November A@@ kickers - week 2

[helpahol]

November A@@ kickers - week 2

I agree with BH too. One slip shouldn't erase 13 days of strength and self control. Just don't don't tally your one bad day, but use it as a tool to help you fight off cravings when you think you might slip again. That's what I think anyway. But remember I'm still a newbie, so I'm not sure if I know what I'm talking about. But at least I'm talking while I'm sober now! lol!:new:

[Miss Behaving]

November A@@ kickers - week 2

Thanks all for your comments

A Work in Progress;467531 wrote: Mame, I certainly would NOT suggest that you be harsh and critical with yourself, but I DO suggest that you spend some time reflecting on what thoughts and emotions were going on when you made the decision to drink... thinking about triggers (most definitely including thought processes and emotions, as well as stuff like being hungry, stressful events, etc.) is the "good news" part of this kind of episode. You can think it through, and plan for the next time you are experiencing something similar...
That's exactly what I'm planning on doing this weekend WIP!! I know exactly what all this is all about in a sense ........ AL isn't the only beast that haunts me and I have a few other nasty little self-harming and critical monsters that show their heads from time to time!! You'd think after years of counseling I'd have them all under control, but they have a lovely habit of popping up when things are going well for me. They would much rather that I was miserable and making a mess of things instead of being happy and taking charge of my life!!

That's the good news, and also great news is the fact that you came back here right away and didn't let it turn into a full-bore relapse! [/quote]
I've been patting myself on the back for that as well! I got into a bit of a habit when I started relapsing on July and August of staying away until I had a couple of AF days under my belt again so that I didn't feel like a total looser. But that didn't work as I didn't manage to build up as much AF time as I wanted. There is an accountability thing there for me which means that if I'm posting I'm much more likely to stay sober.

Onwards and upwards ....... I am sooooo looking forward to a quiet weekend at home and with uncle mame still away!! As much as I miss him, I treasure time on my own.

[freeintexas]

November A@@ kickers - week 2

Okay--lost in texas is screwing up again. I am having all of these mind games going on in my head. I actually went and got a bottle after work today and had a drink. I keep thinking about how I have screwed up my kids for the past ten years and am really at the point of tears at work at the drop of a hat. I am constantly thinking about how it would be better if i am not here, and what really difference does it make if i drink, or not drink--I have already done the damage to the most important things in my life, so really, what the hell? I keep thinking all of this crap constantly and I can't work--keep making stupid mistakes, and I can't concentrate on anything but the past. What is wrong with me?

[Miss Behaving]

November A@@ kickers - week 2

Lost,

sounds like this is really getting to you. I know from years of experience that being down on yourself doesn't really achieve very much at all. You are the person that will notice most whether you drink or not ..... and I'm pretty sure that your kids will too!

One of the things I read//heard (cant remember where or when!!)earlier this year was that "....genuine self-esteem comes from having overcome adversity...." It helped me a lot, kept me thinking positively. I stopped feling weak and like a victim, and instead thought about how this was an opportunity to show myself that I really am a strong person.

Sometime I'm not quite sure how to respond when people are having a tough time or feeling lost and directionless (whether in Texas or anywhere else!). What works for you? Lots of tea and sympathy?? Or a dose of reality therapy? Getting some time on your own or keeping busy doing stuff??

But whatever, happens, keep posting here! Sometimes the weekends can get a bit quiet on the boards, but I will be here!!! (Its Friday evening here now - probably middle of Thursday night/Friday morning where you are??) I am having an AF weekend no matter what! If you feel like joining me do!!

On another topic - BH: in case you've already headed over the ditch, have a great time in Manly!!

Christy and helpahol - thanks for hanging on in here! and anyone else who is lurking!!

[boozehag]

November A@@ kickers - week 2

Lost
It sounds like you are depressed if that is not stating the obvious. Whether it is drink related or not probably doesnt matter at this stage but you should really try and seek some professional help. I know it is hard but if you can just put the past aside for now and try to focus on the future which is the only thing you can change. What is done is done and it is doing you any good at all dwelling on it right now. You need to be single minded about this and put everything else aside. You have done a good run of AF days already this month and you can again. We are here for you.
BH