I have been tapering down for the last 2 weeks but feel an AF period of time is necessary to meet my fitness and weight goals and help with depression/anxiety. Have become heavy and very bloated/puffy from drinking. Not to mention high blood pressure and really lack of enthusiasm or initiative to start anything new. Too much energy required.
Am reading How to Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and realize that what I thought was a decent childhood was really influenced by my mother's depression and unhappiness and my father's uncontrollable anger (at random times). Again, this did not seem glaring until I started reading....realized I developed feelings of inadequacy and need to try to be perfect and major anxiety which spilled into my teen years and adult years and was medicated with drinking.
Now as a parent of kids I shutter to think what my 2 bottles of wine a night to sleep (pass out) is doing to them. Down to one bottle but still sounds disgusting. I am a happy drunk which is a problem - get funnier and funnier and crazier and crazier when out with friends.
Well, even after being AF for just one day and feeling physically great with the help of the supplements and ativan prescribed by my doctor - my mind is telling me it is okay to go get one bottle of wine and enjoy the night.....the beast is fierce.
I look forward to any future interactions with all of you. This seems such an inspiring place to be right now.
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