Getting ones life straightened out.

[NorthWood]

I have came to belive that is what I need to do in order to get away from my bad habbits. I have read alot about addiction, rather it be drugs, gambling or whatever.
I like to drink. that is what I choose to do. I have a friend that loves to gamble, some like to eat. How one could gamble away ones money to the point of getting their car repossed or how one could enjoy eating till one gets morbidly obese makes absolutly no sence to me. They dont understand how I enjoy drinking to the point where I cant remember anything or am too drunk to drive.
I think I drink to fill a void in my life. Its relatively cheap, readily available and kills a bunch of unfilled time. Perfect for the needs that I have, probably the same for them. How does one get their mind adjusted to not need to fill that void? I assume it is by finding something positive to do in thoes moments of need. Something cheap, readily avabilable and must bring one enough 'pleasure' to make their minds choose it over something neg. like drugs, gambling, food or what ever.
Does anyone have ideas on how to get started on changing ones life so one wants to choose a positive path and will be apt to stick with it? I researched a 'life coach' on the internet. Sounded like a good path if one was working on job advancement, getting in shape ect.. They weren't cheap but I think it could be done if one needed a boot to get started.
Going back to school is anouther option. I know money,job,kids and career. It would be a 'd'itch but I bet it could be done over time. Ive been at my job for about half of my 30yr plan, I have a house full of kids a drawer full of bills and I havent had a day alone with my spouse since two weeks before the wedding so it would be silly to go back to school UNLESS I found a career I liked maybe then I would have fullfillment.
Exercise and anti-drinking drugs are great but I still dont think they fill the void in me. I need to to have my mind so engulfed in something that I dont want to waste my time with getting drunk. I need to get myself in a place where my environment is not around drinking with drinkers at drinkeries.
I really do belive that getting myself out of this rut is what I need to do. Nothing else will make me want quit something permanently other than getting myself to a place where I have something I want to do more.
Like everything in life "If it were easy, everyone would be do'n it" I think that some people may have started out in live on the right path so it has been less of a struggle for them, then some of us chose a ruffer path and need to get to headded down the right path.
Just thought I throw that out. If any of you have some "life choice, boot in the arse, starter-up kit" let me know!

[DeeBee]

Getting ones life straightened out.

Have you considered looking inward as opposed to outward to fill your time?
In particular I am thinking of meditation and learning more about yourself spiritually.

I too sounded just like you not so long ago... what was I going to do with all this free time if I didn't drink? How would I keep myself busy? Well, the first couple of months I didn't really want to do anything socially as I was pretty much hiding from anyone that just might offer me a glass of wine and therefore break my resolve.... MWO was my lifesaver! Then the next couple of months came and went and with out even realising it I found that my weekends were just filled with all sorts of normal stuff which I hadn't done in years... going to the farmers market at 6am, taking my daughter to disco's in the evening, watching a good movie, reading books AND remembering the story.... an so on. I was having fun without AL!! Who would've thought!
Now I am ready to begin my spiritual journey and hope to fill that void inside me with new beliefs and healthy habits.

I must say tho that I embraced the MWO program fully and I don't believe I would have got here with out it.

Wishing you all the best!

[Guitarista]

Getting ones life straightened out.

Hi there North. I have been in a similar situation to you in the past. For me, i just had to stop drinking, and get a clear head, whether that be for a day, or 7, or 30 day's. The drink can cloud your mental reality too easily. So for me, the first thing i found i had to do after many attempt's was to get some sober time under my belt... How you do this is up to you, and this site is great for information,education and support... Try to read as many post's here as you can, and stick around, and get involved... I wish you luck, keep trying and you'll get there. Be well, G.

AF since October 26 2008.

[gyco]

Getting ones life straightened out.

hi north,your story is a lot like mine,your not alone,you have many alternatives,stopcold turkey,depending on how much and how long you drank,could be an overwhelming xperience,tell your wife who already knows the problem you want time off from work and check into a detox centr,who will help and make suggestions,or check into the emergency and xplain your delema,and they could put you in a sike ward for at least 3 days and again the person you see psycoligist or psychitrist,will also give an opinion,see your family GP and they will probably send you to the 2 i talked about earlier,or like me you could go onthe way you are and end with no choice and are forced into a do or die situation or kil someone,thts where my AL abuse took me,just som food for thot gyco

[gyco]

Getting ones life straightened out.

oops for got ,do tht a lot GOOD LUCK AND WELCOME

[A Work in Progress]

Getting ones life straightened out.

North, I understand your idea, and in many ways I agree with your approach. Creating a life free of alcohol requires a lot of changes in the choices we make about how we spend our time. If the choices we are making are NOT contributing to a life that is meaningful and pleasurable, at least to some degree, then we are probably staying in a danger zone for relapse. However, I don't think it is possible, in the short term, to find "substitute pleasures" that will simply replace the pleasure that our brains/bodies are accustomed to receiving from our drug of choice. Whatever it is that we are addicted to has a fast-acting and very strong biochemical impact on our nervous system... and this includes simply the anticipation of using the substance... and other activities are simply not going to rival that process. So one important step in recovery is just to recognize that we cannot get rid of the strong desire or craving to use whatever we are addicted to, just by substituting something else that is pleasurable. However, in the long term, our brains should be able to normalize, at least to some extent, so that enjoyment of other normal reinforcers or rewarding activities can become a lot more rewarding, and can assume a larger role in our lives.

Some people talk about "healthy addictions" or "substitute addictions," such as (for some) exercise. There's a lot to be said for cultivating new activities that are rewarding. But I think we set ourselves up for disappointment if we hope or expect that we will ever be able to use them to totally erase the pull we will still sometimes experience in the direction of using alcohol (or whatever we are truly addicted to).

wip