Was there a Defining Moment?

[gyco]

Was there a Defining Moment?

these pain killers are prtty frikkim good hahaha yahooooooooooo

[gyco]

Was there a Defining Moment?

dont let me down hahaahah

[gyco]

Was there a Defining Moment?

i think my wife is taiking my computor away enufffff hahahhaa love u to honey hahahahahah

[gyco]

Was there a Defining Moment?

oxy cotin holy shit woooooopy hahahah

[gyco]

Was there a Defining Moment?

good nt all gico hahahah

[cymru]

Was there a Defining Moment?

???

[CS04]

Was there a Defining Moment?

Yeah, Gyco, what was all that about? Are you OK?

[maddiva]

Was there a Defining Moment?

WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

I am still battling the bottle and have to be careful I do not succumb. Alcohol ruined all aspects of my life. From my parents', siblings and not sure if genetic predisposition or learned behaviour. When I drank alcohol, (note past tense!!), I became something I was not. I did not care for anyone or anything least of all myself. I find it evil stuff for me. The defining moment but no lightbulb moment is that I do love my kids very much and they were panic stricken and crying, they had been for years but at one point even that did not affect me and I could not see what all the fuss was about, I was having a good time. We live in a suburb of London and it has a small town mentality and I never thought of the affect it had on my kids as I staggered to the shops for more booze, the embarrassment and stigma. I say to them now 'many more greater people than me have had to fight the compulsion to drink alcohol, but greater the person who has had the problem and conquered the foe than the one who has never lived with problems, the one who has faced the foe has a real understanding'. Also for me because my families history has been documented and lots of people know how 'dysfunctional' they have been it is like there are a few people who expect me to die of an alcohol related disease and fail in my life. When I was drinking regularly I was giving them the upper hand. Such is the British Culture that the only way to describe it is 'let me see you fail - so I can dance on your grave, then say I told you so!!!' Well, I am quite defiant and each day that I can get out of bed, keep my home tidy, tend the needs of my kids, pay my bills on time and have no debt collection agency at my door, bathe and appreciate my body for what it is and make myself up, smelling of sweet perfume walking my dogs knowing that deep in my heart and soul Alcohol will not take me as another victim!!! Each day without is a day nearer success. To see my kids happy and help them makes all my life worthwhile. I think maybe I was afraid of the real, sober me. The drunk me was a persona who made life seem easier, but infact it ruined years of my life.

[AstraiaJ.]

Was there a Defining Moment?

I agree with many others that there were many small moments that finally accumulated, but I can pick out one moment that finally made me face the other small moments and connect the dots. I was in the dentist chair and I had a cold sore on my lip, and the dentist offered to apply some medication to it. He said, "Here, the only thing this medicine says is that you shouldn't apply it if you drink more than 2-3 alcoholic drinks a day. But I'm sure that isn't a problem for you." I sat there in a panic while he got ready to open the bottle -- what was I supposed to say? And anyway, what an assumption medical professionals sometimes make! Anyway, I told him I would apply it after the appointment and afterward, something inside me snapped. I'm sure the cold sore medicine, what ever it was (I never applied it) wouldn't have killed me, but I thought, what the hell are you doing that you can't even let a dentist put medicine on your lip? There were other moments, like the time I went to recycle my million wine bottles at the recycle center and a little boy behind me yelled to god and everybody that "this lady sure must get drunk alot" but for some reason the dentist chair snapped me.