A F ARMY......10/11/08

[LookingToGrow]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Good for Alfie! :h
See, shit happens...LOL!!

[Mackeral]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

LOL:H

[Seacailin]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Hello Army
Exhausted Peg Leg checking in. I put my car in the shop this morning and am waiting to hear the financial damages. I also am still playing phone tag with the mortgage co. Don't think I'm gonna get much rest today, but off tonight. Thank God.

[LookingToGrow]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Hi Sea! Did you & Michael enjoy the game?

[A Work in Progress]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

one2many;464675 wrote: Alfie had a big poo this morning so I am happy as a pig....in Alfies shit!!!

I am SO glad he pooped! That is a major, big deal after that kind of surgery... I was worried, too!

wip

[cymru]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Hey sea.
Good on ya ltg.
Pooh has become a very important talking point on the AF thread the last couple of days!!
I just got bejewelled for my i pod. Love that game!

[cymru]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

oh my god!!!
Be warned. This is sick!!
ScatSite - Shit Pics

[Seacailin]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

LOL Oney
Still have not been in the man's shirt.
The feckin' mechanic just called. I need rear brakes. Gonna be at least $300 for me to pass state inspection. Ugh....At least I will be driving legally.lol. I gotta crash for a couple of hours. The mechanic and mortgage co. will be calling me back. So tired. I will catch up later. Love u all.

[A Work in Progress]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

To the AF Army: This is really uncomfortable, but I am going to say something that I have been thinking about for a few weeks, now. Some of you may have noticed that I don't post much on this thread any more. It isn't because I don't like or care about the regular folks here (and newer ones, too!). The reason I haven't been around here much is because the thread has changed, in a direction that I don't think is healthy, for me.

At first, this thread was set up for folks who were committed to being AF, for helping and supporting each other in that commitment. And, along the way, we had a lot of fun. And people kept their commitments to being AF, or when they faltered, they got back up, and re-committed. We helped each other by talking about what worked, and what didn't work, what was most helpful, and what our biggest triggers were. It was just great.

Gradually, however, this has become a thread in which alcohol is almost never mentioned. People seem to be afraid to say anything if they are having urges to drink; and so, they get no help with handling those urges. If people do drink, they just report that they drank, and go on pretty much with whatever they were doing before, or at least they don't talk about what they are doing differently to keep it from happening again. I feel like the hard-ass and fun-killer of the thread, because when I do ask people what they might do differently, I get no responses.

Now, it seems that this is totally a "fun" thread. The joking around has overpowered the original intent of the thread. And I think that most people here are happy with it being this way, now. And that's OK... for those who are satisfied with it being this way. It just isn't something that is going to be particularly helpful to me, in my own AF program.

Without really talking to anyone about it, I had planned to just check in here once in a while to see what's going on with my friends. But last night, when I checked in, one of the regulars was here, drinking, and talking about the fact that he was drinking. When I suggested that this was not a good place to be talking about that, the response was rather unpleasant. And I was the only one who said anything about it. Again, I felt like the hard-ass, and felt as if this is just not a place that is healthy for me.

I love each one of you, care about you, and will be around here in various threads... but probably very rarely, here on this thread. And I can't say that I will recommend this thread for new folks who are looking for a place to get support for being AF; I would recommend it as a fun thread, with great people in it.... but not a thread for seriously working on a program to be AF.

love,

wip

[Mackeral]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

I like talking shit...Not so much looking at it...I gave it a miss thanks Cymru..
Speaking of which i bought a film last night called Black Sheep..I am never gonna get them 2 hrs back...Ever..

[LookingToGrow]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

WIP, I agree with so much of what you stated. I stopped coming here last night because of what was going on. I struggled through the night AF with my husbo but I was looking for support here. I am making adjustments to my plan and tools and sometimes feel it's too serious to post about here, depending on who is on at the time. For the most part it is good, but lately many awkward times. I love my friends here but I do need to re-focus.

[cymru]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Yes WIP, alot of what you have said is true.
I think its important to me to just be here, talking, chatting and having a laugh with friends, because it stops me being by myself and thinking about booze. I think the 'regulars' on this thread have become good friends, and this is our place to talk about our every day lives, but maybe we need a new title to the thread, cause it has got away from being a thread that talks about being alc free 90% of the time.
I love this thread, and wouldnt be alc free without it, so it is def working for me, but i think it maybe needs a new title every day, so that newbies can post on a truely AF thread.
And you were spot on last night WIP.

[Mackeral]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Posting at the same time WIP...I have only came on this thread over the last 2 weeks..So i dont know what it was like previously...I think this thread is great because whatever time of the day there is always someone here to talk to you..Almost instantly..
As for what happened last night..To me that is real life..People come to this or any other thread in good times and in bad..I wouldnt like to feel i couldnt if i were drinking as we all were at one point or another..
I have started lots of threads in the past that didnt go in the direction i thought or hoped they would..But i didnt interupt how it was going simply because that is not my decision..That is not up to me...I cant tell anyone what they can or cant say..

I have a hell of a lot of respect for you WIP for who you are.. your mental attitude..How you are attacking this..Your posts are second to none in their content and advice on alcahol and life in general..

Nobody is perfect..Neither i nor you..So for me telling someone what to do or how to go about it is pissing in the wind...
I hope you dont stop posting on this thread..I and many others get a lot back from you...But like you said...If this thread is doing nothing for you anymore..Anyway like i said..I hope you dont go wandering off..:l

[A Work in Progress]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

cymru;464727 wrote: Yes WIP, alot of what you have said is true.
I think its important to me to just be here, talking, chatting and having a laugh with friends, because it stops me being by myself and thinking about booze. I think the 'regulars' on this thread have become good friends, and this is our place to talk about our every day lives, but maybe we need a new title to the thread, cause it has got away from being a thread that talks about being alc free 90% of the time.
I love this thread, and wouldnt be alc free without it, so it is def working for me, but i think it maybe needs a new title every day, so that newbies can post on a truely AF thread.
And you were spot on last night WIP.

Cy, talking and chatting and having fun IS IMPORTANT! It certainly DOES help many of us, at various points in our programs, to stay AF. But there needs to be a balance... surely it is possible to have a balance between the fun and the serious work... there was, at one time, in this thread. But now, talk about how to successfully deal with thoughts about alcohol is discouraged, or at least ignored.

wip

[A Work in Progress]

A F ARMY......10/11/08

Mackeral;464733 wrote: As for what happened last night..To me that is real life..People come to this or any other thread in good times and in bad..I wouldnt like to feel i couldnt if i were drinking as we all were at one point or another..
I have started lots of threads in the past that didnt go in the direction i thought or hoped they would..But i didnt interupt how it was going simply because that is not my decision..That is not up to me...I cant tell anyone what they can or cant say..

Macks, that is exactly the question. What is it that most of the people who regularly use this thread are comfortable with? If it feels OK to have people posting here while they are drinking... then that's fine... Of course it is not entirely, or mostly, up to me. I'm just one person. At one time, most of the people who regularly posted here did not consider it OK to have people posting here while they were drinking, or talking about their efforts at "modding here." This was an AF thread.

This thread has changed a lot, people come and go, and people change in terms of what they need and want.... of course, none of that can be controlled! But if someone is here, doing or saying something I think is out of line... I will say something. If I am the only one who does so, I assume that my own ideas of what is "OK" on that thread are just not in sync with what most of the other people on that thread are OK with... which is fine. But, since this is something that has not been openly discussed on this thread for a while, I think it's good that we do so!

wip