Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

    I'm in a sheer panic and first thought was to run here. Hubby's best friend just invited himself and wife over. This is a couple that always makes me nervous. Not only is the place a mess (I was feeling blue today and took advantage of kids in school - very rare to just be still for me). So I am in a absolute tizzy as what to do to calm myself and not blow it. I haven't had time to mentally prepare. I feel like I am driving in the dark blindfolded. So take this away from my crazy post: Have a plan for your unexpected plans. I guess my plan will be don't drink don't drink don't drink. I've done well avoiding situations with drink involved, but hubby asked them to stop at the liquor store, so its coming to me. Yikes. How I wish I could sit in chat with you all instead. :upset:
    Will report back later. :l
    You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha
    Tags: None
    #2
    Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

    river, you'll be fine, take nice deep breaths, force yourself to move more slowly, feel whatever you are feeling, and say to yourself: I don't drink.

    Comment

      #3
      Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

      I had unexpected quests bring wine over when I was only a few weeks sober...SHEER PANIC...then it came to me to say, I am on Doctors oders not to drink with the meds that I am on...That was bull sheet but they said SORRY and left it at that.Now I am saying...I DON'T DRINK but it took me months to feel brave enough to say that out loud.I will pray for you to stay strong.You can get thru this...I know you can
      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

      Comment

        #4
        Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

        I know how you feel, River. But you can do this, it is a test. Like wip said just take some deep breaths and try to relax. Get yourself a big glass of iced tea, or a ginless tonic and lime if you're more comfortable with that. It will be different, but ok. You can do this, we're here for ya!!:l
        _______________
        NF since June 1, 2008
        AF since September 28, 2008
        DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
        _____________
        :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
        5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
        _______________
        The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

        Comment

          #5
          Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

          Thank you all for your quick replies, its so comforting to know there are people who are there with me in this journey.

          So, quick update - no need to worry. The wife did not show as they had a major fight (bad for them, good for me). Hubby is entertaining his friend and about to head out to a bar. I had my tea ready, took a few deep breaths, said a prayer for strength. I like to think I would have made it through the night AF. I will definitely be giving this more thought and come up with an "Emergency Preparedness Plan"!

          Thank you, thank you, thank you for being there for me.:l
          You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

          Comment

            #6
            Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

            :imglad::yay:
            _______________
            NF since June 1, 2008
            AF since September 28, 2008
            DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
            _____________
            :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
            5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
            _______________
            The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

            Comment

              #7
              Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

              river0123;462720 wrote: Thank you all for your quick replies, its so comforting to know there are people who are there with me in this journey.

              So, quick update - no need to worry. The wife did not show as they had a major fight (bad for them, good for me). Hubby is entertaining his friend and about to head out to a bar. I had my tea ready, took a few deep breaths, said a prayer for strength. I like to think I would have made it through the night AF. I will definitely be giving this more thought and come up with an "Emergency Preparedness Plan"!

              Thank you, thank you, thank you for being there for me.:l
              Glad it worked out OK!!

              You know, the more I think about it, it occurs to me that the "emergency preparedness plan" you are thinking about might very well be thought of as the "The Rest of My Life as a Non-Drinker" plan. Because, of course, this stuff will continually come up and hit us in unexpected ways, at unexpected times. Another name might be: "Everyday Sobriety." For those of us who are committed to being AF for life, we want to (eventually) learn to not think of being AF as something that we do for short, measured periods of time, or as something that is tentative, shaky, and easily taken away from us (something we can best do, hiding out in our houses, by ourselves!), but just something that is a part of who we are...

              wip

              Comment

                #8
                Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                I hate when shit like that happens. I always get worked up for some reason.

                The funny thing is that everything always turns out fine. Its just a nightmare for me prior.
                Starting over again 09/06/11

                "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

                sigpic

                Comment

                  #9
                  Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                  Dear WIP,

                  I just wonder how long is eventually?????????????
                  _______________
                  NF since June 1, 2008
                  AF since September 28, 2008
                  DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                  _____________
                  :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                  5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                  _______________
                  The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                    This is really powerful. guys.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                      Wow River
                      I am so proud of you Girl!! I could feel the sheer panic as I read your post. I am very fortunate that none of my new friends drink. I have always admired your strength. Way to Go!! ....From the Sea to the River.lol
                      "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                        River......In the Spanish home their is a saying " Me Casa es su Casa" ( My house is your house). As a kid I seen this taken to the extreme. Every friend or friend of a friend decide to make my parents house their own ! Ha! I threw that saying out the window when I got married ! ( Mine was: If you drop by, get a Hotel room ! Ha! ) Good luck River......IAD
                        ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                        those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                        Dr. Seuss

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                          LVT25;462790 wrote: Dear WIP,

                          I just wonder how long is eventually?????????????
                          Yeah, great question, eh?

                          I don't think we can begin to truly grow into that plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "deprivation" mode to the "gratitude" mode.

                          In the deprivation mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

                          In the gratitude mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

                          Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

                          For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. It doesn't usually just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

                          That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!

                          wip

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                            Wow, great post wip.
                            I'd have to say I'm between deprivation and gratitude mode. Still feeling torn and a bit sorry for myself, but so grateful to be hangover free and in control. I was having flashes of fear last night like what if I have one sip, and then the night just spirals out of control? I definitely am becoming more fearful of alcohol the more days I go AF. I guess that's good.
                            I do feel like the party pooper. Somehow I need to turn my thoughts around and realize I am still worth being around, I can still bring a smile to someone's face, and maybe I wasn't as funny as I thought I was when I was drinking. Because you are right, these events will always pop up, we need to find a way to be in control instead of letting the situation control us.
                            Thanks again everyone, sure love you guys! :l
                            You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Unexpected Guests, No Plan In Place

                              Sorry to steal your thread here, River.....Nice post WIP. I'm going to print that one.
                              River, like you I seem to fear AL. My son asked me last night if I don't drink beer anymore. I said, well, not tonight.
                              Will be really interesting to see if I can get my act together by Thanksgiving.

                              Gotta go!
                              _______________
                              NF since June 1, 2008
                              AF since September 28, 2008
                              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                              _____________
                              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                              _______________
                              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X