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    #1

    Need support advice please

    I've been modding quite well for a few weeks, getting ready to go af. Then lost it completely on Saturday. Spent most of yesterday sleeping & drinking it off. Hope to God that this is my wake up call.

    What happened is bad enough, got completely trashed, blacked out. Came to in the hospital, refused any help & left. The thing is tho - here's where I'd welcome some advice - this all happened very publicly, out with a close relative & his friends, all of them half my age. I don't remember much but guess I fell over (going by the bruises) & knocked myself out or passed out in front of all his friends. he took me to the hospital. He's upset & angry.

    Usually when I get into bad situations it's alone or with strangers so I only have to deal with my feelings. But I love this boy dearly & want to say something honest & sensible to him. He knows I have a drink problem but this is the 1st time it's impacted on him so directly. "Sorry" just sounds insincere. I don't want to burden him with this but I have to acknowledge what happened. Trying to avoid the shame game but this is a tough one

    Would welcome your thoughts
    :sun:
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    #2
    Need support advice please

    GG, I used to just hang my head in shame and pretend the incident never happened.... there were many of them too. I applaud you for your strength (although you probably don't think so right now) and your honesty.
    I don't have any advice on how to deal with this tho as like I mentioned I would just hide until I felt safe enough to surface again.
    Sending you my support!
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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      #3
      Need support advice please

      GG, just be honest with him and let him know that your realize it is a problem and that you are working a program to address it. Not sure that there is anything magical that you can say that will make him feel better. As with our families, actions usually speak louder than words when it comes to our drinking problem and this is one of those that make take some time to get through.

      Best of luck to you.
      Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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        #4
        Need support advice please

        im so sorry that happen to you .. yeah i would say its a wake up call from hell .. and as for you feeling shame dont beat yourself up for it .. learn from it ..use it to help you remember how you feel now ..the time is now to do your best to do anything and everything to help yourself .. and if he is a true friend ask for his help to .. but for now just wipe those tears away and lets do what you know has to be done .
        stay strong and think positive girl
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment

          #5
          Need support advice please

          Thanks guys
          Just being able to be honest with myself by sharing with you is a real comfort, thanks
          I know you're right AA, there's no 'right' thing to say.
          And thinking about my actions & choices makes a lot more sense than beating myself up
          :sun:

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            #6
            Need support advice please

            I understand how bad AL can embarrass us.IT IS HORRIBLE.I finally realized that AL was taking me, not me taking AL.I know that having antabuse and asking Hubby to make sure that I take it any time I am in danger of drinking has not only helped me but also helped him feel like he has a tool that he can use when I need help.Maybe if you asked him for help in the same way he will know that you are serious about wanting to quit and will believe that he can trust your sobriety.
            I remember the first post that you did and you have come a long way towards getting it together.I am sorry that you were embarrassed but very proud of how far you have come.
            sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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              #7
              Need support advice please

              GG, So sorry what has happened to you. I do feel for you. I've been there many times. Try to be good to yourself. I've had to start over many many times. Just remember this is the best place to be honest.

              Comment

                #8
                Need support advice please

                GG, as I had said many times now. I was AF for 47 days and thought I had a HANDLE on it. We went to my husband's co-workers wedding on a boat. I was just going to have ONE drink to be sociable. Well, long ugly story short. My husband had to basically CARRY ME OFF THE BOAT in front of everyone. Not only did I embarrass myself, but my poor husband. He was STUCK on the boat with me and couldn't leave, he had to stick it out the entire 4 hours of torture. In a way, it was good to see that I cannot be a modder. Me and alcohol just can't mix. I can't stop after just one drink and I get STUPID and say and DO stupid things I would never do sober. It may be a blessing in disguise. Maybe your relative can be there for you to CALL when you feel a need to drink. Be honest with him as you are with yourself. Hopefully he will be there for you. I know all too well the guilt and the shame, but the same guilt and shame is keeping me away from the AL.

                Best of luck.

                Mich
                :beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
                AF since 10/11/2008

                Comment

                  #9
                  Need support advice please

                  You are now the official designated driver when you go out with the younger generation.

                  I know you feel bad but don't beat yourself up.

                  Take it easy today,

                  Sammys

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Need support advice please

                    Hi Good, it's me DLW. we've visited in the chat room a few times. Remember I told you a few weeks ago that I hit rock bottom - and it was my wake up call- I have now been AF for 17 days. YOU can do it too. I know you can. You hit bottom this PAST weekend , just like me, and when you hit the bottom, there is no place to go but UP.
                    Chief and Starlight told me in the chat room to stop self guilt and lingering about the past, you have to look ahead to the future. This helped me a lot, and I know that you can do it too.
                    Keep moving FORWARD, not backwards. Get the frame of mind back that you had a week ago, and take it from there. - we're all in this together, lean on us
                    DLW
                    Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
                    And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



                    • Yesterday is History
                      Today is a Mystery
                      Tomorrow is a GIFT

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                      #11
                      Need support advice please

                      Thanks all for helping me through this. Felt so low today. Your words are soothing & sensible. It is starting to feel like a very much needed reality check. I have to make something good come out of this
                      :sun:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Need support advice please

                        GGold, glad you are feeling better. I re-read your first post, and have a question for you. You said that you had been
                        modding quite well for a few weeks, getting ready to go af
                        and I am wondering: maybe there is no time that will be better than now, to declare yourself ready to stop drinking? My own "day one" here at MWO was the day after what was, for me, an awful drinking episode. I did no other preparation than to get miserably drunk, followed by miserably hung over and desperately sick of alcohol and everything it had done, over the years, to my life and my relationships. Fortunately, I found the MWO site on that day. Eventually I got a bunch of supplements, and gradually put into place what I now feel is a solid program/plan for ongoing freedom from alcohol. So... since, as you say, you "have to make something good out of this," why not make it into something VERY good: stop drinking. That would be very good, indeed!

                        best wishes,

                        wip

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                          #13
                          Need support advice please

                          Yes WIP you're right. It's clear that "the time is now" as tlrgs said
                          :sun:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Need support advice please

                            GG, no words of wisdom but just wanted to lend you my support. I certainly have been in your position before. My best to you.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Need support advice please

                              Good for you, GGold!! Hold your head up high, stick to your guns, and let this become the best thing that ever happened for you; the last time you will EVER go through those awful feelings of shame and horror.

                              wip

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