AF Army 25th october

[cymru]

Cant say much, but i wanted to do this. Remember the clocks go back tnt.

[DeeBee]

AF Army 25th october

How you doing?

[cymru]

AF Army 25th october

not bad. G/F will be pissed when she sees ive posted here.

[DeeBee]

AF Army 25th october

So no resolution on that then?

This is where you need to be Cy.... pity she can't see that and support you:l

[startingover]

AF Army 25th october

Kp I am glad to see you here.
Take care buddy

Hi Deebers, how are you doing?

[DeeBee]

AF Army 25th october

Morning Starts! I'm good thanks, just chilling till lunch time then heading down to the folks?
What you got planned today - anything exciting? Oh hang on didn't I read that you are with you in-laws this weekend?

[bloggy]

AF Army 25th october

Cy

I understand your GF to a point- but there are lots of dynamics at work in any relationship- it will most certainly not be a black and white thing like 'You spend all your time there, and ignore me' although such an explanation is likely to be given.

I was bought up in a home where even as young kids we were left to get on with our own devices- sometimes I would get in from school and there would be no food at home- I was expected then to go to a friends house or something- it was not a case of waiting for mum to get home with the shopping as it might never happen.
Because of my upbringing I am very independant- I tend to be the giver, and HATE asking anyone for help.
My boyfriend is another way- he has a strong need to be needed. (He was basically not wanted from day 1 and just passed around, so this is understandable) This need is quite well satisfied through his work- most of the time people are desperate for his services round here. While in his personal life he is stuck with me- the last person on the planet who wants to be 'needy!'
I have sometimes wondered if in a way my drinking has satisfied that want in him- the only time I am needy is when I am drunk. Need to be picked up as I can't drive, need him to do other stuff as I am too wasted.
I am not saying he likes me to get drunk, but it does satisfy a very primitive urge in him I imagine.

I think you and your girlfriend need to look deeper at the issues and what exactly are her needs that she feels are not being met when you are here? Maybe like my BF she needs to be needed and while you are here you are not filling that because you are turning to other people? MY BF wouldn't give 2 monkies if I spend 20 hrs a day on a site- but I imagine he might be hurt if he felt I needed a bunch of strangers more than him.

I have never mentioned MWO to him- the same as I do not expect him to mention his geeky tech stuff forums to me- well not on a regular basis anyway.

I am of course only comparing our relationship to what I know of yours, and how I deal with the time I spend here, but maybe some things apply to you as well?

I am worried about the ultimatum- I can't see how such a thing will work- it will only cause resentment and most likely you going off drinking as a way of saying 'There I told you so!'...And we all know that could be life threatening.

I do hope everything works out well for you both- I know you were seeing a councillor, I think you might need some outside advice on this one?

[startingover]

AF Army 25th october

Yep, I am at the seaside chilling too! I love coming here, we get pampered and go on long walks. Today it will be about 8 miles by the sea and through beautiful countryside its chlly and bright....lovely.Rejuvinates me so much.
Chillin is the BEST :-)

[startingover]

AF Army 25th october

Marby you are one wise lady you know!
Listen to her KP.

I cant wait for you to come back to the thread you are sorely missed. Next week is the day isnt it?

[bloggy]

AF Army 25th october

Hi Starts, Hi deebers!

Just popped in quick to say HI

Deebers I read that book you recommended by Brandon Bays- it was excellent

[bloggy]

AF Army 25th october

I have an appointment with a therapist on Thursday- she specialises in the book I just mentioned 'The Journey' I am very excited! And nervous

[DeeBee]

AF Army 25th october

That does sound bliss! It is pissing buckets here today, so I am snuggled up with my 'puter for a bit.

Hi Marbs, been thinking about you - you doing okay? How is the shop coming along... when do I need to be there for shopfitting lol!

[DeeBee]

AF Army 25th october

marbella;451905 wrote: I have an appointment with a therapist on Thursday- she specialises in the book I just mentioned 'The Journey' I am very excited! And nervous

Marbs, that is great! I would love to hear how it goes. I have yet to finish the book as it talks about a CD that should come with it, so I have got my local libuary trying to hunt it down. I would love to see someone who could help me in the way she does... I don't have anyone that I trust enough to try it with on my own.

[bloggy]

AF Army 25th october

Shop is nearly ready for opening- just need to stock up, but I have had to ask for a loan, but should be open for the 4th of November

Glad you are having a nice weekend away Starts!

[bloggy]

AF Army 25th october

DeeBee;451908 wrote: Marbs, that is great! I would love to hear how it goes. I have yet to finish the book as it talks about a CD that should come with it, so I have got my local libuary trying to hunt it down. I would love to see someone who could help me in the way she does... I don't have anyone that I trust enough to try it with on my own.

I was thrilled to see there is a therapist in Barcelona (1 hr away) I really did not expect it.

On the phone she told me addictions are just a way of not feeling our emotions- drinking is drowning them, smoking is choking them down and overeating is stuffing them back down.

She said the process is very difficult to do alone- I am really excited- thanks so much for recommending that book- as soon as I read your post it struck a chord in me