Beating myself up over fibroids

[AstraiaJ.]

Well, the journey of AF has had its great moments but this wasn't one of them. An ultrasound for uterine fibroids last year and one more this year just as a "precaution." I'm in my late 40s and not far from menopause when they are supposed to shrink, but I can't help beating myself up over all the estrogen I've probably generated with all the wine over the years, that helped these damn things grow. YES, I know fibroids are super common, and yes I know they are common in non-drinkers too. But I seem to have some biggies, and I can't help but wonder ... did I make them worse? Now I have to wait for a phone call to hopefully hear the words, "Normal -- let's just keep an eye on these and wait it out."

Last year an intern, so the whole ultrasound took forever. This year a very experienced technician but with brand new machines, so the whole thing took forever again -- seemed like a hell I've brought myself to with all my drinking, lying there all paranoid in my AF anxiety that something is terribly wrong, when it most likely is not.

I've not been one to pile on the self-guilt but I can't seem to help it today. Just have to hope for the best and keep on keepin' on! At least I'm still not drinking, and starting to see some results. Some days are like this, I guess.

[Cinders]

Beating myself up over fibroids

Do not let the "what ifs" derail you.

It doesn't matter.

If your fibroids are due to drinking??? So what?

If not?? So what???

What do YOU want to do?

Love,
Cindi

[AAthlete]

Beating myself up over fibroids

I agree with Cinders. Worrying now does absolutely no good, right? What's done is done and what's important now is figuring out how to deal with it in a happy and productive way. Easier said then done, I know - but there what can you do about the past?

[rubywillow]

Beating myself up over fibroids

WHAT IF you weren't stong enough to deal with these things, yet you are. I'm thinking of you.

[dlw]

Beating myself up over fibroids

I had Fibroids too, and instead of listening to my Physician, put off my hysterectomy. I ended up hemoragging- and had to have emergency surgery, and I had complications due to the fact that I put off surgery. Your drinking did not cause this, It is a hormone thing, and sometimes the Pill can shrink the fibroids, What ever your decision- listen to your doctor- I ended up loosing a lot of blood, and if I would of listened to my Physician, I would not of risked my life.
Good Luck
DLW

[AstraiaJ.]

Beating myself up over fibroids

Thanks everybody. You are so right -- I really need to focus on the here and now. Sometimes my AF anxiety gets the best of me! Wow! You've really given me a new outlook today. Thanks again.

[CS04]

Beating myself up over fibroids

DLW, I also have fibroids. There are at least 3 big ones. I was advised not to have them removed, because if I chose to have children, then the birthing process would be complicated. I had my son 2 years ago, a few very minor complications during pregnancy but really no big deal -- until 2 days after I gave birth, one of the fibroids started to degenerate and got infected. I don't think there was really anything I could have done, either before or after the pregnancy. But I'm almost 43, and not going down that road again. At any rate, I don't drinking has anything to do with them -- none of the research I did indicated as such. Glad you are holding on AF, though!

[KTB]

Beating myself up over fibroids

We Blame Ourselves for a Lot, but Fibroids--I don't think so.

Come on: Fibroids. I don't buy it. I had to have a hysto in 1994. I had a fibroid the size of a 5-month pregnancy. I nearly bled to death when my period came around, which became every coupla weeks. I went to the baseball games, the basketball games, the softball games and ran in shame when I looked down and the blood was running down my legs when I was talking to a teammate's parent. Whatever, I didn't deserve that. Fibroids are one thing I don't blame myself for. Kay

[Michaela]

Beating myself up over fibroids

I got fibroids at 22 years old and I never drank and had one child. I had them monitored every year for years. I got pregnant again and was on SPECIAL watch because of it and my son came out FINE. I started drinking after my son was born (he's 10) and my fibroids are STILL the same size about the size of an egg. I did get on the pill after my son was born. So, I don't think the alchohol would have interfered if it did my should be the size of Texas by now! I too have anxiety and would worry myself SICK (litterly puking or out the other end). Just try and keep busy, think positive thoughts and things will be okay!

Good job on your AF by the way!

Mich

[dlw]

Beating myself up over fibroids

CS04 I should of mentioned that my baby making days were over when I had my emergency Hysterectomy. I probably would of NEVER agreed to have the procedure if I didnt have my kids already

[CS04]

Beating myself up over fibroids

DLW, you did mention that you were late 40s and pre-menopause, so I figured babies were done. When I first found out about my fibroids, we still weren't sure if we were going to have children or not -- this was maybe 6 years ago. My periods had gotten a lot heavier, and when I went to the dr for my annual, they felt smth and suggested an ultrasound.

I think the fibroids grew during my pregnancy (sometimes they grow, sometimes they die -- mine died afterward). But my dr was never able to really tell. Kinda spooky.

They don't bother me now, and have never caused me any pain. Other than anguish about having a C-section, which was not because of fibroids but because baby would not come out! (he was sunny side up)

OK too much information, and I am sure the guys are not reading this thread anyway.

[Michaela]

Beating myself up over fibroids

Oh CS I had a sunny side up son! LOL!!!

[AstraiaJ.]

Beating myself up over fibroids

Thanks for the slap of reality KTB! (I don't mean that in a bad way -- I know you are being supportive). In my rational moments, I don't buy it either. One thing about being AF for me has been these bouts of anxiety (they were most intense and often in the early AF days; much less common now and more far apart). But get this -- when my OBGYN was ready to leave the room after asking me to get a follow-up ultrasound, she suddenly says, "OH, and are you still drinking?" I had let her know about my problems with drinking before, when I wanted a referral to a primary care doc. I'm honestly thinking about getting a different OBGYN -- what a question to ask and then just leave the room until next year! Anyway, I have triggers like that and they seem to put me over the anxiety ledge, and I need to learn to recognize those for what they are until my body chemistry gets back on track.

BUT YOU ALL ARE AWESOME! When I came home tonight, boy did I want to run up to the store for AL after the day I had (hubby and son are at a sports event), but then I read the rest of the posts, and I'm here with you all and my chicken soup. Thanks for your perspectives.