an "addiction" that others admire. Let that interest use up your mental space and time so there's no more room for cravings.

[Accountable for Me]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

I loved my last therapist. He was so very good and really helped me with a lot of the issues that drove me to drink, and rebel. I wish I could of moved him to my city when I moved.

I personally chose to seek help. I honestly believed I would of stayed 'stale' and 'stuck' without it. It was an investment in myself.

I must admit that I have been lazy and have not found another one here. I like having things put into perspective for me. I like to know that many of my issues were because of a hard childhood, low self esteem and alcohol. I love that I leave these sessions with sense of hope and energy to make me want to become a better person with a sense of belonging in this world. Mine was really great at helping me set goals.

I think it is a personal choice. You are not bound and gagged there. If you don't like it or feel as you aren't getting anywhere you can stop going. All the best to you.

[LVT25]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Star--

I can relate somewhat. I do feel like a different person. I have changed in a lot of ways since sobering up. One thing I've done, is force myself to step out of "my comfort zone." Does that make any sense? I've volunteered to do things that scare the hell out of me, and have come away from the experiences feeling really good!

[FallenAngel]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Starlight Impress Forever;446112 wrote: I`ve only recently come to accept that life is what we make it. I`ll never be really happy until I am able to find my true passion in life and live accordingly.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately. The books "A New Earth" and "The Power of Now" have drastically changed my way of thinking. For me, I believe this is the direction I need to take to find my true self and personal peace.

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Well, it really helps to think that so many of you understand me and can relate somewhat to how I currently feel.

LVT25, all that you`ve just said makes perfect sense to me. Indeed, I think that`s partly where I`m going wrong in life........I keep asking myself what I want out of life and what I`m getting out of life.

It`s said that "to give is to receive", which makes me think that perhaps I`m too self-centred. I understand things better tonight, that it`s not all about ME.........it`s time for me to be more of a giver and in becoming so, perhaps I`ll feel more worthy of any life at all. Yes, I really do have so much for which to be thankful.

Am going to bed now. Am feeling much better.........heartfelt thanks to each of you for sharing your thoughts with me.

Star x

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Fallen, I will check out the books.........thank you.

Star x

[Lila]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

I had a wonderful therapist! He kicked me out after a few months and said I had resolved my core issues, but I could always come and see him. Sometimes before I saw him I thought I was getting a virus, had the flu or whatever, because I would feel exhausted. Then I got there and felt totally normal. I am very kinetic, I think, and my body was resisting my growth a bit. Does this post make sense? He was on a mission to liberate people. Maybe I would see him now, because of everything, but he was more of a core issues person...and now my issues are more like adjusting to changes and a new life, and all these stresses I have had lately.
I would think an older therapist is better. An addict. Not someone who is just shuffling papers, and making conclusions.

[brittzak]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

I believe it is more beneficial to obtain therapy as a GROUP...and GROUP that understands your issues with drinking. People that can offer LIFE experience. Just my two cents....of course I am still nuts, so who knows..LOL

[Lila]

Curious as to the general opinion on this.........

Mine was group too, for me it was about other issues...very powerful. I agree.