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    #31
    Kick Marby up the Arse thread

    Thanks Gyco- I will start trying to feel good about myself- it's been a long time.

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      #32
      Kick Marby up the Arse thread

      YouTube - Aerosmith - Back In The Saddle (Japan 2004)
      To Infinity And Beyond!!

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        #33
        Kick Marby up the Arse thread

        This is what I meant to say earlier but didnt come across very well.....
        Marbs, I am not good at tough love (obviously) but it does sound like you have come to a point where you are going to start to sort stuff. I know it wont be easy but you have much support here. It is great that you asked for it, that is a triumph in itself.
        Always your friend
        Starts xxx
        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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          #34
          Kick Marby up the Arse thread

          Good morning Marbella!

          I'm not going to get on your case this morning as there are enough people here doing that already-lol-just sending you positive vibes for the day.

          I drink from boredom, stress, no stress, not bored - hell I just drank whenever - and I agree that not eating properly is a biggy with me too. I never eat breakfast or lunch and then wonder why I'm zapped and reaching for the bottle of vino come making dinner time.
          So I am trying to make myself have proper meals - I feed everyone else and usually don't bother with myself so that has to change.

          Hope you have a good day - I have to head out to my mother's for the night, most of my family will be there so not looking forward to that, they stress me out big time

          xx
          There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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            #35
            Kick Marby up the Arse thread

            I did a big thing just now- I asked my ex BF for help!

            I walk his dogs everyday as well as mine (no wonder winning the marathon will be a piece of cake for me) but walking dogs is frowned on here- there is no where to go, hence my long drives into the middle of the woods.

            I asked my ex to bring me some stock for the shop- he readily agreed and looked happy at the prospect. I HAVE to start asking for help and accepting it- Starts gave me her number many moons ago, but I would never have rung incase 'she was eating' or maybe 'typing a post'. I really have a low sense of self worth- nobody dislikes me as much as myself.

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              #36
              Kick Marby up the Arse thread

              Marby, you CAN call whenever you like, I will be delighted to hear from you. I do understand your reservation though.
              I am so pleased your ex reacted well to you, that maybe will give you a big boost.
              i too struggle with the self esteem thing massively.
              I also sabotage my own success. When something good or exciting happens, first thing I say to Rich is go and get yourself some beer to celebrate. He does and I sit there thinking WTF????
              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                #37
                Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                LOL that made me laugh- is he bothered about having the beer? He'd probably be happy with a chinky takeaway to celebrate or something else?!!

                It seems the shop is doing well today, my friend has called a few times to say she has ran out of stuff- so off I go to stock up. It is hard work stocking it continuously, but I am sure if we get our arses in gear with home deliveries and stuff we can make a decent living.

                I am ashamed I have put me and drinking before the business- but I also know the thoughts will be there often enough. But in the future I will cry for help instead of opening a can.

                Thank you all so much- Marby is off to the shop.

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                  #38
                  Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                  LOL, yeah he likes the beer AND something else.....greedy devil
                  Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                  Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                    #39
                    Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                    I totally agree with the eating thing. You have to keep your tummy full of food. If you do that you dont feel like drinking so much, and if you do you dont drink as much because you are full. Its been a big discovery for me!!
                    To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                      #40
                      Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                      There is no denying that AL is a mighty powerful opponent and I wouldn't stand a chance against him ALONE.But we are not ALONE.There are 100s of people on this site who want to KILL AL.Your honest post will make sure that we all know that you need the strength of all of our numbers.Come on GIRL...the squeaky wheel gets the grease.Let us help you win your battle...together we CAN do THIS.
                      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                        #41
                        Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                        We can BEAT THE BEAST,:b&d::b&d::b&d::agreed:TOGETHER.
                        sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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                          #42
                          Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                          Thanks so much again Guys... funny while out doing my chores I was thinking of you Evie, although I haven't read posts from you lately... here's a little story!

                          I was born the 2nd unwanted child of 3- (well 4 actually they aborted our last brother) my mum was only 17 when she had me.

                          Strangely enough, apart from the neglect (I nearly died needing hospital attention three times during the first 6 months of my life) they were pretty good parents at teaching us manners, and a bit of right from wrong- but when they split up when I was 7, it was a free for all- each parent and each child was left to their own devices, and no-one helped each other.

                          I became a very good thief. There was never food in the house and if we wanted to eat, nicking it was quick, fast and easy when you are little.

                          That of course progressed to my teens- I always had the latest fashion, jewelery and all the rest because I stole it. I worked from the age of 11- my mum insisted, she said she would not keep me, but I did not get by on my miniscule wages- my mum knew that of course, I never told her- but of course she knew.

                          I was very good at it thieving. When I was 15 I got caught- not by a shopkeeper but by a parent of a concerned girl at school- eventually loads of stuff came out, and I was given 2 years probation- there was talk of removing me from my mum, I WAS TERRIFIED OF THAT- although my mum told me off I could tell she was secretly proud- probably the only time as a child I felt she was proud of me- GO figure.

                          Anyway, to cut a long story short... I stopped stealing when I was around 19- somehow I found out what goes round comes around- it rang completely true for me, and from that day I knew I could never steal even an apple- and I never have.

                          Last week a lorry driver came to the shop asking if he could sell me some surplus produce (fruit) at a cheap price. I readily agreed- why not??

                          It was only a few days later, when the takings had gone right down, I realised it had been nicked. I asked my BF to tell him this morning not to bring anymore- BF looked unhappy but agreed. Today apparently so far, takings are right up again- it just goes to show what goes around comes around.

                          I thought of you EvieLOu, because you might explain it better than Me!!!

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                            #43
                            Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                            Wow, Marbella.... yeah... amazing how the human mind and spirit can move in the direction of wholeness and health and light, isn't it? You are doing that. You have done that... and you ARE doing that.

                            wip

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                              #44
                              Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                              Good thread! : )
                              Gabby :flower:

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                                #45
                                Kick Marby up the Arse thread

                                Okay Marbella, Redneck Granny getting her cowgirl boots out to kick your arse...I mean it! I'm with you on this. I told my doc last week no more starting over again and again. Enough of the warm fuzzies, right? This is serious business! I am here to get the job done with you :wings:
                                :l
                                LTG AF January 13, 2011

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