invisibility

[christyacc]

I am wondering if it's normal to feel invisible on the site.....I have tried doing the chat room thing, and there are so many chatting at one time, sometimes about different topics at the same time, it's difficult to have a conversation. It's mass confusion, and I sometimes feel ignored. Just as I feel ignore at times on the threads. I have posted a few threads, only to receive a couple replies. I'm not saying this to be true all of the time, but I see the comradry with most and long for it.

I am trying to be AF and I am also going out on a limb by expressing my feelings. I feel like a child, but this is a delicate time for me, as all of us.

I suppose I am try to say that I try to fit in, try to reply, try to belong to a group and I feel invisible :*(

Thankfully I get a lot out of reading of everyone else's experiences and seeing I am not alone, and thankfully I have made a couple friends from this site as well.

Thanks for listening to me whine......

[sammys]

invisibility

HI and you are fine, I have been here almost two years and feel ignored sometimes myself. It is just such a big site now and there are so many different people it takes time to find your way and niche. But anyways welcome and as you will find there is lots of advice and lots of know it all stuff as well as funny stuff and silly stuff.

In general please stay and get comfy.

Sammys

[lucky 2.0]

invisibility

hi!

Sometimes the obnoxious ones do get all the attention, it is true!

[kriger]

invisibility

Try not to feel too badly Christy. Some of us, me included, spend quite a lot of time on this site on a daily basis. We banter back and forth, esp on the AF Army thread, like we're on the phone with each other or in a chat. It takes a bit of time to get to know everyone here; I still have not gotten to know many on this site but it will fall into place the longer you remain. As you said, you have made friends with some already so don't be discouraged and keep on posting. Krigs

[akgirl]

invisibility

Hi Christy,

It's easy to feel that way, I do sometimes. Especially on chat when it's busy. Did you know when your in chat you can click on someones avatar and it's like pulling them aside for a more private conversation. That helps.

There are a lot of folks here with a lot going on, easy to get lost in the shuffle. But we all love ya. :l

AK

[periwinkle]

invisibility

Cristy,

I know exactly how you feel! I have felt at times like posting almost the exact same thing. I have felt like if I'm not on a slippery slope I won't get attention. But then I cried out for help earlier today and I did get some really great responses. I think the forum moves along pretty fast and people read stuff that makes sense and they ponder it but don't necessarily reply to it.

periwinkle :l

BTW, I love that "hunk 'a avatar" of yours!

[A Work in Progress]

invisibility

Peri, that's right... and a lot of people just look at the "new posts" and if there is not a lot of traffic replying to a new thread, that new thread can quickly drop to nowhere.

Christy, I agree about chat, I VERY rarely go there because it seems impossible to have a meaningful conversation. I guess I usually hit really busy times.

It helps a lot to stick with one or two of the ongoing threads, make sure to stop in there every day and say something, and after a while you will really get to know the people who routinely post there. It does take a little while.

Mostly... be careful not to take it personally! That can become a reason to drink... imagining that we are being slighted or ignored by others!

You're doing just fine. Keep on keepin' on!

wip

[Cinders]

invisibility

Christy,

I am glad you posted this.

Sometimes people are ignored. Not on purpose, but like AWIP says, people hit the "new posts" button and a lot of times posts get lost in that.

I do that.

The only threads I go to religiously are the Monthly Abs thread and the 30 Days thread.

I used to go to ODAT but lately there have been a lot of modders on there and I MUST stay away from the posts about drinking a bit.

I am not irritated or upset by that, though, please modders, understand. I am very happy you can mod.

It is just that I, too, am vulnerable and need to avoid conversations involving drinking. They make that alcoholic brain of mine think, "well maybe..." and trust me, in my case there is no "maybe."

Anyway, I digress, Christy, but you should join one of those threads.

It may take a day or two of posting but pretty soon you will be one of the crowd and people will get to know you and start responding, asking, thinking about you, etc.

I am sorry you feel so fragile right now but that will get better. I think. I feel fragile, too. I am doing lots of avoidance right now. Staying away from restaurants that serve alcohol, trying to avoid going shopping by myself because when I do that, I can end up veering towards the liquor store, etc.

So I know what you mean.

I am glad you are here, though, and hope you can join us in Abs or 30 days.

Love,
Cindi

[vera-b]

invisibility

Hi Christy,

I've been here since mid June and get easily lost in all the threads! I've never been to chat - I have no idea how to do it, and just have so little time these days to spend on line. I agree with Cindi - I've found if I go to the long term mod weekly thread and ODAT in just starting out, I get to touch base with the folks I know (though I do miss Cindi on ODAT, but would do the same thing were I in her shoes). Sometimes it does seem like the more extreme cases get the most attention, but it's never personal. Just folks trying to help. Feel free to scream once in awhile - it's good for all of us.

Vera-b

[christyacc]

invisibility

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts, I really appreciate it.

[Accountable for Me]

invisibility

Try not to let this bother you. There are very popular threads on the boards and I am thinking most spend their time there. Even looking at a lot of the newbies creating new threads, there hasn't been much response to those either lately.

Definitely throw yourself into a thread that is going strong and I guarantee you, you won't feel left out.

Chat is fast paced. I, therefore, am not a great chatter. Too many conversations going at once. I do log in just to watch the conversation and if I really want to post a response, or whatever, I do. The more you go into it, bonding with others will happen.

[Montana Mommy]

invisibility

Hey Christy,
I was just telling Hubby how there was another UFC fan here(you). Now I just saw this thread. You can PM me anytime. I love to talk, and listen. I think we all feel like this sometimes. I do sometimes. Sometimes you need to squeek loud to get the oil. That's what I tell myself anyways- then start squeeking loud. hehe!!!
MM

[Sheepish]

invisibility

Hi Christy
I feel that way in life sometimes too. I think we all do-
I am glad you posted about it- it kinda breaks the 'I'm all alone' feeling when you see someone else speaking out.
Very brave- you are definitely NOT alone
Thanks

-Sheep

[DeeBee]

invisibility

Christy, I felt the same as you when I joined. Between trying to navigate my way around the site, remembering everyones wacky names and who they are it can be confusing and lonely.
MM had a great suggestion, PM someone if you feel a rapor (sp?) with them or their posts and like everyone else has said, join a daily thread.

It is such an amazing bunch here and no-one's intention is to cut someone off or not include them in their lives. My biggest problem is after reading through a post I tend to forget what I wanted to say in the first place so skip the thread with the intention to go back when i have something of value to add and forget to go back LOL.... my memory is shocking so now I make notes as I go.

Feel free to PM me anytime and if you want to jump into chat we can create a special room to have a private chat in.

[startingover]

invisibility

Hi Christy, I can perfectly relate to what you are saying and have felt "rejected" for want of a better word many times. As time goes on I realise that its not personal and that things just move along quickly. I always post a lot on the Army thread and have got to know them there very well. I try to keep up with the newbies but sometimes there just isnt enough hours in the day. I dont go into chat because for some reason my pc wont let me. But I have made many friends here who I know would move heaven and earth if I was struggling. Please dont feel alone. Join a thread that you feel an affinity with and get to know the folks on there. You would be very welcome on the Army thread of course. We are all fragile trying to deal with this the best way we can and sometimes we can take things to heart too much. If I get upset I usually pm someone to talk it through then that gets it out, no one gets hurt and I can move on. Please feel free to pm me if ever you need. You are most certainly not alone and I think by the responses you have received you will know that we all feel like that from time to time. I am glad that you posted this cos now I know its not only me!!!!
Keep positive hun, we will all get there