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I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

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    #1

    I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

    Hello to all....to anyone who gives a crap.....I was really excited last month...about this whole program...determined to get my life back. Why is it that people you meet can so fuck you up on your journey?? My whole life, I meet guys....thet love what they see...I have a great body, great personality, great sense of humor...

    So I meet this guy, my guitar instructor.....he's short, bald, looks kinda like the travelocity roaming knome.....and I fall for him.....but of course, he drinks..he's a musician....and my whole world is turne upside down.....I'm not only drinking in the am to get rid of last nights's hangover...but now, I'm drinking at just about all hours of the day....Talk about falling off the wagon....I fell off and it friggin ran over me...then backed up a few times again over and over again.....

    I got all the supps....the topa....everything.....then got really sick with pneumonia for 3 weeks......maybe I'm still delerious from that....but I never want to be that sick ever again in my life......I guess i sound a bit crazy huh.....I know...cause I'm in the bag right now...God bless you all that have a grip on this.....SS
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    #2
    I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

    SS,

    Just pick yourself back up and get back on the program. If this guy is into you, he will respenct what YOU are doing, or NOT doing. It's your life and you call the shots.

    Just my 2 pennys.


    Best of luck to you. And welcome.

    Mich
    :beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
    AF since 10/11/2008

    Comment

      #3
      I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

      OK SS, Time to regroup. You have figured out what you did wrong. but the great thing is that YOU have the ability to fix it- Tomorrow is the 1st day of the rest of your life- so look forward- What do you want to change?- its not going to be your instructor- so work on something you have control over- YOURSELF. Take some time to get yourself together and start the supps. Don't be to hard on yourself- take one day at a time. Lastly, make sure to stay close to MWO members. We're all in this together. Lean on us when you need to-
      DLW
      AF 34 days
      DLW
      Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
      And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



      • Yesterday is History
        Today is a Mystery
        Tomorrow is a GIFT

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        #4
        I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

        SS - Sorry you had a bad go of it. Now you're here with folks who can help and support you. Dust yourself off - tomorrow's a new day.

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          #5
          I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

          Ditto on the dust yourself off. You did a month!!! You can do it again. Just cause the wagon ran you over a couple of times don't mean you can't get back up.
          LOL, the knome (too funny) will still like you.
          MM

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            #6
            I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

            Welcome!

            I would say, what can you bite off right now; chew and swallow? Sometimes forcing too much good stuff at one time makes you throw it all up. Its ALL good stuff, but sometimes a little overwhelming. Take a little piece... break it off, and take a start.

            What can you do today to get through your first 24 hours? So many are here to talk you through it and encourage you. Jump in.... you cant guide a ship that stays anchored on the shore!
            If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

            Comment

              #7
              I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

              slowly sinking;466887 wrote: .I have a great body, great personality, great sense of humor...
              It seems to me you have a good sense of self-worth if you can say this about yourself, and therefore a good chance of getting on top of your drinking. Just keep reminding yourself of your good qualities, and that you don't need alcohol-- you are great the way you are. It's not easy... especially for those who can't even see their self worth. ... So good for you on that part, and remember we ALL slip (some of us over and and over and over)-- but you haven't failed until you've given up.
              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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                #8
                I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                SS, i was lying just behind you when the wagon ran over you. Have been in a bad place myself recently, but tdy is a new day and if we dwell on yesterday were never going to get better, so im on day 2 again, and hope you can take the positives of your AF time before. We can do this.
                To Infinity And Beyond!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                  do it for you

                  Oh don't be so hard on yourself. In order to become sober forever and ever I think many mistakes have to be made on the way to find out what works well for you. Maybe it is not such a good idea to go for men at this moment when you are trying to find yourself and get sober. Playing the guitar - wonderful. Going with guitar teacher, maybe not so wonderful at this junction in time. I think sometimes having a relationship with yourself is hard enough without taking on anyone else's baggage. If you are in a steady relationship then that is a different matter but I would recommend staying away from anyone else cos they will fuck your journey up cos it may not be you who is fucked up but them and in turn the chaos will return as you try to figure out what is it about me? Well you state basically that men are interested on what is on the outside, correct, but a true soul will look beyond that. Looks are superficial and the most beautiful of creatures can become the ugliest if what lies beneath is not love!!! So count your blessings, assess whether you need the guy in your life, if he drinks and he encourages you I would think that may not be a wise choice. More to the point go out by him a little toadstool, find a fishing rod and plonk him on it with his bottle of bud!!!! Nurture yourself. But you aint failed, just had a blip!!!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                    SS you sound worthy of yourself,dont beat on yourself we've all been there(well me anyway)just remember ODAT if you dont have the first one you wont go for a second,SS i dont know you but we got one thing in common thats the poison and the greatest critic in the world.........ourselfs
                    ....ODAT works for me...

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                      PICK YOUR ASSUP ...DUST OFF...AND START OVER....bottom line!!!! What other choice do you have???? None!!!!! Expect death maybe??? How do I know...because I HAVE DONE IT MYSELF A FEW TIMES OVER. You have hit your bottom, this is it. Now do what Prest4Time said...take little steps at a time, don't rame the whole thing down your throat at one time. You can do this.
                      Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

                      Comment

                        #12
                        I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                        SS, I can't say more than what the others have said except to offer you encouragement. It's part of this nasty cycle that we do well, then crash and have to come back up again. Each time we learn something new that makes us stronger. Trust in yourself that you can do this and be the person you want to be.
                        "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                          #13
                          I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                          Problem is what goes up must come down

                          Beaches;467072 wrote: SS, I can't say more than what the others have said except to offer you encouragement. It's part of this nasty cycle that we do well, then crash and have to come back up again. Each time we learn something new that makes us stronger. Trust in yourself that you can do this and be the person you want to be.

                          to right Beaches
                          ....ODAT works for me...

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                            Thanks everyone....I'm gonna go and sleep this one off now. Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement...SS

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I have failed miserably...one month in,lied to everyone

                              I hope today is a better day!!!!!! Make each day better. We ALL know how you feel and have all been where you are. You can do this.
                              Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

                              Comment

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