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I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

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    #1

    I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

    Many come to the boards with their shame and guilt, which we know get us no where. Let's take this thread to apoligize to anyone we'd like.

    To my Parent, both gone now, I'm sorry I caused you worry. I'm sorry I drank in your final illness, and when you died. It's not something I can take back.

    To my Husband, I'm sorry for the sleepless nights, the knotted stomach, the worry when I'm away, the fear of a phone call, the wondering who will I'll be when you come home.

    To my children, I'm sorry I couldn't be the mother who had all the answers, who was strong enough to never have a problem, who could always be there when you needed me.

    To my grandchildren, I'm sorry you've had to learn about the uglier side of some of life's problems before you needed to. I'm sorry I haven't been the story-book Grandma.

    To my other friends and family, I'm sorry for you worry and concern when you knew or didn't quite there was a problem, but didn't know what to do.

    To myself, I'm sorry you've been through so much alone, and so sorry you didn't find this place sooner.d
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:
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    #2
    I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

    I won't list all the amends that I had to do - after years of drinking and being a general ass I think that I had four or five pages of them!

    It is important to list and make apologies to those that we have hurt in one way or another, but it is just as important to make those apologies and then let that feeling go. The best way to show those people that we have hurt that we mean business is to become the person that we want to be!
    Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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      #3
      I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

      This thread is not meant to take the place of the step so many must take of personal apology. This is an opportunity for anyone who needs to to unload and maybe feel a little better today, and really think about what damage AL has and can do. I can honestly say it has stolen, or I have given it, precioius parts of my life, and with great regret. I am now at a point of making personal apologies. I just hope this helps someone.
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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        #4
        I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

        Great thread Rubes!
        I need to go and give it some thought before posting. I'll be back.
        BTW I have just finished reading a book called "The Journey" by Brandon Bays. It was very interesting and along similar lines to your thread.
        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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          #5
          I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

          I'm sorry to my son and daughter for not playing with them more when they were little. "Mommy's too tired," "Go play with your toys" and the worst, "Why don't you watch some TV?".

          I'm sorry to my husband for the bitchy things I've said that I don't remember. There was a stretch when I did this almost nightly for a year.

          Honestly, as much as anything, I'm sorry to the confused, scared, lonely 16-year-old girl who I first gave her first drink to. She never recovered from that. She became an alcoholic from that day on. No one knows she's an alcoholic but she does. She's doing a lot better now as she's found MWO. She's me and I'm just beginning to know her. She's not so bad after all. :l

          Becoming
          "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

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            #6
            I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

            Im sorry
            To Infinity And Beyond!!

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              #7
              I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

              Great thread, Ruby!! I'm already bawling! I'll be back.....
              _______________
              NF since June 1, 2008
              AF since September 28, 2008
              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
              _____________
              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
              _______________
              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

              Comment

                #8
                I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                Oh my god, I'm bawling right now........great thread, I need to apologize to a few people here too....

                I'm mostly sorry to my daughter, who for the first 5 years of her life (thank god she was young) didn't realize that her mom was a drunk

                I'm sorry that I forget putting her to bed, I'm sorry for the time she woke up when I was passed out and she couldn't wake me up and she was only 4 and I scared the hell out of her.

                I'm sorry for when mommy lost her patience for no reason other than I had too much wine.

                I'm sorry for calling friends at 2am and waking them up for no reason other than that I was still awake "so why can't you talk?"

                I'm sorry for soooooo many things

                But mostly I'm sorry for the fact that I have hurt/scared my daughter, my father,my sister, my friends.......all because of the drink.....

                Thanks for this thread.......I'm crying but I really did need to vent that.
                Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
                :h

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                  #9
                  I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                  I spent the afternoon with my granddaughters yesterday, and the oldest, who used to think eveything I said and did was right and law, I'm so sorry you're going thru you're parent's ugly divorce, problems with school, and I'm no longer the one with the answers because you understand what alcohol has done. This is my greatest regret.
                  sigpic
                  Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                  awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                    Dear Ruby you are beautiful your grandson LOVES YOU youre past is gone away!!!!!!! be the rubes I know you are beautiful ruby dont let any one question you!!!!!!!!!! otherwise they answer to ME

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                      #11
                      I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                      I'm sorry to my soul mate who is serving a life sentence in prison. I'm sorry for all of those times she called, hoping for love and support from me and all I did was give her one more heartache. That is what I am really sorry for today. Thanks Ruby. I needed to say that to someone other than her.

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                        #12
                        I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                        Oh Sweet Rubes, don't look back....Look straight ahead and know that you are a Gift From GOD and that you have many, many years of LOVE to share with your Family.You have a Disease but it no longer has you.Today you are much better at being you than if you never drank.Just think about the wisdom that you have gained thru your Healing of you.You come from a much wiser place than most others.In a very strange way, alcoholism is a gift...at least, thats how I see it.
                        sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          I WANT TO APOLGIZE.........

                          evielou;466424 wrote: Oh Sweet Rubes, don't look back....Look straight ahead and know that you are a Gift From GOD and that you have many, many years of LOVE to share with your Family.You have a Disease but it no longer has you.Today you are much better at being you than if you never drank.Just think about the wisdom that you have gained thru your Healing of you.You come from a much wiser place than most others.In a very strange way, alcoholism is a gift...at least, thats how I see it.
                          Thank you, Evie. I never thought of that.
                          sigpic
                          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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