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    #16
    Is moderation a reality

    There are stages to alcoholism just as there are stages to cancer, diabetes, and other diseases. Some people die from cancer, others go into remission. It often depends on how early it is caught.

    With all due respect Chief to say that all who have an alcohol problem, regardless of their stage when they come here are in the same boat is painting with a rather broad brush don't you think?
    Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

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      #17
      Is moderation a reality

      Well, I guess I hope so. I plan to try it. I've read another thread around here about this same topic and some people say (and I guess the book says) that to TRULY moderate you will change completely and not even need to think about moderating, it would just happen that you don't have to try any more. It's hard to imagine getting to that point when at this point, I'm logging in to this site multiple times daily which clearly means I'm thinking about AL quite a bit. After trying for 28 days (on and off- couple of slips in there) I'm currently on day 11 (yay!) of trying 30 days AF. The idea being that getting some time AF should help change habits. I think it's working, but of course who knows what will happen when I really try moderating. Will I slip back to the old over-drinking habits? I guess it is not at all unlikely. What I have on my side is, I guess, the "stage" I was at when I came here. I have been steady drinking for about as long as I can remember, and daily (except during pregnancy) for probably the last 20 years or more. Lots of binge drinking in my younger days, lots of blackouts, etc., but much less since I've had kids (10 years now). Anyway, I still did over-drink to the point of blackout and severe hangover a couple of times a year - enough that I felt pretty badly about it. And I came here because I did it again, and I guess a few things happened at the same time - I read the book drinking: a love story and also a good friend of mine's mother has been having very bad drinking problems - and I guess these things brought me here and the time is right for me. I'm hopeful that because of my "stage" coming in, I won't fail at moderating. I just don't want to have 4-8 drinks every night anymore - I don't want to feel like crap at work - I don't want to be embarrassed about drinking too much on even those fairly rare occassions - etc. so I'm gonna try moderating and see where it takes me. So, LONG story short I sure hope the answer is YES.

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        #18
        Is moderation a reality

        Well good luck with it Frances...I really hope you can moderate...I suppose there's only one way to find out...

        Just be honest with yourself...If its not working, pull yourself to one side and have a re-think...

        Best of luck and keep in touch..
        I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
        One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

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          #19
          Is moderation a reality

          Someone once said here that if you were a daily heavy drinker, you will not be able to moderate. I was not ever like that - I never missed work, mostly only drank to excess on Sunday afternoon. The heavy drinking just happened in my recent years, though the overall drinking did increase over the years. Frances, I strongly recommend that you use Drink Tracker when you start to moderate. I wish I had sooner, I would not have struggled with moderation for the few months I did. Only record honest drinks: 1 bottle of wine = 5 glasses. Also, the less alcohol you consume the more successful you will be. Think about this in terms of consumption each week and month, not just about limiting your drinks on a specific day.
          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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            #20
            Is moderation a reality

            Very poignant post for me to read today. I actually cried this morning coming to terms with the point that the answer for me to this question is NO. I have spent so much time in this internal struggle, and yes WIP it has been years, and yes I have managed to have longer periods without drinking but then the drinking too much slowly but surely creeps back in.
            The answer for everyone to this question is different and for some hopefully the answer is yes but when we have to deliberate about it I think the answer is no, no matter how much we might like it to be different
            There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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              #21
              Is moderation a reality

              If you have hit bottom it will be almost impossible to moderate, you have to catch it early before it goes chronic.
              You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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                #22
                Is moderation a reality

                The word moderation isn't even in my vocabulary, and having come this far on my journey, its a road I wouldn't even travel.
                A F F L..
                Alcohol Free For Life

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                  #23
                  Is moderation a reality

                  Just a quick note to say thanks, Sunbeam, for the advice, and thanks to Mackeral for the encouragement! the discussions on moderation all over this site are sure interesting!

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                    #24
                    Is moderation a reality

                    Its most certainly a reality.

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                      #25
                      Is moderation a reality

                      I have lost count of the number of times i have cheated myself into thinking "I will just have a few beers with friends, it's fine" only too find while others have stuck to 1 or 2 , I can't stop and will return home to continue drinking alone. For some people moderation is not even an issue but for a problem drinker it's very difficult so best for me to avoid it all together if poss.

                      It's very important to be honest with yourself, goodluck

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                        #26
                        Is moderation a reality

                        NO for me- I kid myself when I think I can. I have had to many relapses doing the "just one theory"
                        DLW
                        Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
                        And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



                        • Yesterday is History
                          Today is a Mystery
                          Tomorrow is a GIFT

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