FOR DAD

[rubywillow]

I saw a challenge, sort of, on another thread. We need to recognize what our fathers have meant in our lives. My Daddy was fighting in Korea when I was born. He came home, and soon after, my sister was born. Then, 7 years later, my brother.

I never bonded with him in my early years. I thought he didn't like me. I found out much later, he thouht I didn't like him. Couldn't be more from the the truth.

During my very prim (because of Momma AND Daddy) upbringing, I was shielded from so much. Years passed. My sis & bro got in trouble. I married. I began to see my father as a man, not my mother's monster.

In the end, he ended up sick. This mountain of a man, who I had never known would have moved cities for me, was sick. Alcohol was the main culprit. He was a great man, could have been greater than those you hear of, but he was my father, my Daddy. He lived 15 years, sober, regretting every day of his drinking, wishing he had more time with the children (me included) who loved him SO much. His grandchildren speak of him as tho he's here. His greatgrandchildren speak of him as tho they met him on their journey to this plane. Believe what you want, especially you fathers, but I have a grandson. He is the the first in our family. He is broad, and tall, and strong, (my father was huge). At 2 yrs. old, he holds the door for me, walks in with his hand on my back, and says, 'Are you O.K.?'. His Father has no automotive sense, yet he can take the batteries out of his toys, with his toy tool set, to recharge them. I look in his face, and I can never tell anyone else, but I see my Daddy. Be careful, men. The seed you sow are not just children, they are living souls.

[startingover]

FOR DAD

Rubes, that was such a moving and thoughtful post.
I wish I had had some sober time with my dad before he died. I miss him and yet I never really feel I knew him either. I know I have some of his traits some good and some not so. Just wish I knew then what I know now I guess.
Thanks Rubes, food for thought there

[beatle]

FOR DAD

Yes, fathers are irreplaceable. So are mothers. We never appreciate them enough, do we?

Are you feeling ok, ruby?

[DeeBee]

FOR DAD

Rubes, what a beautiful post!

I was always a daddys girl and then we drifted apart about 15 years ago. I lost respect for him due to various reasons.
He once told me that if him and my Mom were ever to get a divorce it would be because of me. I was heart broken and didn't understand at the time what I had done wrong. Looking back on it now I realise that it was when he was drinking heavily (but only socially) and I can't take it to heart. My father stopped drinking when he realised the damage he was doing to our family. I was still quite young at the time so didn't understand what was going on.
It has only been in the last year or so that we have discovered our relationship again and due to my brothers drug problem we have had some indepth conversations about my father when he was younger.... it's always an eye opener to learn our parents are human too and that they do understand some of what we are going through as they have gone through it too.

I love my Pops to bits and we have an amazing relationship now!

[boozehag]

FOR DAD

Ruby
What a good idea. My dad is a true legend. He is 75 and he has never drank because his own father was a binge alcoholic (it skipped him and moved onto the next generation - me!). He is like a little mountain goat so fit and healthy and sadly I am 18,000km away from him. Every time I talk to him on the phone he tells me he loves me and is proud of me - god only knows why. He is such a dapper little Irish gentleman always opening doors for people and getting chairs for people (even for complete strangers who dont even want them). So yeah here is to our Dads without them we wouldnt be here!
BH

[freeintexas]

FOR DAD

i have to say i was always a daddy's girl..and miss him alot since he has passed but he really taught me a lot

[hippie37]

FOR DAD

I can't help thinking of my own predicament as a dad at the moment but I know like you Rubes my relationship with my father was always a 'stand-off'. I always thought he was trying to change ME and he always thought I had no right to try and change him. He called a spade a spade and grew up in the 50's and it took me a long time to realise that that was just his way and he was a good man.

He died aged 65 and never saw my daughter. He died 19th December 2003 at 15.15. I still re-live that day occasionally, sitting by his bedside in hospital hoping he would wake up and his organs would do the work for him rather than the machines. He battled for 16 hours and it was the longest 16 hours in my life.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[gyco]

FOR DAD

good post ruby,and your name says it all,a willow tree is strong and stretches out ,gives life to the outside world,beleive it or not it is early here in canada,but your thread was touching,it hit a note in my heart,my fahter was thro the 1st world war,born in 1915,depression, of i think they call the 30 s,2nd world war,rockin roll, woodstock,i could name a few,but i only seen him cry twice,when my mother passed and he hid in the basement ,men dont cry,he tot me,2nd time was when he took his stroke and passed,but i did get to cry,and i also told him ,i loved him,gyco he was only 63,thnx for the memories

[spirit pixie]

FOR DAD

what a great post rubywillow - the memory banks open with a flood... !
i was dad's girl till i became a teenager and put a distance between us, only seeing his many fault - he died when i was 19. in a way i am thankfully i was overseas travelling when he died and so my last memories of him where good bye hugs and good wishes.
he was a alcoholic. he was not really a great dad, in so much that he was either in the pub or pissed at home and that occasionally came with a raging temper. he was sociable, funny, kind, was a great photographer and artist, and had the most amazing deep singing voice and yet ended up a maintenance worker in a factory.
i miss him so much still even though its 20 years ago that he died. i hear his voice, his laugh, his conversation. i would love to get to know him now as an adult myself - as someone who can understand and identify with the tragic effects alcohol can have on you life and how much of your talents and soul in can rob you of.

love pixie
x

[Captnjack]

FOR DAD

Beautiful post Ruby Dads are important and I just think daughters are the best ( not being biased here sons are the best too)
Love cap

[Mackeral]

FOR DAD

I could'nt be closer to my dad...But it wasnt always like that..I got more than my fair share of beatings..As late as when i first started dating Mrs Macks..I got a headbutt once that sent me flying over my own bed..for smoking...I was 18..
I remember playing football in the street with a tennisball when i was about 13...He stripped my pants and undies off so he could reden my arse..Pretty embarresing when you just started puberty..

Since i left home at 16..My dad (i think ) has tried to say sorry without actually saying sorry..He kills himself trying to me happy..I have a lot of respect for him...And i think he has a lot of respect for me for not holding a grudge all these years..
I think thats why i dont smack my kids...A stern voice goes a long way..I want my kids to grow up with respect for others..And understand people will and do, do wrong...But dont hold it against them forever...Everyone makes mistakes...Like me when i drank..I hope they dont hold that against me..