Why so many Moms in this situation?

[universal]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

wow........can we say this is almost everyone on this site?

I am a single mom and can so relate....the past 2 years have been better but the first 5 of her life I think I was drunk the whole time.....it's hard. you work, you come home to still work and then if you're lucky you may get 5 minutes to yourself. the drink just seems to calm down the chaos......

you're not alone.

[SAUSAGE]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

My drink problem only really escalated after my children were born - now I'm trying to quit I feel I am a more depressed and irritable now I am sober. My husband is out long hours and sometimes away overnight or even for a few days, I have no family nearby for support, My husband and I have never had even one night (overnight) break together from the children since my oldest was born, and she is almost 4 and a half. Sometimes this lack of time to myself really gets to me and yes I do think it gets to me more sober. I am most tempted to have a drink in the evenings to relax "chill out " when I've had a rubbish / tough day with the kids, particularly if i'm on my own in the house and I can't go out / do something else to escape.

[evie]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

Oh wow, this thread has hit home so much..
I nearly always end up caving in after a few af days when I think of another evening to face with the kids and especially when I feel tired and stroppy. I do find them easier to cope with when I drink, but I know its not the solution.
I have no answer , I just keep on trying my best.....

[akgirl]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

I noticed how many moms were here as well. Kids can be tough. I regret a lot of what I did when my son was young. I want to be a better role model.

[whitemarshmom]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

wow. we are all the same in a way. I am a full time working mom ( outside the home) 41 years. 2 young children 4 years and 14 months. I have been drinking for a long long time, but always felt like i had control over it until recently, now I feel like it has control over me. I drink so much most nights, I dont remember putting my kids to bed, and if I do remember while I am in the shower the next morning I am teling myself "good job" a step in the right direction. This is just nuts, how did this happen? How did I get in this place? I love my kids so dearly! They are my life, but they drive me crazy and drinking helps ease the tension, and feels like it makes me a better mom. What do regular moms do to handle the pressures of children? Why are we so different? What is their secret?

[Lila]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

My kids are annoying me tonight - just too rambunctous! Not really annoying me, but I want to disappear with a book - well, I better get them doing homework....

[Michaela]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

I often wonder the same thing at school. Some Mom's have it ALL together and seem NEVER to get frazzled. I often feel like a wimp for getting so stressed and I only have ONE child at home! I think I would go NUTS with anymore.

[maddiva]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

because you is human!!!

I have raised my children on my own since they were two and four. My eldest lives with me, my youngest had a major strop and moved out to his dads. My drinking was a major factor, but not the only factor. They are 17 and 16 now. I think isolation is a big thing with mums and alcohol. Also, the fact we just give, give, give and who and what we are gets lost in the mountain of work we have before us in one day. Also, what I found when I went for my therapy (like the mad one that I am) was that alcohol made me relax, unwind. So after a day of shite with the kids, playing major mind games with the bitter ex!!!, dealing with life etc., to sit, shut the world out and unwind with a glass of wine pure heaven!!! Before long it is a bottle of wine and then it happens you become the bloody alcoholic mum. Ah well - what the hell, could it be because we are all just humans with many failings??? Thing is we are strong and we can recover!!!! It is hard being a mum. The amount of time I have wanted to stop the world and get off and realize that I cannot just leave my kids, but I have to get better without locking myself away in a rehab. Cos you could go to rehab a million times over, but you need to get your mind right and no amount of rehab is going to do that - at least that is my opinion anyway!!!

[C&C Mom]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

Wow....I always thought I was the only one. That every other mom had there stuff together and I was the weak one. Not that I want to find comfort in all of our fears and perceived failings but it is comforting knowing that all around the world we battle the same demons and yet because we have such immense love for those little people we gave life to that we continue to fight the daily fight. I have a husband but he works all the time or is involved in so many outside activities that here is not here at night much. Do you sense the resentment??
Each of you confirmed what I feel - united we stand against this terrible reliance on alcohol. I, however, have not been able to stop drinking all together but I have slowed down remarkably with a few small hiccups. I don't know what the answer is but to listen to your heart and try your best. I do know I need to get my mind in the right place....just so hard when some little person is constantly yelling for "MOMMY." How the hell do you meditate with small children?
Go forward today and we will pray for all of the moms on this board to have the strength to parent these little blessings (wink) we were given.

[Lila]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

yes, this was a great thread C&C. Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides. You really never know what goes on behind closed doors!
Lila

[river0123]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

I've always thought I wouldn't drink so much if I didn't have kids. When mine were little I felt like they were literally sucking the life out of me. It was a struggle every day to hang on to "me".
Now that my youngest is 7 and I have two that can babysit, I can escape if needed. But I know in my heart of hearts if I had a baby again I'd hit the bottle. It's too much for me to handle. I hear a baby cry and I can feel the spike in blood pressure.
Don't even ask me how I ended up with three (though I love them dearly). My 3rd one may be the second son of God. That's what I tell people - hubby included! :H

[Beaches]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

Yes we are all in the same boat. I also noticed that after children my drinking increased big time. There was no more down time I always had to be "on". However when I drank the house being messy didn't bother me as much, the kids whining didn't bother me as much etc I have three children 6,6 and 3 and I don't want them to follow in my footsteps. I need to relearn my relaxation techniques instead of drinking.

[Waiting for his way out]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

Whitemarshmom,
there is no secret.. we don't drink, we just eat everything we can find in the house. we finish the macaroni and cheese in the pot and all the leftovers kids leave on their plate. We watch other people have crazy and sexy relationships in the afternoon.. on TV !! then we start over again the next day. I made it through on chocolate and fries.. they are now 25 and 22. I am still eating the chocolate and fries..now I blame it on my job.

[Lila]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

o2m
Is your mattress protected? Because they will NEVER leave your bed, ha ha! Sometimes I go sleep in THEIR beds because when I go to bed there is no room for me.
Lila

[Waiting for his way out]

Why so many Moms in this situation?

Man...... I hate that snoring. but your poor husband snores because he has the unfortunate repeated unshakable man flu right?