AF Army 6th November 2008

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Hi Wipster, I know you of all people know how it feels. I am so grateful that I am sober....
Yesterday was hard though....

[LookingToGrow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

startingover;461437 wrote: Hi there LTG! Hows it going? Docs today isnt it?

Yes, going this afternoon. Trying to get myself prepared with a list of concerns and supp info. I haven't had a proper check up in 1 1/2 years, not even in the ER, so there is much to discuss.

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Well, it can only do some good and I really hope it goes well LTG

[LookingToGrow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Thanks Starting!
When you take your mum to the hospital, will she be staying there?

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

I dont know LTG, as its the local hospital I think she will refuse. The doc she is seeing tho is from another hospital so I am hoping that they will admit her to the other one...
I am so worried, more worried that they will do nothing I think....

[A Work in Progress]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Here's a post I just put up in subs, but I thought I would put it here, too. I was a little surprised yesterday when a couple of people come into this thread and said that they were feeling the urge to drink... but/and they apologized for mentioning it. I felt kind of sad about that... why would a person NOT want to talk about problems with alcohol here on the AF thread? Isn't that what we are HERE FOR? We have a lot of fun, and develop good friendships along the way... but we should never (I believe) lose sight of what brought us here.

So, here's what I said over in subs:

I'm feeling sad today. I miss WW, and I miss DoggyGirl, too. I am feeling overwhelmed by the new people who show up every single day to this site. Over the four months I have been here, I have been pretty consistent and faithful about greeting them, trying to answer their questions, and encouraging them. But, as we all know, few of them stick around very long; lots of them never come back after their first post. Yet, I believe that the responses they get to their first post can have a big impact on whether they stay, and on whether or not they continue to be willing to pursue changes in their pattern of alcohol abuse.

I also feel discouraged about the type of responses people get when they come here after a bad drinking episode. There's a formula. It goes like this: "Don't beat yourself up! Keep trying! You can do it!" So, generally, the person is told that how they are feeling is wrong, and s/he is not given any suggestions about what kind of things might turn around those awful feelings, and no suggestions about HOW or WHAT to "keep trying." Seldom, if ever, are there any discussions about specifically what went wrong in the person's behavior, or thinking, or response to emotions, that contributed to the drinking episode. Questions about "what might you do differently?" are very rare (I am usually the only one who asks them) and typically are met with silence.

And I am feeling as if we get a lot of first-time posts, and short-term members, because this site is promoted as an easy way to stop drinking, or to begin drinking moderately, without any cravings or discomfort. Very, very few people find that promise to be a realistic possibility for them. I think that the way the site is advertised and promoted is not an accurate picture of what the process usually is like for people here, even if they use all of the "tools" of the program.

OK, that's the stuff that is contributing to my feeling a bit odd and uncomfortable about MWO today. There's other stuff, too, but I won't go into it now.

I hope everyone is doing great! If so, or if not, I hope you'll come here and talk about it! There are some wonderful people here, and I am grateful for you.

Any thoughts, anyone?

wip

[rubywillow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

One of my biggest regrets is that I WAS drinking when parents were sick, & I would get so overwhelmed I would just drink and blot it out.

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

God Wip, you are so right! I felt like drinking yesterday and I felt guilty for mentioning it. How ridiculous!!! I needed support and felt bad for asking!!!!
I must say I do struggle sometimes with knowing what to say to the newbies and people who have fallen.
But thank you for taking away my feeling of needing to stay silent about my own struggles!!!
That is what brought us together and here of all places it should NOT be a taboo subject.
Thanks Wipster

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

rubywillow;461469 wrote: One of my biggest regrets is that I WAS drinking when parents were sick, & I would get so overwhelmed I would just drink and blot it out.

I know Rubes, mum has been ill for 2 years and its only in the last few months that I have not been drinking....

[rubywillow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

WIP, I've noticed the turnover, too, and I try to welcome people personally. It's hard to know what to say. Usually I try mainly to tell them to read, read, read. That's what it took for me. I came here lookinig for a magic potion, too. No such thing. But this place works for me, because I felt alone in the world, and if one other person finds that here, then that person has a chance. The statistics are grim. When I was in rehab, out of the 40 of us, they told us only 1 of us would stay clean. So far, everyone I've been able to stay in touch with has failed, some tragically. So, I guess, it's the hope of 1 in 40 or whatever the numbers. Very thoughtful post.

[Nakeeta]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Good Morning Everyone! Working on Day 6 AF. Last night was a little difficult for me. My mind just went from one thought to another. I will try to post more after work. Everyone have a great day.

[rubywillow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Hi Nakeeta. Great to see you here. Talk to you later!

[startingover]

AF Army 6th November 2008

Hi Nakeeta,
Good job on 6 days!

[LookingToGrow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

WIP, thank you for the post. Much of what you stated has been running through my head for some time now.
Of course we should come here when we feel the urge to drink and state it right up front. It's a cry for help NOT to drink! It's not bragging about benging or be drunk. It's a cry for help so cry 'til someone hears you.

There is more to comment on, and I will do that after some more thought. Just wanted to get the cry for help out there first.

One further comment I must make for now is this: I dearly appreciate each and everyone of my friends here!!! :wings:

[rubywillow]

AF Army 6th November 2008

O.K., guys, shower time! Have to go get beeyootiful (or a reasonable facisimile). Someone take notes!